I met this freshman girl a week ago, and she seemed really into me. I am an upperclassman, so she has only been in college for a week. She spent the last couple of nights at my place, and we went as far as oral sex. She says she doesn't want to have regular sex with me, because she has been hurt before recently. At the same time, she doesn't want to be in a relationship, which is fine. Also, she says she doesn't want to hurt me. Should I keep pursuing, or how should I react to this?
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Help Inerpreting this behavior
- Thread starter Lotekx
- Start date
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Rata Blanca
Senior Don Juan
Take what people say with a grain of salt (not just women) watch what they do.
Don't act like his b/f just just have her as fbuddy that you can call from time to time.
Don't act like his b/f just just have her as fbuddy that you can call from time to time.
Shes saying in exactly what my best friends girlfriend was telling him and it translates to "CAN I TRUST YOU, HOW ARE YOU GOING TO PROVE THAT I CAN TRUST YOU BECAUSE I DO WANT TO F*** YOU AND I REALLY WANT A RELATIONSHIP" but if your only interested in her as a fbuddy then do what makes you happy.
Pushing away, pulling in. Pushing away, pulling in.She says she doesn't want to have regular sex with me, because she has been hurt before recently. At the same time, she doesn't want to be in a relationship, which is fine. Also, she says she doesn't want to hurt me.
She does want to have regular sex with you, because she needs someone. She'd love to be in a relationship with you and would love to love you.
I bet she jumped in with you early enough, and now wants to generate attraction to keep you and make you think good of her. I'd fbuddy. Unless she has it all going on.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
kinda like alot of the pickup artist say and what im trying to say is that you need to prove to her that you ARE going to STAY AROUND or at least make her believe that you are emotiionally attached to her. ill even go as far as mentioning mystery's talk about last minute resistance which is what she is giving you and thats just trying to decide whether or not you are going to be with her after sex, its not strange its just the way women are hardwired and its mentioned at least 7 hours are needed to be spent not having sex to prove this but you can go as far as 20 without being too afc.
just stick around for a short time and prove to her you'll be there and when the time is right she will go crazy on you.
just stick around for a short time and prove to her you'll be there and when the time is right she will go crazy on you.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
From her actions, would it be worth your effort? And as for her being unsure about trusting you, how does her saying that she doesn't want to hurt you fit into that premise?Lotekx said:...Should I keep pursuing, or how should I react to this?