Help me take her from her boyfriend

[bill123]

Hi guys,

I'm new here, but hope you can help. I'm certainly no master of any kind of "game" but am not totally unsuccessful with women.

So there's this chick at work that I caught the eye of, and knew I was "on". Went out with her a bunch of people a few days later, kissed her in the bar, then got her back to my place. There was another guy trying it on with her throughout the night, and she was responding to him for a while - she was pretty drunk - but I won, and she ended up in my bed.

All sounds promising, but though she didn't stop me from kissing her, she didn't open her mouth and wouldn't kiss me back. I started to undress her and she didn't resist, but still remained completely passive. In fact she was so passive that after a while it felt kinda creepy, so I stopped.

I'm guessing the issue is that she has a steady boyfriend. The day she ended up in bed with me, she was pissed off with him. The next day we were cuddling in bed and she was talking about how she'd like to kiss some other dude at work, too. I didn't say anything to that. I emailed her the next week to say I wanted to pursue things with her, but she responded with a "let's just be friends" brush-off.

So far so bad. But then the next weekend she started texting me out of the blue, with kisses on the end. She often blushes when she talks to me, and has made at least one excuse to spend time with me alone.

So she's giving me mixed signals, but a few positive ones. Any advice? One pointer is that she's 24 and I'm 40. I'm guessing she's in a seriously fickle phase, and I don't want to get jerked around by her. But I'd still like to take her from the boyfriend.

 

[KontrollerX]

"I'm guessing the issue is that she has a steady boyfriend."

Guessing as in you are not actually sure she has a boyfriend?

Also what do you mean by take her away from her boyfriend?

Do you intend to try and turn a h0 into a house wife/girlfriend or are you purely in this for the poon? If you are in it for the poon great but if you are in this for a love connection you couldn't choose a worse candidate.

Reasons...

If a chick is willing to cheat on her boyfriend with you she will do the same to you eventually as that is her nature.

She's a wh0re based on how she's casually telling you that she is interested in other guy's like you don't matter. Bad sign right there for your prospect of her as a love interest if thats what you are thinking of making her.

"In fact she was so passive that after a while it felt kinda creepy, so I stopped."

Have a read over this thread and make sure she's not one of them before you continue with her...

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=134717

Alright now that I've finished with the third degree if you want to get laid by her always refuse her offer at mere friendship either politely or not answering her when she suggests that is all you and she should be.

Also be ****y, funny and cool around her which you are probably doing already but make sure she only gets the best of you in this way when she exhibits good behavior that you want to see towards you from her.

If she acts like you don't matter or ignores you or does anything else unpleasant she loses your attention until she does something in your mind that makes her deserving of earning it back.

Should she act badly towards you and then apologize later you must find some way to tell her that an apology requires much more than words and then using your best charm skills you should ask that she takes you out and pays for both of your meals at some restaurant or that she has to come and spend some quiet time with you somewhere watching a movie where of course you can attempt to escalate on her.

Also never underestimate any woman or say to yourself you know what she must be going through a phase right now.

Don't do that.

Always stay clear minded and alert and realize that women whatever they do are usually playing a game of some sort and that you have to be better at it than them by asking yourself what you want out of the interactions, asking yourself if you think you can get all that you want out of it and if not how much of your precious time will you spend on this woman in getting whatever it is you have judged you can get out of her?

Basically you have to size women up in that you figure out what game it is they are playing and what they seem to be wanting out of men and then you adjust your expectations accordingly and proceed.

Like say you judge that a woman is a female playa then what you would do is just focus on getting sex out of her as much as you can and when that gravy train ends no big deal you both benefitted.

Or say you judge a woman to be the sensitive caring type that seems to want kids and a family you can then decide whether you have the same goals and if you do proceed with her to make her your wifey.

See though its all a game and your job as a man is to figure out what game each woman is playing and how you can get the most points by playing their game better than they do or deciding if a particular game is even right for you to engage in.

 

[bill123]

If a chick is willing to cheat on her boyfriend with you she will do the same to you eventually as that is her nature.

She's a wh0re based on how she's casually telling you that she is interested in other guy's like you don't matter. Bad sign right there for your prospect of her as a love interest if thats what you are thinking of making her.

Wow. Thanks for giving me this perspective. Yeah, this had vaguely occurred to me, but it's good to see it in black and white.

I guess I should go in for the sex only. She is hella sexy but I already know in my head that I couldn't seriously have a relationship with her. Problem is I have a habit of getting attached...

Have a read over this thread and make sure she's not one of them before you continue with her...

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=134717

Maybe not the one I was first talking about, but that sure as hell describes my ex. Really uncanny - that's her. Abandoned as a kiddie, lured me with sex, went straight into telling me she loved me, incredible in bed - the best ever - then demonized me for nothing at all, then left me for another guy with no warning, with the flimsiest of excuses. Took a long, long time to get over her and only managed it by cutting all contact and not replying to her any more. She now has the new guy wrapped around her finger.

Yeah, I am naturally ****y and funny around the other chick. I'll start withholding it, while not allowing myself to fall for her.

Thanks man, the advice is superb.

 

[bluemanson]

now why cant someone post something like this on my threads.
this is good sh$t

 

[slickaz]

What he said..
BUT!

remember, you said she works with you......

VERY BAD IDEA...

do not go there...

 

[bill123]

Update time.

Thanks for the awesome advice. Particularly from KontrollerX. In answer to your question I'm not in this for a relationship. I know it wouldn't work between us because of the age gap.

So anyway, a few days after I posted first, I got her back to my place again and kissed her - and this time she kissed me back. But after a couple hours I told her to go home, and called her a cab.

A few days later, we were out in a group again, left together again, a lot of smooching in the cab.

Last week we shared a cab again, and I put my arm round her and she cuddled into me and we had the following conversation:

Her: "I'm with my boyfriend. But I really like you."
Me: "You're saying you like me because I'm 'a nice guy'."
Her: "No, I really like you as in 'I am attracted to you'."
So I kissed her on the mouth and got out of the cab and walked home.

We're going out in a group again tomorrow. Had this conversation on email today:

Her: "My boyfriend's not coming."
Me: "Party back at mine afterwards."
Her: "No way, I know what always happens when I end up at your place."
Me: "That's why I'm suggesting it, dumbass."
Her: "You're terrible!"

I get the feeling that I'm inadvertently messing with her, coming on strong, then making 'unavailable' moves that create attraction. I blow hot and cold with her, and get rid of her when she's responding to me.

And yeah, we work together. Run away, run away. Worse, her boyfriend moved back in with her again. If she left him for me I wouldn't know what to do with her. And I don't want to mess up her life.

It's all wrong, but man, there's something about this chick. I want to f*ck her - but I want to look after her too. She's not even that hot. My last serious girlfriend was a bust-your-nuts drop-dead 9. This girl scrapes a 6 on a good day. WTF is going on here?

 

[I'm in the Mood]

Stop man, just stop.

Boyfriend = RED LIGHT

You want her, but she's also a cheater. Why do you want a cheater, where are your values at?

It also sounds like you're confused about her because in your last post you stated:
>>>"I want to f*ck her - but I want to look after her too. She's not even that hot."

And in your post prior to that:
>>>"She is hella sexy but I already know in my head that I couldn't seriously have a relationship with her."

With contradicting feelings like this, I suggest you name your relationship with her as either 1.friends or 2.fvck buddies and call it a day. UNLESS you can figure out exactly what's in your mind (it's not that simple, I doubt you could do it with your current mindset).