Help me attract this girl

[Jay Reimenschneider]

I'm in college sophomore who just transferred schools and is living in the dorms. Being new at the school I don’t know a whole lot of people. There is a girl that I have encountered three times. On our first two encounters both parties remained silent but we made and held eye contact as we walked past each other. I immediately felt a connection and set a goal of attracting this girl. On our third encounter I initiated conversation. We were walking past each other and the dorm hallway and we stopped to talk near her room. I asked her name, pointed out my room just down the hall, and made her laugh. I told her that I had to be moving on but would see her around. This was five days ago and I still haven’t gone over to talk to her.

People that know me would describe my personality as extroverted. However I get anxious around new people, especially girls. Since I started college I’ve been trying to get laid by hooking up and it hasn’t been working; I’m still a virgin. I can’t say that I’ve had great luck in relationships either, but I haven’t attempted one of those since high school so I’m interested in giving it another try. So taking it one step at a time, I’d like to start hanging out with/dating the aforementioned girl. Please give me suggestions on what a guy in my situation should do.

 

[Ridingthelightning]

Be cool, don't get anxious over someone you just met, thats weird. If you had met someone and they got anxious around you then how would you feel? Now there are times when two people meet and they instantly want to hang out together all the time. But from my life experience that doesn't happen a lot.
Just be cool.

 

[duttylove]

read the bible!

 

[xblitz44x]

She's already attracted. Even if you don't know, assume she is.

a) Figure out why you're so nervous having simple conversations with strangers.

b) Put the "gotta get laid" mindset on hold for a little while and let it sink in that every conversation with a girl doesn't have to be an attempt to get laid. It's just conversation.

c) The next conversation, let her know that you're new and looking to meet new people. Ask her if she wants to grab something to eat (insert day here). If she declines and the exuse seems sincere, ask her number so you can reschedule.

Easy as pie.

 

[squirrels]

Next time you're headed down to the dining hall/student union/movies/bar/whatever, swing by and invite her along.

Then just go Gunwitch on her.

 

[Jay Reimenschneider]

I've figured out that you really can't expect to have sex with a girl unless you first talk to them about sex. So my question is: when do you start to talk to a girl about sex? The first time you meet her? Not until weeks later?

Or is it based on an event, i.e. its ok to talk about sex after you've kissed.

 

[Skullcrusher]

Originally posted by Ridingthelightning
Be cool, don't get anxious over someone you just met, thats weird. If you had met someone and they got anxious around you then how would you feel? Now there are times when two people meet and they instantly want to hang out together all the time. But from my life experience that doesn't happen a lot.
Just be cool.

Easier said than done.

Jay, if you're nervous. Go ahead and be nervous. Because you're a virgin you might be more anxious than guys who aren't - that's OKAY don't make it obvious and watch porn in the meantime to help.

The sex talk. I would avoid talking about act of sex until you actually insert your penis in her.

 

[xblitz44x]

"I've figured out that you really can't expect to have sex with a girl unless you first talk to them about sex."

You figured wrong. Sex happens when it's going to happen. Forcing sex in there will backfire in most cases. If the conversation drifts upon the topic, great. If not don't force it.

 

[Jay Reimenschneider]

How does one actually initiate sex? I've been naked with girls before, making out, oral sex, hands, stuff like that. But it has never lead to sex. I suppose that I was waiting for the girl to initiate it. But maybe I wasn't doing the right things. When you're ready to slide into home do you just get up and go fetch a condom without even saying anything to her? Do you whisper 'do you wan't to have sex' in her ear?

Can someone explain to me in detail how this usually goes down?

 

[Skullcrusher]

Originally posted by Jay Reimenschneider
I stand corrected.

How do you stand corrected mutha****a?

 

[Mister Big]

Originally posted by xblitz44x
"I've figured out that you really can't expect to have sex with a girl unless you first talk to them about sex."

You figured wrong. Sex happens when it's going to happen. Forcing sex in there will backfire in most cases. If the conversation drifts upon the topic, great. If not don't force it.

I agree. I usually know a woman wants to have sex by her body language, the look in her eyes when I give her EC, or her response to my kino. I don't talk about having sex unless she initiates it. I save my sex talk for the bedroom and it usually blows their mind in a good waybecause the thought I was "sooo sweet."

Most women love mystery and suspense and think that your discussing sex early on is pretty crude. This is where I tend to differ with some DJs who use overt sexual talk to C&F women. Its just not my style. I'd rather grope them into it. lol. Most women appreciate being romanced by things other than words. You need to recognize their signs of interest in sex and escalate it.

 

[Mister Big]

Originally posted by Jay Reimenschneider
How does one actually initiate sex? I've been naked with girls before, making out, oral sex, hands, stuff like that. But it has never lead to sex.

Every woman's different and it takes some experience to know the best approach for each one. Some want you to take them and totally dominate them. Look into their eyes, you'll see it. Some like to resist and let you keep going further and further. There's no one way. That's part of the fun. Just enjoy figuring out each situation and don't stress out about it. Sometimes playing it cool and stepping back from a girl gets you laid. Those are the best because you get them to beg for you to do it.