Help Me Pop This

[Juando]

I've gotta make this short- there's a lot of DJ wisdom out there and I want some of it now.

I've got a couple of plates, one Asian, one American-Asian, late twenties early thirties who are ready to "pop", I can feel it.

They have both tried to claim friend zone immunity. B.S. is what that is now, I know it they know it but they are holding on to the last shreds of the their AASD (Asian ASD). All the while you could cut the sexual tension between us with a chain saw.

I'm caught between an hardon and a soft puzzy, it's right there, I can taste it, smell it but can't.....quite.....get....my sweaty hands on IT.

Do you feel my pain?

I've done all the take-aways, all the escalating, push-pull, c/f, everything.
My recent bold moves have been righteously rebuffed but they just come back for more of me, acting like sex is just not in the cards.

I have pushed them away for long stretches and what's happened is they come back, and with more intimacy so it feels like it's just a matter of time to get to the Promised Land, but I'm out of patience.

I'm ok with Nexting them permanently, although I'm working with them on creative projects that will keep them around for another 4 to 6 months.

I need to do something different. What is it?

The older, Amer-Asian one is coming over tonight, so I'm buzzing.

 

[happyguy]

If you are going for the do straight-on, you will lose. Rent a movie. (Ghost Busters, When Harry Met Sally, You've Got Mail...). Stroke her hair, have her leaning on your shoulders. Match her breathing pattern. Stroke her gently around her lower back and outside of her legs.

If she is into you, there is no more stopping. Just don't push it. Every time she pulls out tonight, say 'yes, you are right, we shouldn't be doing this', take a 2 minute breather and go back to touching and stroking.

 

[Juando]

If you are going for the do straight-on, you will lose. Rent a movie. (Ghost Busters, When Harry Met Sally, You've Got Mail...). Stroke her hair, have her leaning on your shoulders. Match her breathing pattern. Stroke her gently around her lower back and outside of her legs.

If she is into you, there is no more stopping. Just don't push it. Every time she pulls out tonight, say 'yes, you are right, we shouldn't be doing this', take a 2 minute breather and go back to touching and stroking.

Thank you happyguy. Your advice makes sense to me and I like the simplicity and straightforward quality of this approach.

This one has been nexted after last night.
I feel relaxed knowing it's not me, it's her. She knows what I want based on my actions. I know that there's a "wall' there regardless of my approach.
She will not be getting any more attention from me.

One down one to go.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

How long have you been "working" these two?

 

[Juando]

How long have you been "working" these two?

The one from last night, I've been attracted to for years, but not "worked" her until recently, when my LTR ended. So it's been a few months.

She admitted that she had a crush on me when we met.
I kept her as a potential plate because she was theoretically available, as her LTR ended also. She has been unraveling her emotions from her breakup so I thought it wise to not push too aggressively, also considering that there has been, short of outright romance, a lot of intimacy between us.

Now I don't care to give the situation more time because for whatever reasons, she's not ready. She may be ready tomorrow (doubt it) or in six months but I don't want to put energy into what feels unattainable now.


Number 2 lady I've known for about year because of working on a couple of projects with her. Did not pursue her because I was "taken" but definitely found her attractive. Gave her a shot after I became available but made limited progress so I dropped my pursuit.

Just recently I 've been around her again and tested the waters for one more round, considering it had been a few months.

Her response has been mixed- more friendly, more physical, more available, etc. than last time, but not receptive to the degree and speed I would like.

Hence my desire to end the limbo condition by closing her next time I see her. Closing or nexting. Honestly, there's a part of me that loves spending time with these women. They're beautiful, smart, funny, engaging.
But they're women, sexy women- and theoretically available but if I can't get them from theoretical to actual, nexting is better.

This whole "progress" thing has been fascinating but ultimately frustrating.
You can't be making progress towards your goal forever if you actually want to make a home run and get the reward. i've been seduced by what felt like real progress. Who decides what the balance is between progress/reward?

It's gotta be me.

And with these two it's been too much "progress" and not enough reward.

The seduction to give it a little more time and effort with no. 2 is still in place but I'm setting a definite limit.

 

[joekerr31]

I need to do something different. What is it?

sounds like you need to get them drunk.

haha, i know, sounds silly, but im serious. it sounds like they want to bang you, but they know they can keep you around as an emotional tampon.

you've 'tried everything' and nothing is working. so sounds like its time to cheat. get a couple beers into them and their inhibitions will melt away.

i know, not very DJ-like advice, but you've tried all the DJ tactics and they aren't working. you keep getting to the 10 yard line but never score the touchdown.

 

[Desdinova]

I'd say toss 'em on the backburner. Keep working at them, but don't make them a priority. There are other women out there who don't have a cultural or religious ASD. Remember to reward women when they do something good, punish them when they do something bad. If they're not giving you sex, then punish them by making less time for them.

Happyguy has the formula for "convincing" them to give into their desires. All you need to do is get control of your own sexual desire. It's fvcking difficult at times, but it can be done.

 

[Juando]

sounds like you need to get them drunk.

haha, i know, sounds silly, but im serious. it sounds like they want to bang you, but they know they can keep you around as an emotional tampon.

you've 'tried everything' and nothing is working. so sounds like its time to cheat. get a couple beers into them and their inhibitions will melt away.

i know, not very DJ-like advice, but you've tried all the DJ tactics and they aren't working. you keep getting to the 10 yard line but never score the touchdown.

The last time I got some puzzy, she said to me,
are you going to fukk me? You better do it soon 'cause the wine is starting to wear off.

I'm gonna try it-
wtf, these women have been driving me nuts because they have NOT been acting like women who are not interested. Last night, my cel rang at the grocery while shopping for dinner with no 1;

it was no 2, telling me that she had been in my neighborhood earlier and was disappointed that I was not home. Too bad, I say. And she says, check your door for dents from all the knocking I did.... WTF!!

Why didn't I think of that Joekker?

AFC question: I've gotten women drunk before, it's easy when they're disposed towards drinking but these two although they enjoy drinking are moderate drinkers so what should I do, take them to a bar, take them to dinner and keep ordering drinks, tell them I've discovered my talent for mixing drinks, what?

It's going to take more than a couple of beers with these two. I've been with them with that much alcohol in them and their panties were still bunched up tight. The loosest I've gotten them was with a combo of alcohol and massage; no 2 says she wants her next massage to be "rough".... hmm, sake should be the ticket pre-massage...

I am totally going to do this.

I do not feel guilty or amoral. I feel like a facilitator. These women need help and I have been assigned to help them overcome their psychological/sexual "blocks".

Thanks for the clarity.

 

[Juando]

Oh, and I know from experience that Asian women are VERY susceptible to hard likker.......

 

[joekerr31]

I am totally going to do this.

I do not feel guilty or amoral. I feel like a facilitator. These women need help and I have been assigned to help them overcome their psychological/sexual "blocks".

Thanks for the clarity.

im not saying get them sh*t faced and screw them when they pass out. that's called rape.

im just saying grease the wheels with 1-2 beers. if after a couple of beers they dont' loosen up and want to fool around, odds are they never will.

remember, this is advice im giving based on the fact that youve known these women for a while and seem to be getting played by them.

when they have a little booze in their system they aren't able to control their game playing. they tend to show their cards one way or another.

alcohol is the greatest truth serum on the planet (legal truth serum anyway).

 

[Juando]

im not saying get them sh*t faced and screw them when they pass out. that's called rape.

im just saying grease the wheels with 1-2 beers. if after a couple of beers they dont' loosen up and want to fool around, odds are they never will.

remember, this is advice im giving based on the fact that youve known these women for a while and seem to be getting played by them.

when they have a little booze in their system they aren't able to control their game playing. they tend to show their cards one way or another.

alcohol is the greatest truth serum on the planet (legal truth serum anyway).

No, I'm not like that.

I agree, I don't want to take advantage of a semi-comatose woman.
That's not my idea of fun.

My fantasy is to get them to act out their deepest desires and motivations, assuming they're there.

The woman who asked me to fukk her before the wine wore off had ASD and LMR stuff going on- she was mumbling about "doing something stupid" while she eagerly dropped her skirt and pulled me into her bedroom. Once in bed all the ASD/LMR totally evaporated. That's what I'm talking about.

 

[happyguy]

I second the alcohol idea. Not the falling-over-drunk drunk, but the lowered-inhibition drunk. Two glasses of wine should usually suffice to get the interested woman past her hold up. I have done it many times too, and it works like magic with the shy or foreign girls.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

They have both tried to claim friend zone immunity. B.S. is what that is now, I know it they know it but they are holding on to the last shreds of the their AASD (Asian ASD).

Is this a recent development then or has this been over the course of you knowing them?

Based on the info you've provided I'm inclined to say they're both stale bread. Maybe they were good when fresh, but not worth the effort at this time. The problem with situations like this is that you expend a lot of effort and game on a woman who's not likely to give you a very good return on the investment after knowing them for years, and over the course of their LTRs. I say that because if you play the patient friend over the course of her LTR and then come on to her once the coast is clear and the BF is no longer a factor it has the tendency to make you look desperate and/or optionless in a huge way. Don't think for a second that women don't perceive it this way.

I don't know what your real options are, but my advice, as always, is that time spent on a new prospective woman is always preferable to trying to make an old situation work. At 51 I'd think you'd agree that being pragmatic about it is in your best interest.

 

[Juando]

Is this a recent development then or has this been over the course of you knowing them?

Based on the info you've provided I'm inclined to say they're both stale bread. Maybe they were good when fresh, but not worth the effort at this time. The problem with situations like this is that you expend a lot of effort and game on a woman who's not likely to give you a very good return on the investment after knowing them for years, and over the course of their LTRs. I say that because if you play the patient friend over the course of her LTR and then come on to her once the coast is clear and the BF is no longer a factor it has the tendency to make you look desperate and/or optionless in a huge way. Don't think for a second that women don't perceive it this way.

I don't know what your real options are, but my advice, as always, is that time spent on a new prospective woman is always preferable to trying to make an old situation work. At 51 I'd think you'd agree that being pragmatic about it is in your best interest.

I hear you, Rollo and the gist of your take on this makes sense to me.

This is one of those situations where proximity has pulled me back in, or better put, I've allowed myself to get pulled back in. As I stated, for the next few months I'm going to be around them (separately) while completing some projects. Being around them up 'till now has been the trigger for the lust.

I'm always going to be attracted to them and like them, I think, but I'm determined to shift 100% into work mode with one (#1). I'm actually looking forward to being put to the test and flexing my "resistance" muscle in the "field".

The other one (#2) is on the verge of being nexted in a similar fashion but I want to test the waters one more time because she has been unusually responsive and available the last couple of times. But it's all or nothing- if I don't cross a romantic threshold that's it.

re the "patient friend" comment: we (#1)BOTH were in LTRs. She also admitted having a crush on me when we met. I'm not looking to rationalize, but does your desperate/optionless analysis still apply? And she's explicitly/implicitly aware that I've got plates spinning. It's probably moot at this point but I would be curious if this context alters your take at all....

I so appreciate the mirroring I'm getting here; it takes the edge off feeling unsure/confused how to proceed, and I look forward to getting out of the woods and on to a fresh start, as you have sorted out.