Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Help me bag this 9

Sikanhe

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This 23-year old girl is a nine in my books. i met her last year on my sumer vacation back at my hometown. we hung out and on the night before i left town we made out in the back of a cab takng her home but we didnt have sex. The whole year we flirted online and on the phone. im back in town now. we went on a date and she was non-responsive to anything, including no eye contact. Any analysis and suggestions to the situation?

SIK
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Sikanhe

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i wonder y would she even come out if she was interested
 
A

Aazman

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try leaving her for now. Go find someone else. Otherwise your going to develop one itis. Leave her for a week. And see if she makes any contact to you. If she doesn't- bin it.

UPDATE: she may have gone along to see you because of formality- she may not neccesarily like you in that way. As for the whole year in contact- it kept her emotions high- made her feel wanted. Long distance= fail. Especially maintaining contact for a year!
 

Sikanhe

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Having the same thoughts with u Aaz
and i have alrdy set up date with another
 

nismo-4

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Judge nismo has reviewed your case and found you guilty on a charge that you got her on a pedestal.

Also you must not have kept that flame lit. It's highly likely she found someone who did and therefore, she's just not that into you now. Online chat is good but what's going on in the real world? That's the $64,000 question.

I will dismiss your charge of oneitis development since you got a date set up with another.

Long distance relationships ain't my thing unless I'm old as hell and I luck out, which I'm not betting on at all.

Case closed. Let me know how your new date goes.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Sikanhe

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Here is the update.
my new date day was hot and fun we went out and had dinner then went to a karaoke bar had fun. nothing unusual though took her home and gave me a hug. later texted me only to ask me a song i sang at the karaoke.
The other girl has txted me few times, called me few times, and IMed me few times in the last three days. i ignore all except one phone call cuz i accidently picked up during my nap. Told her i was sleeping and hung up. im sensing a bit of desparity here?
Anyone has any take on this?
 

Sikanhe

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wow as i was typing that a call 2 and a msg saying wtf is going on
 

playerone

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Sounds like she just wants your attention to fuel her ego, and she's getting impatient since she ain't getting any. She didn't even give you eye contact, that could be either she's attracted and shy, or total disrespect. Well, i'd say it's disrespectful either way.

Take her out one more time, see if she still behaves the same way. If nothing changes, you know what to do.
 

Sikanhe

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ya shes definetly craving for my attention. she sent me ten txt msgs and IMed me about the same trying to ask me wtf is going on and threaten me that she wont sleep until i gave her an answer. damn she has that much attention void??? ill give her another chance. its gonna be bed or bail.
 

dap

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Here is what I think is going on:
1. You had been talking to this girl for a year without getting anything in return. This lowered your value in her eyes. She saw you as someone who is loyal to a girl for a whole year after just making out with them. When you finally had a date with her she was nonresponsive because she was uncomfortable with your lowered value in her eyes.

BUT

2. You won her back. This is impressive because it is really hard to do. With most girls, you are either making small steps toward the bed or giant leaps away. Anyway, you DHVed her really well by showing you can have fun without her--being too busy to answer her calls, going on dates, etc. Now she feels *her* value was lowered and wants to redeem herself.

Essentially, you are at the same place you were just before you made out. She is interested again and you are in control. You have restored attraction and qualification, so its time to move on to the comfort and seduction phases. You know what to do!
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Sikanhe

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Damn she broke~~~ she spammed me everywhere,txt phone facebook IM, asking me wtf she did wrong,she couldnt sleep. texting me 3 in the morning.
 

playerone

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It's not about whether you bed her or not. It's whether you're having fun while being around her. Sounds like she wants you bad again. Crack her up with some ****y funny like, "Easy on the messages, I know you miss me but my grandma just got to bed. :)"

Then ask her out, don't wait.
 

rushing dude 123

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You will end up losing her again if you keep ignoring. The thing is when the girl is showing interest and wants to talk to you bad!!!!!!!!, you should throw her a bone. Because i am guessing if you don't respond shes going to start calling you an ******* and stuff like that. It's better to respond to good behaviour than bad, that way you promote the good.

Also note: don't contact her and chat to her ages on msn or facebook or whatever, you will end up in that dredded friend zone again. Call her phone and try set something up with her. Well this is my opinion anyway
 

Sikanhe

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gother set up for tmr night dinner. when i called her she didnt rly wanna come seemed annoyed. just gonna be myself and have fun. any one wanna add anything?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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