Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Help me man up. I need it so much

Jokerlsk

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Okay, basically, i hardly knew this girl during the school year, but she's a year below me. Anyways, I wrote on her wall telling her, her facebook got hacked and then we had this long conversation where i got her number, and we've been texting nonstop sense. It was so random, but it feels like she's attracted to me. I'd say something like, "Haha that made me smile." and she'd say, "haha i like making people smile. Especially you :)" or she'd ask me about prom and I'd say, "yeah, i had fun, but i would of had more fun if it was next, so i could take this amazing girl i know." and she'd say, "She'd definitely go with you :)" That's just a background of how we text and stuff though...

Yesterday, me and a group of friends went out to eat, and I invited her. It was last second but she went, and unluckily for me, i had my friend in my car with me lol. basically me and her were at the end of a huge table and it was just us talking. She told me then that i was the only guy here dad's ever let drive her anywhere. Idk what that means but i'll take it. At the end of the night, I took her home and walked her to her door, and did nothing like an AFC. I didn't even hug her.... We're both going out of town, but we're seeing a movie together when we get back... She said she had fun, but all i can think about is how much i effed up... What can i do to fix this
 

Ice882

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tone down the sappiness a little, or you will get burned. I know it feels good. Resist. You were probably waiting for that "perfect" moment to do something, right? No people around, just the right amount of silence after just the right thing was said... That almost never happens. If everyone waited for that perfect moment all the time (a la the movies) people would hook up once a year. If she's attracted, she's attracted -- she should respond positively to physical advances in the same way you'd respond positively to physical advances from a girl you liked. So don't worry about elegance -- force the moment. Put your hands on her hips. Let her finish her sentence. Kiss her.
 
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Ice882 said:
tone down the sappiness a little, or you will get burned. I know it feels good. Resist. You were probably waiting for that "perfect" moment to do something, right? No people around, just the right amount of silence after just the right thing was said... That almost never happens. If everyone waited for that perfect moment all the time (a la the movies) people would hook up once a year. If she's attracted, she's attracted -- she should respond positively to physical advances in the same way you'd respond positively to physical advances from a girl you liked. So don't worry about elegance -- force the moment. Put your hands on her hips. Let her finish her sentence. Kiss her.
+ 1000 :up:
 

kingsam

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touching is only a big deal if you think it is- and it aint!

the longer you wait to initiate physical contact wiht her the more awkward it gets.... you should have been getting lightly physical in the resturant then more afterwoods

you need to take out just you two, go do something where you interact playfully (and touch!) rather than JUST sit looking at each other.
 

Captain

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"Texting nonstop" = BAD IDEA. How to fix this? KISS HER next time you see her. You just got to grab your balls and do it. There's no magic pill. Repeated exposure will make things easier in time, but in the mean time, you've got to JUST DO IT.
 

nismo-4

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Ice882 said:
tone down the sappiness a little, or you will get burned. I know it feels good. Resist. You were probably waiting for that "perfect" moment to do something, right? No people around, just the right amount of silence after just the right thing was said... That almost never happens. If everyone waited for that perfect moment all the time (a la the movies) people would hook up once a year. If she's attracted, she's attracted -- she should respond positively to physical advances in the same way you'd respond positively to physical advances from a girl you liked. So don't worry about elegance -- force the moment. Put your hands on her hips. Let her finish her sentence. Kiss her.
I hope you don't wind up needing a burn heal. Listen to Ice882! There's no such thing as a perfect, movie moment. Make your own perfect movie moments. That's what alpha males do.

I had to use a revive and a burn heal myself when I tried to wait for a perfect romantic moment. So now I make them! Judge Nismo has spoken!

Case closed.
 

Jokerlsk

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Okay, yall hate on me, burn me, whatever.
Basically i straight up texted her, "Listen, it's pretty obvious I'm interested. I need to know if you are, or if I'm just wasting my time." and she sent me this

"It's complicated. I am, but i really right now don't feel like i could do it! Because everytime i have a boyfriend or whatever i can't focus on school and with it starting and all i just need to get back into things! But you're a really really nice guy adn sweet and funny and really fun. It's just a little much for me right now but that's not forever because you are a really good guy and i never ever want you to doubt that. Can we still be close and stuff??"

Then i said "Listen, i need to be hoenst with you. I'm not trying to an *******, but i'm not doing this whole best friend thing. I got too much to deal with as is, and I'm not looking for another friend."

Then she said, "Okay, well that's cool. Just know i'm always here if you need anything."

and i said, "Thanks but no thanks. If i'm close to you I'll always want more and that's just not happening."

and she said, "I just don't want things awkward between us."
and i said, "I'm gonna see you like 5 times all year. It won't matter."

and she said, "I'm so sorry it's like this. I wish it wasn't!"

and i said, "I don't regret getting to know you. Next time don't lead someone on."

and she said, "Yeah well you know what? I didn't think i was until i came to reality and knew i couldn't do this right now. And i want it to be different.

And i said, "Sorry it can't."

And she said, "Could you ever see this working again?"

And i said, "I"m not just an option. I'm a person. You can't just decide when and when not you want me. I honestly don't know."

and she said, "I know. and you're a much better person than me. I mean what i'm saying you just don't understand. I'm not ust playing around with you i want this to happen. You're just not understanding why i did this."

and i said, "I am understanding. And i care about you. I can't just be someone you use to make you feel better or smile. And even if you aren't playing around with me, that's how it feels. I deserve more."

and she said, "I know. I know. I know that's how it feels and i know you deserve a hell of a lot more than that. I honestly don't know if i could give you all you deserve but i know i could try. I want to. Can i have something? One thing. One day. I just need to get my head straight. Please jokerlsk?"

and i said, "Idk what you're asking for."

And she said, "Can I please have until tomorrow to think this whole thing over? Please?"

And i just said, "Okay. Whatever. Just call me."

Then she said bye


and like two hours later she said night.

WHAT JUST HAPPENED
Dear god.
 

CarlitosWay

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Jokerlsk said:
Okay, yall hate on me, burn me, whatever.
Basically i straight up texted her, "Listen, it's pretty obvious I'm interested. I need to know if you are, or if I'm just wasting my time." and she sent me this

"It's complicated. I am, but i really right now don't feel like i could do it! Because everytime i have a boyfriend or whatever i can't focus on school and with it starting and all i just need to get back into things! But you're a really really nice guy adn sweet and funny and really fun. It's just a little much for me right now but that's not forever because you are a really good guy and i never ever want you to doubt that. Can we still be close and stuff??"

Then i said "Listen, i need to be hoenst with you. I'm not trying to an *******, but i'm not doing this whole best friend thing. I got too much to deal with as is, and I'm not looking for another friend."

Then she said, "Okay, well that's cool. Just know i'm always here if you need anything."

and i said, "Thanks but no thanks. If i'm close to you I'll always want more and that's just not happening."

and she said, "I just don't want things awkward between us."
and i said, "I'm gonna see you like 5 times all year. It won't matter."

and she said, "I'm so sorry it's like this. I wish it wasn't!"

and i said, "I don't regret getting to know you. Next time don't lead someone on."

and she said, "Yeah well you know what? I didn't think i was until i came to reality and knew i couldn't do this right now. And i want it to be different.

And i said, "Sorry it can't."

And she said, "Could you ever see this working again?"

And i said, "I"m not just an option. I'm a person. You can't just decide when and when not you want me. I honestly don't know."

and she said, "I know. and you're a much better person than me. I mean what i'm saying you just don't understand. I'm not ust playing around with you i want this to happen. You're just not understanding why i did this."

and i said, "I am understanding. And i care about you. I can't just be someone you use to make you feel better or smile. And even if you aren't playing around with me, that's how it feels. I deserve more."

and she said, "I know. I know. I know that's how it feels and i know you deserve a hell of a lot more than that. I honestly don't know if i could give you all you deserve but i know i could try. I want to. Can i have something? One thing. One day. I just need to get my head straight. Please jokerlsk?"

and i said, "Idk what you're asking for."

And she said, "Can I please have until tomorrow to think this whole thing over? Please?"

And i just said, "Okay. Whatever. Just call me."

Then she said bye


and like two hours later she said night.

WHAT JUST HAPPENED
Dear god.
oh god...after the first few lines I knew **** went down hill fast......MAN !!!!! Ok...we all make mistakes but please NEVER EVER DO THIS AGAIN in text none the less!!!!!

You have just barely met this chic and haven't even gotten real intimate with her and you're acting like this?!! It's not good bro seriously tone it down. I'd talk to her in person only not on the phone or in texts and let her know you're not as serious as you were coming off in the texts, make up some excuse. Say you're in no way trying to pressure her into anything, you're a busy guy to and want to take things slow and easy, you guys need to start all over. You just met her and bombarded her with all that, no bueno.

Play it cool and you might be able to rebound from all that, I honestly cringed a little bit reading all that !!!
 

Ice882

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Oh dear. I tried the "cut through all the bullsh1t" method once. I got the same "maybe" type response. Its a no, dude. Just a soft, friendly no.
 

omega05

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ah the method of telling a girl straight up that you're not trying to be her friend. how exactly is that suppose to work?
 

MikeBrown30

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Jokerlsk said:
Okay, yall hate on me, burn me, whatever.
Basically i straight up texted her, "Listen, it's pretty obvious I'm interested. I need to know if you are, or if I'm just wasting my time." and she sent me this

"It's complicated. I am, but i really right now don't feel like i could do it! Because everytime i have a boyfriend or whatever i can't focus on school and with it starting and all i just need to get back into things! But you're a really really nice guy adn sweet and funny and really fun. It's just a little much for me right now but that's not forever because you are a really good guy and i never ever want you to doubt that. Can we still be close and stuff??"

Then i said "Listen, i need to be hoenst with you. I'm not trying to an *******, but i'm not doing this whole best friend thing. I got too much to deal with as is, and I'm not looking for another friend."

Then she said, "Okay, well that's cool. Just know i'm always here if you need anything."

and i said, "Thanks but no thanks. If i'm close to you I'll always want more and that's just not happening."

and she said, "I just don't want things awkward between us."
and i said, "I'm gonna see you like 5 times all year. It won't matter."

and she said, "I'm so sorry it's like this. I wish it wasn't!"

and i said, "I don't regret getting to know you. Next time don't lead someone on."

and she said, "Yeah well you know what? I didn't think i was until i came to reality and knew i couldn't do this right now. And i want it to be different.

And i said, "Sorry it can't."

And she said, "Could you ever see this working again?"

And i said, "I"m not just an option. I'm a person. You can't just decide when and when not you want me. I honestly don't know."

and she said, "I know. and you're a much better person than me. I mean what i'm saying you just don't understand. I'm not ust playing around with you i want this to happen. You're just not understanding why i did this."

and i said, "I am understanding. And i care about you. I can't just be someone you use to make you feel better or smile. And even if you aren't playing around with me, that's how it feels. I deserve more."

and she said, "I know. I know. I know that's how it feels and i know you deserve a hell of a lot more than that. I honestly don't know if i could give you all you deserve but i know i could try. I want to. Can i have something? One thing. One day. I just need to get my head straight. Please jokerlsk?"

and i said, "Idk what you're asking for."

And she said, "Can I please have until tomorrow to think this whole thing over? Please?"

And i just said, "Okay. Whatever. Just call me."

Then she said bye


and like two hours later she said night.

WHAT JUST HAPPENED
Dear god.

"CRINGES"


AHHHHHHHHH. Why oh why did you send that first text? Never ever ever ever EVER EVER EVER EVER ask a girl how she feels. You were fine up until that point, now you have turned her off to the point of no return.
 

nismo-4

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MikeBrown30 said:
"CRINGES"


AHHHHHHHHH. Why oh why did you send that first text? Never ever ever ever EVER EVER EVER EVER ask a girl how she feels. You were fine up until that point, now you have turned her off to the point of no return.
I got the biggest laugh out of this post!!! :crackup:

We're not burning you, you're burning yourself.

Hasn't Judge Nismo-4 told you not to open your feelings to a girl? I have also told you...oh wait, after reading your case, it shows that she friendzoned you from the beginning, and beyond a reasonable doubt.

You should have left this girl as she's just not that into you...that way. If you wanted to pursue, then after "Please Jokerlsk" you should've just stopped, as it would've created some tension.

Judge Nismo-4 wants you to leave his courtroom.

Here's a parting gift for you.
http://www.theattractionforums.com/phone-text-game/67515-text-game-basics-braddock-savoy.html
 
Last edited:

HariPoter13

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I dont think you actually fvcked it up as much as it seems. Listen to carlitosway, just play it off cool.

But im not sure if youre strong enough on the inside to pull it off without making future outbursts like this one.

Godspeed
 

Asasione

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Jokerlsk said:
Okay, yall hate on me, burn me, whatever.
Basically i straight up texted her, "Listen, it's pretty obvious I'm interested. I need to know if you are, or if I'm just wasting my time." and she sent me this

"It's complicated. I am, but i really right now don't feel like i could do it! Because everytime i have a boyfriend or whatever i can't focus on school and with it starting and all i just need to get back into things! But you're a really really nice guy adn sweet and funny and really fun. It's just a little much for me right now but that's not forever because you are a really good guy and i never ever want you to doubt that. Can we still be close and stuff??"

Then i said "Listen, i need to be hoenst with you. I'm not trying to an *******, but i'm not doing this whole best friend thing. I got too much to deal with as is, and I'm not looking for another friend."

Then she said, "Okay, well that's cool. Just know i'm always here if you need anything."

and i said, "Thanks but no thanks. If i'm close to you I'll always want more and that's just not happening."

and she said, "I just don't want things awkward between us."
and i said, "I'm gonna see you like 5 times all year. It won't matter."

and she said, "I'm so sorry it's like this. I wish it wasn't!"

and i said, "I don't regret getting to know you. Next time don't lead someone on."

and she said, "Yeah well you know what? I didn't think i was until i came to reality and knew i couldn't do this right now. And i want it to be different.

And i said, "Sorry it can't."

And she said, "Could you ever see this working again?"

And i said, "I"m not just an option. I'm a person. You can't just decide when and when not you want me. I honestly don't know."

and she said, "I know. and you're a much better person than me. I mean what i'm saying you just don't understand. I'm not ust playing around with you i want this to happen. You're just not understanding why i did this."

and i said, "I am understanding. And i care about you. I can't just be someone you use to make you feel better or smile. And even if you aren't playing around with me, that's how it feels. I deserve more."

and she said, "I know. I know. I know that's how it feels and i know you deserve a hell of a lot more than that. I honestly don't know if i could give you all you deserve but i know i could try. I want to. Can i have something? One thing. One day. I just need to get my head straight. Please jokerlsk?"

and i said, "Idk what you're asking for."

And she said, "Can I please have until tomorrow to think this whole thing over? Please?"

And i just said, "Okay. Whatever. Just call me."

Then she said bye


and like two hours later she said night.

WHAT JUST HAPPENED
Dear god.
Did it ever occur to you that you were making a poor decision by having this conversation over text? You should've met up with her and found out whether she's interested in you through her actions and her response to your physical advances.

If you wanted her to feel sorry for you or empathize with your situation and your feelings then mission accomplished. If you want to increase her attraction your way off by having sappy discussions of how you deserve to be treated better.

If you do meet her again have fun with her, kino and escalate towards sex. Stop waiting for things to happen or worrying about making mistakes just have fun and move things in the direction you want.
 

Kailex

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Jokerlsk said:
But you're a really really nice guy adn sweet and funny and really fun. It's just a little much for me right now but that's not forever because you are a really good guy and i never ever want you to doubt that. Can we still be close and stuff??"
Know those italian mobster movies?

That part I quoted is pretty much the Kiss of Death, your swan song with her.
Right now, your best option is to use her for social proof. If she thinks you are such a "nice guy" then she wouldn't mind introducing you to a few of her fine, female friends.

Other than that, her goose for you has been cooked.

Just learn from this so you won't do it again.
Good luck, Joker.
 

Iceberg

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Jokerlsk said:
Okay, yall hate on me, burn me, whatever.
Basically i straight up texted her, "Listen, it's pretty obvious I'm interested. I need to know if you are, or if I'm just wasting my time." and she sent me this

What other kind of response did you expect from her? You laid out your feelings for her via text...BEFORE dating....BEFORE banging.

Hell, if this girl did agree to go on a date with you, she'd feel like you were expecting an immediate relationship. You showed all your cards, and now you have none left to play.

If you played it cool, asked her to hang out alone some night, and moved in for a kiss, you'd have a chance. Saying "I like you. Do you like me?" Just puts pressure on the girl. And who wants that?

Never do that again.
 

CarlitosWay

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Kailex said:
Know those italian mobster movies?

That part I quoted is pretty much the Kiss of Death, your swan song with her.
Right now, your best option is to use her for social proof. If she thinks you are such a "nice guy" then she wouldn't mind introducing you to a few of her fine, female friends.

Other than that, her goose for you has been cooked.

Just learn from this so you won't do it again.
Good luck, Joker.
Sadly 90% chance this will be the case......and unless you have some damn good game with very good lucks you're not getting out of this one.
 

JustLurk

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Jokerlsk said:
What's funny is that it worked.
More power to you. You didn't **** around, that's good. You were sort of touchy-feely way too soon, and that's bad.

EDIT: There's a guide with some hints on texting well, only about 82 pages I saw somewhere on seducton database, maybe you could check that out for next time.
 

Voice

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Jokerlsk said:
What's funny is that it worked.
To be honest, I did something very similar to you. I did it over text just like you and I seemed to make every mistake in the book according to the 'DJs' here. And also just like you all the 'DJs' on this board told me it was over and that they 'cringed' at my texts and told me how awful I did. You can read it here: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=174163

You know what? It really didn't mean sh*t. That girl liked me even more so after my 'mistake' and still does to this day. She dropped her lame ass boyfriend and I'm pursuing her right now. I lost a lot of respect for people on this board after that. Actually the only thing I thought you may have made a mistake is when you told her straight up you liked her. After that I felt like you were very strong.

It just comes to show that not everything is written in stone and it's ok to make a mistake every now and then. As long as you have enough social value everything is going to be fine. Most likely, one mistake is going to ruin everything, except maybe if the girl you're dealing with is a psycho b*tch.

This girl seems to really like you and you seem young, I think everything will be fine.
 
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