Help me to stay strong to move on.

[lifeisgood]

Hey there.
After nearly 4 years of mostly separation from my wive and us being officially divorced for the last year I am ‘trying’ to move on.
Most of the past years have been a struggle with the occasional passionate sexy time thrown into the mix.-Sex was always what connected us.
For years I was hopeful that she would ‘come right’,-she is a BPD and the push/pull thing has been there every time I show real intention to move on completely.
As we have a four year old,-we mostly have been focusing on being good parents and have remained respectful at that.
Despite the break up and divorce I haven’t had another relationship in those past four years.
Now I have met a nice chick.
We have only been going out for about a month but it’s going well so far and I am learning to love again.
It feels great!
Now that I have informed my ex -crazy wife that I am moving on,-she is trying incredibly hard to win me back. She admits to all sorts of wrongdoing and promises to make a ‘real’ effort now,-counselling included... I feel strong about moving on but when I see her crying and emotional,-she gets me to reconsider...
Brothers!
Once before I recieved some amazing support here.
I would love your help in reminding me to stay strong and not give in.
Or is there any hope that after four years of struggling a BPD will really change their ways?
Salute men!

 

[MrWood]

Or is there any hope that after four years of struggling a BPD will really change their ways?

no

 

[Spaz]

She had her shot with you and blew it.

Move on.

You had a shot with her and blew it.

Move on.

Now you have a chance at happiness with someone who deserves a chance. Both of you deserve it. Move towards that.

 

[ohrein]

If you know she's BPD then you know she can go from loving you to hating you in the blink of an eye. Don't fall for it. Stay strong. They're called ex's for a reason.

 

[Dingo]

One month and already fell in love ?.....

Danger Will Robinson...

Protect your heart.

 

[GT40]

Just go slow man. Love after a month? No way no how. The BPD gal ? Just stay away and move on.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

If you know she's BPD then you know she can go from loving you to hating you in the blink of an eye. Don't fall for it. Stay strong. They're called ex's for a reason.

THIS. I was married to a woman with BPD. Stay as far away from that sh*t as humanly possible!

Be careful with the new girl - don't wear your heart on your sleeve. I've made that mistake and been burned bad.

 

[Spaz]

BPD, not meaning to be offensive here, but I find this term thrown around the threads quite liberally.

It's like almost all the ex has BPD syndrome.

 

[Glassguy]

Despite the break up and divorce I haven’t had another relationship in those past four years.

Hopefully in that year you have been working on yourself (Gym, hobbies, your purpose in life).

Now I have met a nice chick.
We have only been going out for about a month but it’s going well so far and I am learning to love again.

All chicks are nice in the beginning because you are only seeing their good side that they want you to see.

Love? Da Fuq? Slow down chief. After a month you should be finding more options than her. Its great that you are back into the dating scene but you need to be focusing on yourself and playing the field. Let go of this Disney land bullshyte about one girl and love right now. Aint happening.

Now that I have informed my ex -crazy wife that I am moving on,-she is trying incredibly hard to win me back. She admits to all sorts of wrongdoing and promises to make a ‘real’ effort now,-counselling included... I feel strong about moving on but when I see her crying and emotional,-she gets me to reconsider...

Why would you "inform" her that you are moving on? YOU GOT DIVORCED. ITS OVER. Who cares what she admitted to doing. If she had ANY respect for you she would have put forth the real effort when you were still married and NOT done whatever it is she did.

Stay away from her. You will 100% sabotage any and all relationships with future women if you are hanging on to ANY hope this ex will ever change.

Getting back with your ex is like reading your favorite book again or watching your favorite movie again and expecting a different ending.

Slow down with the current girl, stay the fvck away from your ex and find another woman or two that is down to hang out.

 

[ohrein]

BPD, not meaning to be offensive here, but I find this term thrown around the threads quite liberally.

It's like almost all the ex has BPD syndrome.

I think a lot of women have personality disorders. A lot of guys probably do too, but there's a reason people end up on sites like these and it's not because they find healthy women and have healthy relationships. I'd imagine there is an over-reporting of BPD on here but that said, you'd expect to hear of a much higher instance of women with personality disorders on a site like this because their behaviour is likely to be confusing and painful, leading people to come here. I personally have never dated someone with BPD but I have dated a few girls with other pretty serious disorders.

 

[Spaz]

I think a lot of women have personality disorders. A lot of guys probably do too, but there's a reason people end up on sites like these and it's not because they find healthy women and have healthy relationships. I'd imagine there is an over-reporting of BPD on here but that said, you'd expect to hear of a much higher instance of women with personality disorders on a site like this because their behaviour is likely to be confusing and painful, leading people to come here. I personally have never dated someone with BPD but I have dated a few girls with other pretty serious disorders.

Their personality is different then us, serious mood swings, unexpected attitudes, downright crazy decisions, hell they are not even logical most of the time.

Sounds like almost all women I've met or ever known exhibits what I've described.

Maybe being with men jump starts women's emotions into hyper drive ?