loving
Senior Don Juan
I don't know what kind of advice I want to hear for this, but I hope that the right ones come along for this.
A problem I have been having for a very long time, is that I have not been able to get the motivation up to meet new people.
It hasn't really been as big a problem until now. I am an extrovert by nature, and so I get energy from other people. I went to a small highschool, so there wasn't really much pull from the energy that I felt from others.
Now, entering university, I feel a lot more energy. I don't know if its from the physical place, but I presume it's from the people there, because I have a desire to go and meet new ones - girls and guys (but moreso girls).
But I don't.
Basically, I think I am socially inferior. I take a long time to open up, when I do open up though I'm always making jokes and people are always laughing, and I'm having a good time - but it takes a long time, and its hard especially, even if there is 1 new person around me.
I thought it over tonight, and for some reason, it has never been clearer to me: it seems to me why I don't want to approach, is because I don't want to be embarrassed. I think I will be embarrassed, either directly - in the situation, where it is made obvious to me either by how I sense/feel what embarrassing thing I've said, or others make fun of me, or embarrassed by proxy, whereby regardless of whether I notice the embarrassing thing that happened, people will go and talk about it behind my back, focusing on the worst of it and making their minds about me - both of which I think will hinder me in future interactions, and I just don't want to risk it.
When I interact with people I barely know, I feel embarrassed to be saying the stupid pointless **** that I do and have all the awkward pauses that happens. Then I go inside my head and (abstractly, don't have thoughts but rather quick comparative images/feelings) of people who show better chemistry than me and these people or this person I'm with, having a good time, and feel worse that I can't do that.
I don't think that last bit is the only problem though, because I'm fairly awkward from the start. And for those reasons, I don't go and meet new people.
I've heard the advice "just do it". I've heard the advice "just forget about all that". And I think, sure, it may be valid, but I can't seem to apply just those principles to myself - like I said, I have a hard time finding the motivation to go and talk to people.
I hope reading this, some of you can help me move past this block in getting what I want.
A problem I have been having for a very long time, is that I have not been able to get the motivation up to meet new people.
It hasn't really been as big a problem until now. I am an extrovert by nature, and so I get energy from other people. I went to a small highschool, so there wasn't really much pull from the energy that I felt from others.
Now, entering university, I feel a lot more energy. I don't know if its from the physical place, but I presume it's from the people there, because I have a desire to go and meet new ones - girls and guys (but moreso girls).
But I don't.
Basically, I think I am socially inferior. I take a long time to open up, when I do open up though I'm always making jokes and people are always laughing, and I'm having a good time - but it takes a long time, and its hard especially, even if there is 1 new person around me.
I thought it over tonight, and for some reason, it has never been clearer to me: it seems to me why I don't want to approach, is because I don't want to be embarrassed. I think I will be embarrassed, either directly - in the situation, where it is made obvious to me either by how I sense/feel what embarrassing thing I've said, or others make fun of me, or embarrassed by proxy, whereby regardless of whether I notice the embarrassing thing that happened, people will go and talk about it behind my back, focusing on the worst of it and making their minds about me - both of which I think will hinder me in future interactions, and I just don't want to risk it.
When I interact with people I barely know, I feel embarrassed to be saying the stupid pointless **** that I do and have all the awkward pauses that happens. Then I go inside my head and (abstractly, don't have thoughts but rather quick comparative images/feelings) of people who show better chemistry than me and these people or this person I'm with, having a good time, and feel worse that I can't do that.
I don't think that last bit is the only problem though, because I'm fairly awkward from the start. And for those reasons, I don't go and meet new people.
I've heard the advice "just do it". I've heard the advice "just forget about all that". And I think, sure, it may be valid, but I can't seem to apply just those principles to myself - like I said, I have a hard time finding the motivation to go and talk to people.
I hope reading this, some of you can help me move past this block in getting what I want.