"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Help me GET THIS GIRL! (Text game)

spax

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Hey guys,

I met this girl at university about 1.5 years ago. She is really cute, and we were sitting next to each other in a lecture once, so I had a brief chat with her. At the end, I told her to add me on Facebook, and she did later that day.

I was interested in her, but I got a girlfriend around the same time, so I couldn't be bothered pursuing her. I'd see her around uni, but I would just ignore her due to general laziness.

Well, the girlfriend is gone now, and she is now available.

I messaged her on a facebook the other day.


"Hey HB8,

How have you been? Are you still *insert university*? I'm in my last semester right now.

spax"

She replied

"Hey spax,

Yeah, still at *insert university" doing *insert course*. How is your last semester going."


I sent back the next day.

"Good stuff. Yeah university is going pretty well. Hey listen, would love to catch up with you, so shoot me your number and ill keep in touch x"

She replied the next day

"Sounds good! My number is ########"

OK guys,

So whats the next step?

I haven't spoken to her in ages, and she doesn't have my number in her phone yet, so I don't think I can call right away.

I feel like I need to build rapport first by some casual texting because it has been 1.5 years since I last spoke to her.

What should I message her?

Im thinking "Hey, its spax. How has you weekend been? Keeping out of trouble? x"

Or one of my friends suggested:

"Hey HB8, are you into casual text? ;) - spax"

or I just found online

"Hey [Hot Babe's name here], this is [hot guy's name here]- and this is my number. Save it, because it's the most important one you will ever get. :)

Thoughts?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Krueg

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Dont text her, call her. Tell her your gonna play basketball on (whatever day) and you were just calling to see if she would like to join you.

If she says no and doesnt counter offer then shes not interested and you next her. You only want to date girls who say YES to your dates. Or else you'll end up playing games that lead no where.

-DJ Krueg
 

spax

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Krueg said:
Dont text her, call her. Tell her your gonna play basketball on (whatever day) and you were just calling to see if she would like to join you.

If she says no and doesnt counter offer then shes not interested and you next her. You only want to date girls who say YES to your dates. Or else you'll end up playing games that lead no where.

-DJ Krueg
We have had such little interaction though, it would seem stupid to be so direct. Ill call her, and she will be like "Who is this?" or not even answer since she wont recognize the number. I need to text something first to get some small rapport going and so she is familiar with me and my number.
 

Krueg

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spax said:
We have had such little interaction though, it would seem stupid to be so direct. Ill call her, and she will be like "Who is this?" or not even answer since she wont recognize the number. I need to text something first to get some small rapport going and so she is familiar with me and my number.
If your texting each other already she should know who you are. When you call her, tell her its you! Not many guys have the balls anymore to approach or simply pick up the phone and call her. Think about guys in the 50's. There was no cell phones, e-mail and ect. They had to approach or just call a girl up.
It doesnt have to be scientific. You dont ask, you'll never know, wait too long and you get friend-zoned.
 

spax

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We aren't texting yet. I sent those messages on FB. She doesnt have my number in her phone yet.

To get it in there, Im thinking of texting:

"Hey [Hot Babe's name here], this is [hot guy's name here]- and this is my number. Save it, because it's the most important one you will ever get. :) "
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Krueg

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She gave you her number, fvckin call her man! Are you scared to call her??

Your having a Nice Guy mindset of trying to be polite, when you should be taking action!

P.S. If she doesnt answer, dont leave a message. Wait and try later.
 

spax

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Another one of my friends is telling me to be calm casual and just SMS her:

"Hey let me know when you are free this week so we can do something.."
 

Krueg

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spax said:
Another one of my friends is telling me to be calm casual and just SMS her:

"Hey let me know when you are free this week so we can do something.."
So, you're putting the power in her hands by giving her the choice of; If and when she's free? You should be taking the lead, not her! Read the Bible!
 

spax

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Krueg said:
So, you're putting the power in her hands by giving her the choice of; If and when she's free? You should be taking the lead, not her! Read the Bible!
I know. My fuarking friend who gets lots of ***** insists I keep it really casual to not pressure her.
 

PapiChulo

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Bottom line is that regardless of the type of communication you use she will reject you anyway if the interest is low. Don't stress about it, and don't over think it. The only thing about calling is that it gets you an opportunity to actually increase attraction, and perhaps stand out from the rest of men contacting her. Tell her, you are planning to do something and she can join you if she wants- that's pretty casual. Ideally you have to make her to reach out for a date ; )
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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spax

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Im thinking with just going with

" Guess who :p "
 

PrettyBoyAJ

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Send her another message

Ok got it, Been busy lately with this being my last semester. My number is ###-###-####, Call me on Monday and we will set something up for the week once my schedule slows down
If she calls you she is interested. Give the hey how are you doing, hows the semester going and TELL her to meet up with you Tuesday or Wednesday. Make it short and to the point.

Be bold. Show her your confident in yourself.
 

PapiChulo

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99% of women never call first, even if there is interest.
 

spax

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Any ideas?

Thinking of going with just -

"Guess who :p"
 

WorkingDJ

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Are you just ignoring all the advice given on purpose?
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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spax

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oh lawd.

texted "Guess who :p" and no response 3 hours later.

I dun goofed.
 

the_stig

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Your first text of "hey its spax how's your weekend been" would have done the trick, but you let all this SS material get to your head and started over thinking. Let things happen naturally, as long as its within reason and you dont come off as needy, you'll do fine.

Now you're in a pickle and it will be hard to recover if she doesn't answer and you text a second time.
 

youngmack

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Your an A$$hole, you continued and purposely ignored the advice given to you and all you kept saying was "im thinking with just going with guess who :p" and then you text her that and now you have no response.... Good for you
 

PrettyBoyAJ

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Damn Jax, I properly laced you with some good game and you couldn't even follow through. The action you did portrayed no confidence on your part. No confidence whatsoever so what is the difference between you and the other 100 guys who want to hook up with this girl?

To Papichulo-

Over 90% of girls interested in you will call you first. Why waste your valuable time texting and calling a woman who could have just gave you her number for her ego to be stroked? If she calls your or texts you first that shows that she is interested and you do not have to waste valuable time.
 

Nexus Polaris

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Intent plus freedom from outcome, my friend. You're already too worried about what she's going to say. Stop trying to control her response. It's going to make you seem weird and calculating, and you're more likely to drive her away. This was a big problem for me the first year I started doing this. And I think a lot of that came from the fact that pickup tactics were really popular at the time. Those things are great training wheels for getting started once you've got your inner core issues handled, but they're terrible for a newbie. I'm not sure where you are in your development, but if you're still asking for step by step instructions of what to do, you've probably still got some work to do. I used to post these same kinds of things on here before I started seriously working on my "inner game" issues. When you fix those inner core issues first, all of these logistical problems will solve themselves. You'll see what I mean. You'll automatically know what to do.

For this interaction, here's what I'd recommend. Just shoot from the hip and say whatever you honestly think/feel. The most important thing here is to be genuine and not try too hard to be smooth. Don't worry about saying the "right thing." It's like Mr. Miyagi says to Daniel in the Karate Kid when they are trimming bonsai trees. Daniel asks how he will know if he's doing it right and Mr. Miyagi says, "If come from inside you..... ALWAYS right one." Same concept here. Trust me on this.

Don't worry about how she's going to take it. Just focus on what you want and expressing it honestly. When you do this frequently, you will strengthen it like a muscle. And this is what will ultimately draw women to you like moths to a flame. Nothing attracts women like bold sincerity. Because most people don't have the balls to do it. So it will set you apart BIG TIME. But you have to develop it. It doesn't happen over night. Look at this girl as practice. Don't be worried about "getting her." Just focus on getting better at what you're doing. I promise you it will pay off big in the long run.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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