Help me become a MAN - My Journey

[Yorkex]

To cut things short I dated a BPD girl for 3 years and almost lost myself. I finally got the courage to break it off and put her in NC. After been here I started to read up on BPD and everything started to makes sense , this ***** almost sucks the life out of me... I stopped enjoying things I used to love doing , became beta and people pleaser.

Today I made a commitment to take EVERYTHING I lost back. She started dating 3 weeks after a 3 year relationship and I'm pretty sure they are in a relationship now. I can't lie it hurt me for a while even though I was surrounded by girls. But now I want to CHANGE everything. The key part is I'm doing this NOT to get back with her but to benefit my self as a man.

Currently -
21 years old
Got into Electrician Apprentice this year ( Good pay now which increases in the future) So career is check.
I go to the gym for soccer and basketball about 3 days of the week.
I deleted my instagram , snap chat and currently only using Facebook and Twitter but I rarely post anything ...this was because I stayed up looking through my tweets/post since been with this girl and ALMOST EVERYTHING became beta posts and attention seeking posts.

I cut contacts with friends that brought nothing to the table , my close friends are not 3 old times friends and work crew members.

My goal : To become a MAN not another ball with money.

I need all the tips and experiences you guys have for me and I will updated thus thread as I apply them to real life.
Anything from self esteem boosters , books , how to speak and become a MAN.
I have set a goal of buying a house in the next 2-3 years , most of my paycheck when I start work in January will be going to my saving as I live with a single mother and she is not forcing me out. I figured to save and buy a house rather than rent my own place right off the bat.

As for girls , right now it's not my biggest priority , I want to build my self as a MAN first ...and I must admit I don't know my father and never had a father figure to guide me.
I think I got by in life by playing a lot of sports , I managed to create bonds and become team captain since I was in elementary school through to high shool.

Body type -
Tall - 6'4
Weight - Around 230

I'm committed and ready to learn and read everything you guys have me with. Help me become a MAN guys !

 

[Krueg]

It sucks to get dumped, we all been there. Its not your fault, you dodged a bullet! I cant recall any successful man in history who married their first love.. Usually its a few women down the road. Anyways, failure does not equal being single. Think about being stuck in a un-happy marriage or paying child support to some chick who uses that money to run off with her new boyfriend...

Welcome to your new journey DJ! Personally, I'd just focus and you and improving yourself. Once you spot a chick that makes you say "Wow!" Introduce yourself and make some small talk. You cant place your happiness on women, you got you be happy with yourself!

Good Luck.

 

[Fedex]

Welcome to the forums Yorkex!
I'm not the kind of person to give advice, but I would gladly suggest you some reading materials to start with.

To start is to understand "what the hell is a dj". Many new dj's on the forum don't even bother to read all the treasure trove of material right in front of their faces.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=18369

First I would want recommend you to start with the Book of pook.
The book of pook is a collections of posts from a former sosuave member whose reputation is legendary as a dj.

http://www.returnofkings.com/misc/The_Book_Of_Pook.pdf

The book of pook covers nearly all of the fundlementals of the site itself

After reading the book of pook, I would recommend you to then start with the dj bible, which the site oddly revolves around.

The site has changed and quality content is rare, but when available will relevant and great!

To be a dj is like Pokemon, your ash of little root or whatever it is and slowly meet many friends, rivals, professors, embark on quests and most importantly find and catch Pokemon.

Pokemon are like women of the world, there are many types. The legendary beauty's to the level 5 pidgeys to the ditto who takes form of other Pokemon. Endless possibility.

The best part, you embark on an adventure of self improvement, adventure and most importantly..... You embark on life!

Remember ash doesn't sit stay in his house all day and watch his poke tv and do nothing, he is constantly biking around some cave, using repel on terrible pokemons and catching the rare and legendary ones. When he isn't, he is living his life to the fullest and he always has a quest to fullfit and to fulfill his dreams (Sorry for the reference, couldn't help it XD)

The journey dooesnt begin after you finish learning the 101's, but when you set foot and say "I am the man and I love myself!" (Something like that)

*cheers

 

[Yorkex]

It sucks to get dumped, we all been there. Its not your fault, you dodged a bullet! I cant recall any successful man in history who married their first love.. Usually its a few women down the road. Anyways, failure does not equal being single. Think about being stuck in a un-happy marriage or paying child support to some chick who uses that money to run off with her new boyfriend...

Welcome to your new journey DJ! Personally, I'd just focus and you and improving yourself. Once you spot a chick that makes you say "Wow!" Introduce yourself and make some small talk. You cant place your happiness on women, you got you be happy with yourself!

Good Luck.

Thank you ! So far I'm doing my best to avoid her and work on my self. NC is 1 month and doing well to keep it going !

 

[Yorkex]

Welcome to the forums Yorkex!
I'm not the kind of person to give advice, but I would gladly suggest you some reading materials to start with.

To start is to understand "what the hell is a dj". Many new dj's on the forum don't even bother to read all the treasure trove of material right in front of their faces.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=18369

First I would want recommend you to start with the Book of pook.
The book of pook is a collections of posts from a former sosuave member whose reputation is legendary as a dj.

http://www.returnofkings.com/misc/The_Book_Of_Pook.pdf

The book of pook covers nearly all of the fundlementals of the site itself

After reading the book of pook, I would recommend you to then start with the dj bible, which the site oddly revolves around.

The site has changed and quality content is rare, but when available will relevant and great!

To be a dj is like Pokemon, your ash of little root or whatever it is and slowly meet many friends, rivals, professors, embark on quests and most importantly find and catch Pokemon.

Pokemon are like women of the world, there are many types. The legendary beauty's to the level 5 pidgeys to the ditto who takes form of other Pokemon. Endless possibility.

The best part, you embark on an adventure of self improvement, adventure and most importantly..... You embark on life!

Remember ash doesn't sit stay in his house all day and watch his poke tv and do nothing, he is constantly biking around some cave, using repel on terrible pokemons and catching the rare and legendary ones. When he isn't, he is living his life to the fullest and he always has a quest to fullfit and to fulfill his dreams (Sorry for the reference, couldn't help it XD)

The journey dooesnt begin after you finish learning the 101's, but when you set foot and say "I am the man and I love myself!" (Something like that)

*cheers

Thanks Fedex ! Really appreciate the help. I finished reading the thread and currently about to begin the book by Pook. These are the type of help I need , I definitely made a commitment to become a new and better man and I appreciate all the help and support.
I will be giving updates to this thread to signal my progress and further help needed.

Keep the advice and books coming brothers ! I have a lot of time on my hand before starting work in January so I want to start my new life before the new year starts.

 

[Fedex]

Have a great journey.... Woooooo......

 

[Yorkex]

My word...

Reading this books is putting everything in place. I became such a AFC not wonder my ex behaved her ways.

Time for a clean up.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

My advice is to NATURALLY live the life of all the teachings here. Many members need to constantly think about every move they make. That isn't good. They aren't at the true level of DJism. Because constantly having to think about everything you do is a bad trait to have. The only thinking that may need to be done is "should i do it or not?" and that's it. Don't think of the repercussions or anything. And you shouldn't even need to think 'should i or should i not' too much either. If you want something go for it. Simple.

Basically:

Less thinking, more doing. Less analyzing, more action. Less dependency, more confidence.

It is good to be free to do what you want, but don't be a slave to your passion. Because then you aren't really free. 'Just because you want it doesn't mean it's good for you.' But don't try to please anybody but yourself (unless it benefits you).

And more importantly, don't be yourself. Progress yourself. Progress yourself into who you want to be. That way you are your true self. The form of which I have described above as a person who simply acts and does not analyze. The man who is not dependent on others but rather confident on his own path and in himself to guide himself.

There's a lot more I want to tell you but I'm sleepy.

Anyway, welcome to the website. I hope it will change your life like it did mine.

- The king!!!