Part pf the reason you may never be satisfied with yuourself is because you're looking for a personality that appeases, accomodates, and seeks approval from others.
In other words, you want a personality and lifestyle that impresses OTHER people, rather than placing that importance on yourself.
When you live your life to please, entertain, overly accomodate others, seek their acceptance and approval , you will never win.
You will never get what you want that way.
Your EXTREME anxiety and the way you handle these 'crises' shows a lack of mature perception of how things really work.
You are still operating from the immature, entitled mentality of satisfying your narcissistic Ego, and you will never fulfill it. You will always have a vacuum, a black hole there, that no one, and no thing can ever fill for you.
Little babies want constant attention, not grown men.
I will excerpt somes stuff from Dr. Paul Dobransky. I dont have the time as much to keep repeating myself with the same advice for guys having the same EXACT issues as you. Please read this:
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Dr. Paul says
Succeed in expanding your “comfort zone” to reach more goals, and you will
have brought goals into your true CONTROL. And then they aren’t goals anymore.
REAL men are willing to go outside their “comfort zone” in order to expand who they
are.
This very fact of personal boundaries may be your sticking point. If you are
UNWILLING to try some new behaviors, dare to do something different, or expand your
repertoire of skills, then you have already lost—mature masculine power is not for you.
You will not achieve it. Women are highly attracted to men who are willing to go at least
a little bit outside their “comfort zone.” All you have to do is say YES to this feature of
your personal boundary, and mature masculine power is yours.
More:
Suffering is “trying or wishing to control the uncontrollable, and spending energy
and time in the process”. If you think about our three inner resources—emotional energy,
intellectual ideas, and decision-making power—you’ll see how suffering happens
because of those holes in the boundary. The boundary is like a “tank” that HOLDS our
inner resources; so when it is shoddy the currency of your inner resources—energy, time,
and freedom—can leak out easily.
Just look what can happen to you if you don’t learn to patch up those holes in the
personal boundary—stress gets in whenever it wants. Stress originates in the
uncontrollable environment—that means that the “uncontrollable” has total control over
YOU! So you go around having a “good” day only because the environment is “good”,
and a “bad” day every time the environment is “bad”. This condition is called irritability
of a type that no medicine can fix—it is purely psychological! Only YOU can fix this
kind of irritability in yourself or your company, by deciding to deal with stress head-on.
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So basically, stop worrying about what you cant control. And that is:
OTHER PEOPLE'S PERCEPTIONS OF YOU.
Live your life concerned with YOUR desires, dreams, goals, and your ambition.Stop giving these other people who dont careabout you so much power over you.
And stop trying to DENY WHO YOU REALLY ARE, just so you can have some random stranger 'approve' of you.
These types of behaviors you are engaging ARE self destructive, because you are denying and not accepting your own unique self and your own unique Qualities.
And being someone unique and interesting is what attracts others to you. Because you ARE different. And not someone trying to follow the rest of the herd.
Being accepted is a double edged sword.
It is nice to have recognition, but it is deadly and destructive WHEN YOU NEED IT THIS BAD LIKE YOU DO.
Stop living your life trying to gain approval from others.
Learn WHO you are and WHAT you want. What do YOU like?
What are YOUR hobbies? What are YOUR PASSIONS?!
Stop placing all this importance eon these random strangers who dotn give you the time of day, it is all about you needing to be recognized by these people who are often not worth much your effort anyway.
What you're going through is that immature stage of NEEDING VALIDATION.
This is what we talk about all the time here. And why you should read the DJ Bible, and all of Pook's posts.Look up Dr, Paul, Zan Perrion, David Deangelo, Scott Mckay, RSD, theres a multitude of resources out there and all have something different that may speak to you.
Do some research first and inform yourself on your condition and stop asking questions when you havent been spending time researching for your own answers.
The BEST help is SELF HELP.
LEarn it and integrate it.
I know you dont value yourself.
I know you have very low self esteem. I know you think you are unworthy and undeserving.
Thats why you NEED others to help you to pull you out of your own hole.
But you need to develop the skill to pull YOURSELF out of your own hole.
And stop wanting to be spoon fed.
Develop some self esteem, self respect, pride, and diginity for yourself, man.
And let go of this immature, whining anxiety that you dont need in your life or in your personality.
