"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Help me. I feel so grumpy and down

moneyisking

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I feel so down and grumpy and angry that I can't do anything. I can't talk to girls, dudes, even to ****ing bacteria. It's a pinnacle of my depression and it just don't seem like fun anymore. I don't know what the fvck I can do to get out of it. Please help, I just made a hole on my wall, and this really sucks.

I am sure at least one of you great DJs have been where I am right now; angry and mad and depressed that can't even talk to anyone. Everyone passes the phase. What did you do? Give me your guidance. How can I make this fun when it is fvcking excruciating and frustrating.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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TizZle

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Hang out with friends, do things that make you happy like hobbies, focus on yourself, etc. get your self esteem up.

What made you this way by the way?
 

moneyisking

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TizZle said:
Hang out with friends, do things that make you happy like hobbies, focus on yourself, etc. get your self esteem up.

What made you this way by the way?
trying and trying, yet not getting any results, mainly, asking girls out yet always flaking. I mean, I always hear you skilled DJs doing it so easily, but I can't even hook up one normal chick. Is something wrong with me, or what. Plus I read Weapon of Mass Seduction, Book of Pook, etc etc and they seem like they are so naturally happy guys, but I seem so bitter. I don't understand what is wrong with all this, I just feel mad and depressed. Thanks for the advice. I should find things I want to do right now, which is go grab a drink, but since I don't have car, got to find a buddy.
 

women haze

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Too bad you don't live in MD I'd buy you a drink.

I know how you feel Brother, because I am at that same place...Atleast you are trying and failing which is a whole lot better than not trying at all. I can't even score a girl because I feel I have a lack of Charisma....I can't make em laugh if I jumped in a clown suit hopping over mini cars man.

Like the poster said above hang out with friends, do thinks that you wanna do that makes you feel complete. You don't need a girl for that....I know how you feel.
 

Deadly_Ripped

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If you feel like your emotional state is entirely inevitable, and you have tried on your own several times to snap yourself out of these phases, then you may want to seek professional help.

I say this with a very important caveat: Not all therapists and psychiatrists are made equal. You may have to doctor shop in order to find one who listens AND provides insightful advice. Some doctors throw pills at you, and others listen without providing feedback to your ramblingse while collecting your weekly paycheck. You need to be ACTIVE in your own happiness. It may seem impossible that anything could stop the cycle, but it can be stopped with time.

Just do something... anything... anything other than sitting in one place (literally and metaphorically).
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Igetit!

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moneyisking said:
I am sure at least one of you great DJs have been where I am right now; angry and mad and depressed that can't even talk to anyone. Everyone passes the phase. What did you do? Give me your guidance. How can I make this fun when it is fvcking excruciating and frustrating.
Yeah,I know what you're talking about.

I've DEFINATELY been there before.

I've been in situations where it's like rejection after rejection after rejection.

It gets to the point where it's like,"What's the use?".


What helped me? Well,I did was I got to the point where I got desperate and I simply didn't care anymore.



After giving up and being alone for a while,what happened was all the things I knew I could potentially face approaching women no longer mattered.



The pain of loneliness while seeing other guys dating OUTWEIGHED getting rejected or embarassment.




But I decided to go back out into the field with an "ace" up my sleeve.



I decided to do the "opposite" of what I would normally do.


I made up in my mind that from now on when it comes to women:"up" is down,"left" is right,"good" is bad.


If there was something I thought may make a girl like me,I threw it away,and it there was something I thought would get me slapped by a girl,that's what I said to her.



For example:Normally if I asked a girl out and she told me she had a boyfriend,I'd be like,"Oh,you have a boyfriend? That's cool. Oh well,it was nice meeting you".


Then I'd move on



But one day,I decided to try something different. So the next time I apporached a girl and got the boyfriend line,here's what went down...


Me:You don't have a ring on your finger. Good. so,when are we going out?

her:I have a boyfriend.

me:Look,I didn't ask you if you had a boyfriend,I ASKED YOU when are we going out?

her:Well...I'm going to (name of a club) tonight.



That was the first time I had ever done that. And I was SHOCKED.


I was sooo shocked in fact,that it knocked me back into "AFC mode",and I screwed up the interaction.



Even though I didn't get the date,I got something MORE VALUABLE.



I learned to branch out,experiement. If what you've been doing for the past 6 months has produced results you don't want ,then TRY SOMETHING ELSE





Go against what you normally think,what you feel comfortable with.




You'd be surprised at what kind of results you get.
 

DonJuan11

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moneyisking said:
trying and trying, yet not getting any results, mainly, asking girls out yet always flaking.

You are coming off too strong or too creepy. They wouldn't flaking on you if you knew the hottest clubs in town or had a Porsche. The point is you have to GIVE a girl something to GET SOMETHING IN RETURN.

I mean, I always hear you skilled DJs doing it so easily, but I can't even hook up one normal chick. Is something wrong with me, or what. Plus I read Weapon of Mass Seduction, Book of Pook, etc etc and they seem like they are so naturally happy guys, but I seem so bitter. I don't understand what is wrong with all this, I just feel mad and depressed.

You are so focused on yourself. That's what's wrong with this generation, they see MTV, videos, rich young celebrities, they think and want everything to happen instantly. You have to work for it. You have to go out there and study what you are doing wrong, get rejected, get accepted. Reading 1000 Books of whoever the heck Pook is won't help you as much as first hand experience. If you knew how to play guitar like Slash, or knew how to Salsa dance, or could cook your ass off, or knew half the city, these girls wouldn't flake, they would give you best sex you could imagine. What do you do? What can offer a girl to get her excited? Happy? Make her laugh?


Thanks for the advice. I should find things I want to do right now, which is go grab a drink, but since I don't have car,

Why don't you have a car?

got to find a buddy.
Again, I sound like a broken record, focus on the GIRL. Not on yourself.
 

moneyisking

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DonJuan11 said:
Again, I sound like a broken record, focus on the GIRL. Not on yourself.
well, don't have a car b/c I currently have minimum wage job as a full time college student, and unlike my older brother, my parents would not buy me a ride, even though my brother crashed his car 2yrs ago and is now currently owing a motorcycle AND a car which I think is a bull shyt.

Anyways, I am not sure what you meant when you told me to focus on girls. I thought man is to focus on himself not on girls. What did you mean by focus on girls not me?
 

Ambition Now

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When interacting with a girl, the focus should be on her... whats she says, what she do, her body language, her reactions... thats all info you will use in your favour.

Dont be in your mind worried if you are doing something wrong, if your body language is right or anything like that.

Besides that, when NOT interacting with them, you should focus on your own life, like working to achieve your goals, having fun, hobbies...
 
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