Help me destroy my ego

[Sanity_Cleaver]

Hey guys, ive got a bit of a strange request here.

Now i've seen a few posts about this recently, mainly Jariel's recent one over in the Tips forum, but as with anyone whos studied and mucked about with this DJ stuff for long enough i've come to the conclusion that self esteem sucks.

Im talking about ego here, ego-made-self-esteem. That thing that tells you you're good, great and worth it, the thing that says 'you're the catch'.
Yeah well i say it blows goats.

Sure its great to feel good and know youre the bomb, but the higher you fly the further you fall. For so long i would be on an almighty ego trip for so and so days, and then all of a sudden CRASH. WIPE-OUT. All your balls just suddenly go away and dont come back for what feels like ages. You avoid that honey bunny on the streets when the week before you wouldve gone up to her and snapped up her number. You sit in the corner at social events and as soon as someone talks to you an alarm bell goes off 'oh **** a persons talking to me!'. Or worse you try to confident and funny and outgoing when you dont feel like it at all. You know the feeling. Its just a whole series of ups and downs, a wild, stupid pointless rolelrcoaster.
I had no idea why this was, but its been with me from the very day i woke up and said to myself 'Right i'm going to learn how to score with the ladies'
And you know what? IT SUCKS C0CK!!

My eyes got opened to why this was by the following essay:
http://www.geocities.com/forbidden_area/esteem.html
- and a few good posts here and there, from those of us wise enough to know having an ego sucks.

Yeah sometimes you do feel really good having big fat self esteem- but inevitably its going to fluctuate- and you end up feeling really bad. Ive noticed that when i find myself feeling really good natrually its when i dont care, and when i feel my absolute best i dont care about MYSELF- infact i dont even think about myself at all. That frame of mind where 'ooh she seems into me' is replaced by 'ooh shes nice and friendly'

Basically, i dont want to care. I dont want to have a good self-image, i want to have no-self image. Every one of us is self-obsessed and im convinced that is not a healthy thing.

So this is a cry out to anyone who has actually passed over all this bull**** and acheived that state.
I WANT TO KNOW HOW YOU DID IT

I dont want to think about myself anymore. At all. Personal issues die with neglect. So to those who this applies to, please enlighten me as to how.

 

[JonJack]

If you're not going to think about yourself, then what are you going to think about? If you're not going to be obsessed about yourself, then what are you going to be obsessed about?

In order for you to actually follow through with what you're saying, you'll have to start living your life according to the will of others. To give yourself totally to someone else is to live a life with absolutely no self esteem or self image. I doubt you'll be capable of such things.

This is you you're talking about here man. Think hard about it first before you jump to conclusions.

 

[check_mate_kid_uk]

hey just listen up a second, your ego is very important, it is your self esteem! These fluctuations you have are total normal, its just changes to your mood/mind caused by the outside world (which is just a catalist)

I can asure you with out your ego you will have no self esteem and will not be able to aproch any girls at all.

ego=selfesteem remember that so basicly with uot na ego your liefe would be stable but you know those downs you said you hate, you will be living at that levle the whole time. i really dont think thats what you want mate.

 

[ScrewIt]

interesting post...

I have a friend over the past 2 weeks i've noticed a drastic change in him. He's in an art major and knows for sure he's a better artist than anyone else in his class, cause he sees their work. For sure he has overly high self-esteem cause of this. An inflated ego? sometimes.

Actually he's more under the category of pompous, as he likes to claim. The other night i was out with him and his friend, who happens to be wise for his age. He told him that he's still lacking true confidence. And i do agree.

IMO, Confidence is something that's gained through experience. Having overly high self-esteem does not necessarily = true confidence. It's temporary as someone said earlier, so you can never be sure of where your confidence levels are.

But i suppose it's open for debate....

 

[Visceral]

The problem lies not with your ego itself, but arises when your ego is dependent on external factors that you can't control.

When your ego gets its strength from genuine feelings of well-being and worth, there's nothing wrong with that; you are happy and confident no matter what happens.

However, when your ego-strength is based on external things, like how many girls you've slept with, how big your muscles are, or how much money you make, that's when the trouble starts.

You turn into the bad kind of jerk because you have to brag, flaunt, and belittle in order to feel good about yourself ... and the minute you run into someone who scores more, lifts more, or earns more than you, your ego takes that horrible beating you mentioned.

A guy called "A-Unit" has written a lot of posts about the Ego; perhaps you can get more in-depth information from them.

 

[Jake-inator]

To overcome self-esteem-related anxiety and inhibition, recognize that your choice is not between self-esteem and self-condemnation. Your choice, rather, is between establishing an overall self-image and establishing no self-image. View your external actions and traits as desirable or undesirable, but abstain from esteeming or damning yourself as a whole.

The anwser is in the article you posted.
It seems hard, but you have to push yourself. Start thinking about enjoying your own life, and not caring what other people think of you.
Start doing your own things and don't follow the crowd.

On a side note: This is a very good article. It's a psychological explanation for everything that is in the DJ Bible.
I move to add it to the collection...

 

[Golden Arms]

I recommend reading some books on Zen Buddhims, like a previous poster mentioned Alan Watts is one of the authors