So I'm asking this question to avoid screwing up another by making a bad decision. So I got this female friend. We met about a year ago through work, and slowly started spending time together. Nothing ever happened between us because she was in a LDR and wanted to stay faithful. She knows I'm at least attracted to her because one time she thought I was gonna kiss her and she playfully pushed me away (I wasn't gonna kiss her, was just pulling her in to whisper something to her). Anyway I joked around saying I wasn't planning in kissing but if she was single it may be different story. So we continued to hang out til she moved away for school. Since then we've hung out twice when she was in town, once with her and another ex coworker (who was a huge ***** to me that night might I add). The second time was just me and her, movie and drinks. I haven't tried escalating anything with her because of her bf (I'm really not the kind of guy to do that, if I didn't know she was dating someone it be different). Anyway she's back in town for the summer. And while I get a kick out of chilling with her I also find her attractive ( forgot to mention that her LDR bf doesn't appear to be in the picture anymore). I'd like to try gaming her and have a bit of fun while she's back for the summer but don't know if that's the right decision. Will this bite me in the ass if I proceed?
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Help me avoid making another stupid mistake: gaming a female friend, yes or no?
- Thread starter Kal0051
- Start date
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Igetit!
Moderator
So you want to gather some info together to avoid making any costly mistakes before getting any deeper involved with this girl,right?Kal0051 said:
Too late. It's too late,Kal. You've ALREADY made one of the worse and most costly mistakes a guy can make when trying to date a girl.
I'll enbolden the part I'm talking about.
Yep,that nasty "f" word.Kal0051 said:
You two are "friends",and have been friends for over a year. Also,you said that you started spending time with her and NOTHING EVER HAPPENED.
You've seemed to have fallen into the role of being her "surroagte" boyfriend.
You've screwed up man. You're hanging out and going to the movies with some other guy's girlfriend.
You wine,dine,and take care of the emotional part of the girl,while her boyfriend gets the booty,lol.
What difference does she knowing you're attracted to her make?Kal0051 said:
Unless she's attracted to you as well,all her knowing that you like her does is just boost her ego.
All you did with this statement was show her that you're NOT a challenge.Kal0051 said:
You just lessened even more any possible interest she might have had.
So basically this is dating WITHOUT anything sexual going on between you two,sort of a "friends WITHOUT benefits" thing going on.Kal0051 said:
Kal,Kal,Kal....where did we go wrong with you? lol.
Well....all you can do is ask her out and see what happens.Kal0051 said:
You made this thread in hopes of being able to avoid some damaging mistakes,but the most hurtful ones were already made months ago.
You can ask her out and see what's up,but don't be surprised if she pulls out the "let's just be friends" card on you.
I see what your saying but don't forget that I haven't been hanging out with this girl for months, in fact we've only hung out twice in the last 8 months. And her bf wasn't getting much, it was a long distance thing (not that that matters). I'll wait to see what other people say before I do anything. The earliest I'll see this girl is next week.
DonJuanit0
Master Don Juan
I'll have to agree with Igetit as always...Kal0051 said:
So, her bf was a long distant thing BUT it was an obstacle for her to kiss you, right?
You did hang out twice BUT nothing sexual happened! Did you see any IOIs? Did she respond to your IOIs in a positive way? (at least she didn't when you kiss closed or she thought you did)
Your only chances I guess are that she's looking for someone to hook up for the summer and nothin more! Even if she does I don't think you'll be her first choice! She WOULD have done something! No long distance relationship can hold a woman when she wants something!
Anyway, I'm interested to know if she showed any IOIs and you think you might have a chance with her!
Gl anyway...
Julius_Seizeher
Master Don Juan
Horrible idea.
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
lol, I'm never a girl's first choice :crazy:DonJuanit0 said:
But anyway, she's never responded negatively to any interest I've shown. Even that time she pushed me away, she didn't do it in a disgusted way or ask me what I'm doing. All she did was giggle and push me back a bit. She's not shown any definitive IOIs (keep in mind I'm bad at seeing them, so even if she was I probably wouldn't notice, I'm dense that way). However, I've had her buy me drinks and what not on multiple occasions. And I've had her ask me to come and have drinks with her (though once it may have just been because another guy we worked with asked her to grab a drink with him, and she asked me to come with her). So I don't know if she even likes me. I've had someone ask me with we were dating so maybe she's giving off some IOIs but like I said I don't really remember. I'd give you a more detailed account of how we interacted but the last time I saw her was 6 months ago so I don't remember every detail.
And I'm only looking at a fling and to practice with her, not anything more. She'll head back to school in sept and next april I'm finished school and will probably move away.
Sherlock-Holmes
Don Juan
Hey Kal.
No such thing as never a girl's first choice. Everyone deserves a chance whether or not you know it.
Personally, I would try to be more sexual towards her (hold hands, hugging), but be prepared to lose her as a friend.
If you're not gonna take that risk, then forget about it! Don't expect her to be "interested" in you one way or another.
Good luck!
No such thing as never a girl's first choice. Everyone deserves a chance whether or not you know it.
Personally, I would try to be more sexual towards her (hold hands, hugging), but be prepared to lose her as a friend.
If you're not gonna take that risk, then forget about it! Don't expect her to be "interested" in you one way or another.
Good luck!
JEEZ----- if you want to see where you stand, next time you are with her kiss her
If she goes along with you and escalates you are in
Anything else --- you are her emotional tampon, orbiter, suplication, step-and-fetch b!tch boy
Stop wasting your time and money
By the way you said some nonsence about her not acting negatively to your IOI----WTF?????
I haven't acted negatively to you either does that mean I want a relationship with you ??????
No offense but..........NO F*CKIN WAY!!!!!
Judge her by her actions not by actions she hasn"t taken
Hell, she hasn't launched a rocket into space yet ........what does that mean ?????
Over and Out.
If she goes along with you and escalates you are in
Anything else --- you are her emotional tampon, orbiter, suplication, step-and-fetch b!tch boy
Stop wasting your time and money
By the way you said some nonsence about her not acting negatively to your IOI----WTF?????
I haven't acted negatively to you either does that mean I want a relationship with you ??????
No offense but..........NO F*CKIN WAY!!!!!
Judge her by her actions not by actions she hasn"t taken
Hell, she hasn't launched a rocket into space yet ........what does that mean ?????
Over and Out.
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"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
LOL. I was kind of kidding too! The thing is, you want to be relatively high on the totem pole when it comes to who a woman spends time with. If you're towards the bottom, you'll basically be getting the scraps.Kal0051 said:
And you don't want that.
So tried to get this girl to meet up with me but she keeps giving me the excuse that she's applying for jobs. It's partially true but since she can't be out job hunting 24/7 it shows that she doesn't give a ****. Deleted her number today, along with the numbers of all the girls I've met lately who have rejected me (which is all of them, about 10). So back down to zero options again, maybe this is where I'm meant to be in regards to women. Maybe, maybe not, I really don't know. Meh, whatever, **** them all, they'll probably get knocked up and have to raise a kid alone.
Don't look at it as zero options
It's really UNLIMITED OPTIONS
You are free to pursue any and all women you want!!!!!!!!!
Learn from any mistakes you think you made and move on !!!!
There's a whole world of chicks out there
Go get 'em !!!!
It's really UNLIMITED OPTIONS
You are free to pursue any and all women you want!!!!!!!!!
Learn from any mistakes you think you made and move on !!!!
There's a whole world of chicks out there
Go get 'em !!!!
DonJuanit0
Master Don Juan
It's only after we lost everything, that we are able to do anything!
Don't take it like that ! Go out! Search, get rejected and then again and again! There isn't an easy way, and I don't think you have another choice but trying and trying...
Don't take it like that ! Go out! Search, get rejected and then again and again! There isn't an easy way, and I don't think you have another choice but trying and trying...