"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Help me find my sticking point please

Billy_Badass

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Heres the deal. I have read the dj bible, and know the basics, and have been putting them to use in the field for approaches for a little while now. But something happens that puts me in the friend zone with any girl I actually have some kind of "more then physical" attraction towards. I have been good about oneitus, I always get at least a couple of numbers in order to insure that I am not stuck thinking about just one girl. I know how to use kino, I am confident, fairly well dressed, funny, and can use a bit of c&f here and there.

But something always happens. I cannot for the life of me find out what it is, but I get thrown uncontrollably into the friend zone anytime I meet a girl that is worth a damn. I don't know what to do, but I must confess that sometimes it frustrates me. Does anyone else have this problem? I know this is a bit vague, but I could really use some pointers here, as I am a total dating novice.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Wiesman44

Master Don Juan
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your probably too shy, and don't have a go-getter personality. If you know of any really good salesmen, watch how they work. Their personalities are what make them succeed. THe dating game is very similar. its all in your personality. IF she sees that you dont take what you want, or if you're too shy, or just aren't aggressive enough, you will fail.

If you dont have the, "i dont give a fuvk, i'm going to kiss her" mentality, you might not succeed as much as they next guy.
 

organizedconfusion

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you're probaly treating them like 'friends' and not someone you want to fvck...also,there are subtle moments where a girl will test you to see if you are a friend or if there is sexual attraction and she may continually test you-once she sees you as only a friend ,it may be close to impossible to see you otherwise...little moments where your eyes may lock,like if you are out with her taking her somewhere -how you respond naturally will determine if you are seen as lover or friend... all the little things determine this type of stuff- you HAVE to be able to see it, or you may be missing your chance..my only advice is to watch alot of movies/tv shows where sexual attraction is taking place..alot of them do a good job of recreating attraction...there is a new making the video on MTV with nick lache and vanessa manilo (hot!) watch how she acts,her tonality,her body language and how she reacts to and responds to nick on the show..obvious signals of attraction.You must learn how to correctly project obvious signals of attraction subtly NOT theatricaly- and also reconize them also.Everything you were doing was most likely communicating 'freindly guy' not sexy guy...

-sarge on..
 

Billy_Badass

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hmm... Its not so much fear of making a move. I have no problem taking the risk of rejection because even for some of the best DJS... its gonna happen. I have very thick skin, but I guess it still bothers me that I am not a little more successful. I am a bit shy sometimes, but I have overcome a big part of that. I can talk to girls on the street on a regular basis without feeling nervousness, even if they look good. I dunno. I think it is something more subtle then what yall have suggested, but I will still take heed of what you have said. Thanks for the replys! It may just be something as simple as the way I converse with them. I can carry a convo, but I may not be touching them at the emotional level enough. I will reread the bible and see if thats my problem.
 
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