Help me choose

[ATX1001]

Been wrestling with a "nice" problem to have for about a month now.

I’ve been with a 41yo HB9 (yes, there is such a thing!) for about 8-9 months. I love her, she loves me. She was married for 20 years and has said she didn’t know what love was until she met me. She has an awesome body and very pretty face, is Lebanese (I love that middle eastern look) and owns her own house. Bad points are 4 kids (15,13,10,8) that are a f*cking handful, she cheated for 5 years out of the 20 of her marriage, and no job – so she requires support (the ex husband makes no money). She love the gym and we often used to work out together.

I’ve broken it off with the 9 for now and have been seeing a 38yo “5” (and that rating might even be being a bit kind). She has 2 kids (8,10), is highly educated and extremely intelligent (she says 180+ IQ and I believe her). She has never cheated and is loyal. She earns more than me – approx 250k (I earn 180k) so we could leave a damn good life together. I work with her (potential mistake, I know). She loves cooking and baking and we understand each other well and connect on an intellectual level. Bad points are the looks and she also has a genetic disorder (CMT disease) that affects her balance. The effects are minimal now but it could mean that she eventually ends up in a wheelchair later in life.

Both women are “50’s housewives” and will cook, clean, take care of their men, etc. Sex is awesome with both, but the 5 is willing to do waaay more stuff – loves to suck c*ck, higher sex drive than me. The 9 will suck it and swallow but only if she’s in the mood. Both do anal but the 5 loves anal (and can *** from it). The 5 has been with approx 4-5 people from what I can tell, the 9 claims about the same but she also claims that when a dude stuck his c*ck in her it “didn’t count because he didn’t ***”.

Stupidly, I love the 9. I might be able to learn to love the 5, but probably not as much – well, that’s the way it feels right now. The 9 would take me back in a heartbeat I’m sure. I get on really well with both, but on different levels. My mind says the 5, my heart and c*ck says the 9..

Which way would you jump? (or would you run from both?)

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear ATX,
"Which way would you jump? (or would you run from both?)".....Bradd beat me to it.....Screw both of them,because of the kids,they probably have little choice....The Lebanese Girl will leave first....Women who work out are such fun but there are two Non Sequiters...The Kids and her previous cheating,the First will drive you crazy,I had five I know what I am talking about....As to the second...Most Women DON'T cheat,but of those who do,even fewer do it just the once....
So why keep the other Bird in Tow?....because she is your insurance against being needy,when Miss Beirut spits her dummy....Mate,four kids are no joke,your own are bad enough,this crew will have you walking up the Wall!....Tread carefully Brother!

 

[scrouds]

Bang them both while you look for a chick with less baggage.

 

[The Duke]

Run Forest Run.

 

[zekko]

They both sound like losers to me.

 

[ATX1001]

They both sound like losers to me.

Well, that's one way to look at it.

I've been continuing to smash the 9 but not that often, just came back from her place now. I could probably continue a little while longer but she knows I'm pretty much using her at this point and without any further commitment she will put a stop to it very soon. She already has a string of guys blowing up her phone..

I'm going to go golddigger mode for a minute and say that finding a woman who earns as high as the 5 is almost impossible - even more impossible than keeping a 10. Looks fade over time so the 9 won't be a 9 forever and I'm not really the playboy type of banging multiple women without an emotional connection.

I guess I'm trying to talk myself into going for the 5..

 

[Uberguy]

You should do whatever you think is best. But you sound like you're selling yourself short. Why not let both of them move on with their lives while you find yourself a 10? And if you're not good enough for a 10 right now, do whatever it takes to make yourself worthy of one.

 

[Boilermaker]

They both sound like losers to me.

It's easy to judge when it's not your girl, isn't it?

I wouldn't expect such an assholish remark from you.

So your young partner who lives with a 50-something year old man who won't even bother to marry her, is a winner in your

opinion? Has she achieved her dreams? Has she ever wanted kids? A ceremony? .... unless you are dating a "guy", I am

pretty sure there are answers to these questions.

Just like what Carlin says,

"Stuff" becomes "people's sh!t" when it doesn't belong to you.

 

[Jitterbug]

You're a 37 y.o guy making 180K in Melbourne in our current financial climate.

Mate, you can do way better than both of those women. I know the market. You can go way younger and less baggage.

 

[bluenorther]

Psychos are always the most interesting and exciting. Go with the one who's less exciting.

 

[zekko]

Boilermaker, perhaps "losers" is too strong a word, but what I'm basing this off of is that the OP doesn't really sound like he's satisfied with either one of them.

That plus the number of children they have, the 9 is a cheater (what a surprise), and the 5's looks are a little lacking, even if you're someone who doesn't make looks a big priority. You want to be able to be at least proud of your girl when you walk down the street with her.

If the OP is happy with the 5, then he should go for her. What we say here on SoSuave shouldn't make any difference one way or the other. It's what he wants is what matters. Problem is, it doesn't sound like he likes the 5 that well, or he wouldn't still be banging the 9, and wouldn't be questioning it on this forum.

By the way, my girlfriend is infertile. And who is this 50 year old she's living with? If I find out who he is, I'll give him a thrashing!

 

[Zarky]

I'm not sure I've earned 180K in my entire life.

Anyway, what's all this about "choosing" "one" chick? That's so 20th century. The 21st century is all about MLTRs with as many chicks as you can stand.

 

[flashpoint]

have been seeing a 38yo “5” (and that rating might even be being a bit kind). ....
Stupidly, I love the 9. I might be able to learn to love the 5, but probably not as much

case closed.

unless ....

– (or would you run from both?)

because of baggage. but then ...

I love her, she loves me. She was married for 20 years and has said she didn’t know what love was until she met me. She has an awesome body and very pretty face, is Lebanese (I love that middle eastern look) and owns her own house.

and good luck to find a chic with no baggage in that age zone.

 

[SecondHalf]

ATX, perhaps your tone is ... posturing a bit, but you sound a little "meh!" about either of them.
If these were the last to skirts on earth, I would understand your little conundrum, but there are more of 'em out there!

If there is one thing I've learned so far, is never settle! You can get be hurt/disappointed even by the ones you settled for!

If you're going to risk your heart to the fire, risk it with a star!!!

SH

 

[Desdinova]

You're a 37 y.o guy making 180K in Melbourne in our current financial climate.

Mate, you can do way better than both of those women. I know the market. You can go way younger and less baggage.

I have to agree 100%. Both of these women have traits that would disqualify them from being LTR material - at least for me. Four kids under 18? Age 41? Previously married? Dating this woman is like wearing someone else's underwear with skid marks all over them.

Your second choice... Two kids and ugly? Her paycheck can fix both of those problems, but it doesn't sound like she's going to be doing that.

I'm not seeing anything here that could be considered 'quality'. You'd be a fool to settle down with either of them. Keep looking. Find a nice looking 25 year old with no kids and less baggage.

Might I ask... Why do you feel the need to settle down so quickly?

 

[SecondHalf]

Dating this woman is like wearing someone else's underwear with skid marks all over them.

Very funny, first laugh of the day!

SH

 

[Colossus]

I hear the sound of settling....


ATX I dont know what you are looking for at this stage in your life, but I do know that you will NEVER be truly happy with a woman you arent physically attracted to from the get-go. I also know that this HB9 has LOADS of baggage. I'm not sure you have anything to gain by being with her long-term. 4 kids??? Good Lord, mate.

Listen, I've been with a lot of women with whom the sex was fantastic. But good sex does not equate to a good relationship....it's just good sex. Just based on your stats alone--37, single, high-earner, assuming you are in good shape and well-dressed---man you could get WAY younger and fresher girls. I posted this in another thread but these should be your base criteria:

Never married
No kids
<10 sexual partners
30 or younger


Also, you probably know this on a gut level, but if you are dithering between two girls, you don't truly want either.

 

[ATX1001]

Also, you probably know this on a gut level, but if you are dithering between two girls, you don't truly want either.

This has probably resonated with me the most in this thread, thanks.

Thanks for the feedback everybody, I guess I just need to get out there more and open up the options a bit.