Help Me Turn Around

[FilthyStroll]

I need some guidance and this time I will listen !!! Ok I don't want to say who I am but I have been here for a couple years. This is just a new name for hopefully a new begining. I actually read the bible and posts for a couple years. I wrote about a married woman who I thought took a liking to me and wanted me. I of course was told that she was just toying with me to boost her own self esteem. But there were and still are several things that was said that told me she was serious. However the majority of it could be she was playing with me. So most people who posted told me that she was playing with me. But there were several who said that she was serious. So I asked the people who said she was playing with me what told them that and nobody would tell me and some even start calling me names. So of course does anybody even bother listening to people who call you names instead of answer you're question? Well I sure don't and willn't

So here I sit at 30 years old living with my mom working a part time job and now after worrying and being depressed for over a year about this woman I am 340lbs now!!! I have no family to turn to. My Dad hates me and will not talk to me my sister hates me My Moms answer to everything is just push it out of your head. and the rest of my family died. I had 2 friends one cut contact with me because I don't like driving. go figure.. My other one I have to beg to do something with me. Then a semi-friend ran behind my back and told this married womans friend that I was talking about her. He even claimed that he didn't know her. I don't know what it is about me to make people treat me like this.

I am confused this married womans friend tried to bring us back to hanging out again. She said don't you at least want to be friends with her. I told her no thanks I want her sexually or I don't want her at all. Of course that was the end of us talking but I kept trying for friends after all and I thought to myself why do I want to be friends with her. Its not like we could go places and hang out. So I realized that I wanted her to treat me like she did in the past. To boost my ego!!! I never realized that is what I wanted so I guess I am no better than her. I worry about this. But afterall don't the way people make you feel play a part in you liking them?

Is there any hope for me? What can I do to live a normal live with friends and a WOMAN ????? Has anybody been in my position before?

 

[Grey Fox]

First off all those that hate you, tell them to go to hell. Second just start walking 1 mile a day for two weeks. Then increase it by a mile every two weeks. Eat more vegatibles to boost your metabolism. Do this and cut out the bad stuff and you can lose about 100 pounds in 3 to 4 months and keep it off. Second while doing that read a few books, 48 laws of power which i hear is good. Machivelli's The Prince, Cicero's selected political speeches, the Hagaruke that will be a good start. The books are about Cunning, Power, Good Speaking, and living an honorable life. Take night classes and get a degree, get a job, get your own place and take up a dance class and any other hobbies that you always wanted to do. When you can become happy with yourself you can have the power to be happy with a woman in a relationship. The journey will not be easy, but the rewards are worth the fight ahead. You are still a young guy so you still have time, but no so much that you can mess around for a few more years. Its time you became the man you want to be and stop being defined by the will of others.

-Grey Fox

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Originally posted by FilthyStroll
Help me turn around!

At 345 pounds it is going to take quite a few of us DJ's "To turn you around!"

You are a man that is seeking to be loved but you are looking in the wrong place if you are looking at married women for your approval.

Firstly, get your act together - physically and mentally and then we can talk about your options!!!

I fear that you are seeking attention wherever you can get it! This may be your strategy in the short term but it is the long term that is of importance!!

 

[So pimp its scary]

Definately agree with what the others say.

At 345 lbs... Diets alone will not make you skinny... untill you start working out consistantly (3-5 times a week, depending on intensity) and eating healthy, there is little that we can help you with...

Once you jump that hurdle, come talk to us, and you will have the hardest part of being a DJ handled (for yourself)

 

[NatureGuy]

At 345 pounds it is going to take quite a few of us DJ's "To turn you around!"

Good one. And I think
PRL really has interpreted this well. Read his response several times.

 

[DJ_Dork]

I understand your life sucks and stuff, but DJs really cannot give you any advice on on "turning your life" around. Gotta have the drive and passion to change , but you seem to be moping around/whining. There is hope, I've been in your position before and had dumpy friends - then I improved myself physically, then philosophically. In the process, I lost my friends who found me as an increasing ego-threat. However, I've gained more powerful friends who are beneficial to my OWN LIFE.

Work on yourself physically/psychologically for 1-2 years, then come back to Sosuave for dating advice.

 

[splinterkb]

If you want good advice about losing wieght, then ask me. Weight lifting and excersize is a large hobby of mine. Try to drink atleast 3 glasses of milk every day. Calcium regulates how efficiently you burn your calories, so more than likely you'll burn off the stored fat you have in your body (carbs). Otherwise, you wont burn off as much wieght, because you'll be burning other things off too, like protien and fat you eat. Also start doing H.I.T. High intensity training. Work at a steady pace for about 5 mins, then go all out for as long as you can, than go back down to the steady pace. Force your body to comply (i.e. don't take breaks inbetween the intervals or it will be a waste). Be sure to eat plenty of fruits and vegetables. They will also help you burn off your fat. Hope this helps.

SKB

Also, maintain a high protien diet. Protien keeps your metabolism higher for longer than any other foods (about 15% if you want stats). Protien also burns a lot hotter than fat, so it will help burn fat around it as well.

 

[billybob]

Dude listen up, head over to www.johnstonefitness.com. The advice you've gotten so far in this thread regarding weight loss is pretty crappy.

At 345 lbs... Diets alone will not make you skinny... untill you start working out consistantly (3-5 times a week, depending on intensity) and eating healthy, there is little that we can help you with...

That's utter crap. There is only one way to lose weight, and that is to burn more calories then you consume. Honestly, I don't think you need to exercise yet. Your body isn't used to that, and at your weight it could be dangerous.

All exercise does is help you burn more calories, but if you're eating a calorie deficit then you won't need to exercise yet.

Eat more vegatibles to boost your metabolism.

I don't know where the Gray Fox got this info...of course vegetables are healthy, but many people try and lose weight and eat nothing but salads...but that's not enough. You can't starve yourself! At your weight you can eat 3000 calories a day and still lose weight probably.

Calcium regulates how efficiently you burn your calories, so more than likely you'll burn off the stored fat you have in your body (carbs). Otherwise, you wont burn off as much wieght, because you'll be burning other things off too, like protien and fat you eat. Also start doing H.I.T. High intensity training.

First of all nothing he said about calcium is proven. If you drink milk, make sure its only skim. But remember my rule of thumb, why drink calories if you're already eating too much? I'm guessing you drink a lot of soda. Begin drinking water only. You'd be surprised at how many calories that can cut.

Also, don't worry about H.I.T. At your weight that would be too much. I mean no disrespect for the previous posters but you've gotten some wack advice regarding the weightloss portion.

I'm not a fan of Atkins (I've lost 70lbs myself the old fashioned way), but at your weight it might be worth a shot. Just realize that Atkins itself isn't a miracle...it works because it makes you eat less calories then you normally do. Also don't confuse Atkins with healthy.

Seriously, head over to www.johnstonefitness.com or any other web site more geared towards nutrition.