Help! Major dating fumble! Redemption advice?

[NikolaiKozlov]

This is a sad story. I'm in college, for your perspective.

I got this girls number after hanging out with our mutual friend. We texted, I'm awesome at texting, she wants to hang out. We hang out 3 times, once in the library just us, once we get drunk with my friends, once we get drunk with her friends.

The fourth time, I made an ass of myself. The plan was to go apartment-hopping in her neighborhood with her roommates. I was going to try like a champion to make it back in her room that night though. now for the story:

At like 4:30 that day, I took a 30mg Adderall XR, to study hard for a few hours until we met up at around 9PM. I got some major work done. Why do i mention this?

Adderall XR lasts 8 to maybe 10 hours in my system.
I was still way too hyped up on adderall when we started drinking!!!

Took a few shots of whiskey at her apartment. Went to her friend's (maybe 10:30 at this point) and started drinking jungle juice. After slowly drinking the first cup, I noticed I was feeling about 99% sober. Adderall hugely masks the effects of alcohol. I was getting drunk, I just could not tell.

It tasted like koolaid, so I figured it was weak **** and drank 2 more cups. 3 cups in about an hour ending at like 1130. It was not weak ****. The cops shutdown the party at like 12, so we hang out outside for awhile and then went back.

I remember feeling like I was getting drunker by the second (so fast) even though I hadn't been drinking for almost half an hour. The adderall was wearing off and leaving my system starting at around 12 when we got back to her friend's apartment. After this, I'm ****ed and coming down from adderall fast. The last time I remember reading was 1230 something on my phone.

BLACKED OUT HARD. this never happens to me. Twice in high school and that was it, but the combined effect of the adderall leaving my system (which usually puts me in a haze till I sleep) and my brain taking notice of all the alcohol in my system caused me to black out hard. When I black out, I go to a very dark place in my childhood (abused/neglect by drunk mother when dad was deployed). I'm very well adjusted and accept my past, idk why I go there when I black out. I get very verbally offensive at women specifically. I haven't hit any women as far as I know of yet.

This is all I know that happened PIECED TOGETHER thru my mutual friend and my drunk texts to this girl (I'm a chump)..... she rushed home to help out roommate 1 who was getting sick and didn't tell me. The not blacked out me would have helped and gotten "thanks for being a great guy" sex. I ended up getting lost and going to another party with roommate 2 for like an hour.

What happened with roommate 2? i have no idea, I probably rattled off something stupid about how I wanted to get with the girl I was talking to. I know myself well enough that I wouldn't hit on roommate 2. I don't know if I drank more, probably not though.

Somehow, we made it back to the apartment at like 1:30. I'm black out trashed, and the girl I like was barely buzzed and had just spent the hour watching roommate 1 puke. I'm not welcome to stay the night and should have left. Something must have set me off, because I was told that I yelled random awful things (dark past) at her and roommate 2. This was right before locking myself in their bathroom and throwing up. Of course, I get vomit not just in the toilet, but on the floor and one of my pant legs.

At this point, she had to call our mutual friend and have him come get me. He comes in and apparently the girls got really quiet and pointed to the door which hid me. Sounds bad. When he frees the locked door, I immediately punch him in the face hard. He closes the door and tells the girls they need to go upstairs. Bless him for trying to save me the embaressment, idk if they saw me or not.

I remember him smacking me in the face hard and after that it became patchy, not fully blacked out after puking. He proceeds to clean up my vomit off their floor, clean me off. I put on my change of clothes i brought thinking I'd be there in the morning. we leave that awful awful situation.

I text the girl the next morning trying to play it off... "Well... I ****ed up. This is what I get for trying to act cool around you." She replies, she's not happy, and I go on a sorry-parade and about how blacking out never happens to me (it doesn't). Apparently, roommate 2 is very unhappy at me also. There was probably something awful I said or an extremely forward comment to the girl I like. I don't know.

Her last text, replying to me inquiring if I'm still on her good side.... "Yea, but I think things just need to cool down a little after last nite."

I agreed and began my vow of silence. That was Sunday morning. It's now early Thursday. my plan as it stands is to wait until Sunday exactly one week to text her. I intend to come up with a clever way to ask if she's ready to meet up so I can talk about it.

Is this a good approach? Any suggestions?

I really like this girl, she just fits my type perfectly. petite, funny, "doesn't give a ****" attitude, *****y at all the right times. A total mess like me. She has an amazing group of friends, guys and girls, who are just awesome to hang with. she's hard as nails to read sometimes. I love the challenge, but right now I'm vibing that she hasn't given up on me, like I can redeem myself from this.

Also, I know it sounds like all I do is text this girl when everyone always advises to call girls you care about. In the college-aged dating game, it's text or in person until you start really dating. Then you start calling her up to hear her voice.

Again looking for advice on when and what to text her????

I need an approach so I can talk to her. Should I go with asking if she'll get food with me on campus? maybe a non-assuming lunch? Should I try to explain my childhood problems (all of which I've come to terms with myself)?
Should I emphasize the problem caused by the adderall I took?
When and where should I start????? What should I do exactly?

I need this one to work man. I deserve this girl and know I'm a great guy. It's been almost 5 days of radio silence now.

Can I honestly even redeem myself?

 

[rhythmic]

Post is way too long, but you at least used paragraphs so I could skim it.

I'd guess you're done... Where are the vibes coming from that she isn't done with you?

You've already apologised, which is all a guy can do when he fvks up. If she's interested she'll come for you. I don't think anything you send her will change anything for the better.

Maybe if you see her out and about, or through mutual friends(?) initiate something. By leaving it exactly one week before texting, it could seem contrived (which to be fair, it totally is) so you don't wanna do that.

 

[d!ckmojo]

Can I honestly even redeem myself?

Not in days or weeks you can't.

 

[NikolaiKozlov]

Text is talking in college. I'm going to keep saying it.

This girl is an insecure mess and needs to be constantly reminded that I'm still interested. Contrived to her is probably a good thing. I'm vibing off of our mutual friends, they say she'll probably forgive me if I give her time. Also, the wording in her last texts were very open to me trying to make it work after a few days without seeing her.

I didn't intend to apologize again. I thought I could explain myself though, about the adderall and the blackout personality. I never black out, everyone was really scared because they hadn't seen me do that before.

Bumping into her is not an option without making it look obviously intentional. There are 40,000 students here. The two real options are messaging her or literally showing up to her apartment unannounced.

If I had to send a text, where should I go with it?

 

[VladPatton]

Stop taking drugs to get through school or this is just the beginning. Ƒucking drugs. When you children of the 90's get to be over 30 you are seriously going to be Ƒucked socially, psychologically and physically.

Improve yourself so all you need is your natural brain to get things done, that includes getting laid. Go cold for a while then emerge a better person. This should be a wake up call.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Texting KILLS relationships.

I know you don't believe it, but it does. One of the reasons is that, if you text stupid stuff, it STAYS on her phone as a reminder to her of WHY she's lost interest in you. Oh, but wait - didn't you say you sent some drunk text messages to this girl, probably of an insulting and/or begging nature?

But yeah, but go ahead and keep on texting, buddy - let the evidence against you build up in her phone :crackup:

 

[Bible_Belt]

Whatever issues you have that only seem to come out when you're drunk are still there when you're sober. Most colleges will have free counseling that is part of your student health care. You should take advantage of it while it's still free. Your mental health is more important than any piece of ass. Twenty years from now, she'll be a fat stranger, but you'll still have the same mind with the same issues if you don't work on them.

If it makes you feel any better, I once got way too drunk at a wedding. It was my girlfriend's uncle's wedding. On the way home, I tried to lean out the window of the car and puke, but we were on the highway and most of the puke blew back in through the rear window. Myself, my girlfriend, her car, and her mother all got covered in a mist of vomit.

Surprisingly, neither one of them were mad. The gf and I ended up moving in together about a month after that. I figured she must like me if it was ok to puke on her mom.