Help me not worry about losing favorite plate

[TheCWord]

I'm currently doing a couple day ghost on my favorite plate, who ended a date way too early - citing work reasons.

She was super apologetic and she could tell I was peeved, to the point where her eyes welled up a bit and she told me she was worried I wouldn't contact her again.

I can be understanding when it comes to work stuff and/or anxiety associated with it, but it totally caught me off-guard and, frankly, I have another plate who stays over til like 1am when she has to be at work for 9. So, when favorite plate confused me like this, alarm bells sounded. She's been consistently good - every time I text to make plans, she always accepts, she brings booze, makes food, etc - but this was the first time I saw a low interest flag.

Not liking to be confused by women, I've decided to simply go ghost for a couple days, then I'll drop her a text and invite her over as usual. I have another plate coming over tonight to keep my mind off things. Problem is, these 48 hours have been brutal - I've been noticing some old familiar AFC thoughts racing through my mind...

I worry that me disappearing is going to piss her off and it's going to decrease her interest... I worry that, when I ignored her text last night, she's going to decide I'm a jerk and start playing the ghost game back (although, has that ever happened in history????)

Straighten me out, guys!

 

[TheException]

I worry that me disappearing is going to piss her off and it's going to decrease her interest... I worry that, when I ignored her text last night, she's going to decide I'm a jerk and start playing the ghost game back (although, has that ever happened in history????)

Paradox of Action^

We as men always feel the solution to every perceived problem...is to act. Its often the opposite. By constantly acting,you give off the vibe of needy and insecure.

That being said...I wouldnt have gone ghost in the first place. I think its over prescribed on this site. Her action would not have offended me, nor would I have taken it so seriously. I certainly would not have been blowing up her phone over the last 48 hours, but I would have responded to her text last night.

As played, just text her tomorrow like you planned and schedule a meet up. Act like ignoring her never happened. If she brings it up....avoid avoid avoid. Just dismiss it with something like:

HB: By the way...why didnt you text me back the other night?
You: I was busy with work. Had a lot going on.

The best prescription for your thoughts...is to ALWAYS ASSUME ATTRACTION. Look at yourself in the mirror and think "Yaaaa she wants me".

 

[Uncharted]

When I'm in a scenario like this, I just act like it never happened.

Give a day or two and call to get together. Be upbeat when you talk to her. Women will follow your frame if it's strong enough. Later on you'll think "wow I'm surprised I was worrying about that".

As far as losing a plate, you have to have the mentality that a girl can leave at any time - AND YOU HAVE TO BE OK WITH THAT.

 

[PlayHer Man]

The second you care more about the relationship than the girl is the second you are SCREWED.

So whats the solution? Well.. first you have to avoid the trap you're about to enter with her --> Mind games and trying to RAISE her interest level. Don't do it.

Believe it or not.. its a sign of pedestalization and inferiority. Its an indirect way of kissing a*s. Think about it: You are CHANGING YOUR BEHAVIOR so that ONE woman will like you more. Bad medicine. :nono:

This behavior is bad for your self-esteem and will ultimately turn you into a pandering faggot.

Understand this: The more you care the LESS she will. Mind games won't help.

My personal policy for dealing with plates who I end up liking too much is to dump them. If I believe my interest is too high and her interest is too low.. I know I've lost the game. So I cut my losses and dump her. I know it will only get worse if I stick around (you NEVER want to reach the point where you are afraid to leave. Never ever!)

Remember that women have a Ph.D in male manipulation. You won't win with all of them. Some will game you like a professional and gradually dominate the relationship. You can't win with these women.. they're too good. You have to either dump them or watch your power in the relationship gradually erode.

Your choice.

 

[LorenzoVonM]

You are worried that if this one girl leaves then you won't easily be able to replace her with a new plate as valuable. Anytime you value something above all others you are gonna enter a scarcity mentality. It will cause you to do conscious things to keep the object of your desire. This will in turn push that object away.

There was no reason to get mad. If someone wastes your time you simply don't let it happen again. Its not a punishment for her but a protection of yourself. If you want to try again or she is deeply apologetic then you you can try another time. Its all about focusing on stuff that is positive and moving away from the negative. So you are not reacting to her but rather being the captain of your ship, proactively trying to steer your life along the best course.

 

[instantnoodles]

she could tell I was peeved

This is where you blew it. Lol. For Christ's sake! You are starting to have a dose of AFC. She's not even your GF.

(although, has that ever happened in history????)

Probably not... but I do it all the time! :crackup: