Help! I'm turning into the 40 year old virgin

[Tazman]

Messing around with a 7 wont help my confidence because they don’t even seem the same to me. I dont' want to do it. I feel like I’m using a girl, if the whole point of seeing her is to use her for practice until someone better comes along.

I'm not suggesting that you go after girls that you have absolutely no attraction to, I'm saying give girls who aren't considered "hot" by the majority of guys a chance, you may be pleasantly surprised. You want to have something going on so you don't feel like you're starting from square one all the time.

What you're trying to do now is get "lucky" and that's not an attitude that will take you very far. Understand that whether or not you actually see guys around a hot chick, they stay in high demand and you have to have your sh*t together in order to land them.

Do you think these same chicks are dreaming of hooking up with a guy who's having such a hard time with women? You can't fake your way into their pants (drunk.......maybe) so why not lower your standards just a bit and get your feet wet. All the while you can still go after the 8s on up.

 

[MightyMate]

You are old. Try with getting head/sex frm very younger woman than You. 18-23. Its gonna be mad simple, will giv You expeience and strenght.

 

[MightyMate]

Originally posted by fuzzx
I have two solutions both work extremely well, having tried them myself.

Do one of these two for 6 months to a year.

ENGLISH TEACHING ABROAD
www.globaltesol.com

RESORT WORK IN CENTRAL AMERICA
http://www.getggg.com/

How do You know this guy comes from England.

 

[freefalling]

Week 14 Update (Vacation)

I am back from vacation. I had a great time. I didn’t hook up with any vacation girls. For the first time I did run into a girl who returned eye contact with me.

The night has just started, I am standing on the edge of the dance floor with my friends and while I try to drink enough beer to get some liquid courage I see a pretty blond with hair like Angelina Jolie had in the movie Gone in 60 Seconds. She is about an 8.4. I make eye contact with her without smiling. I get really freaked out because she keeps looking back at me rather then looking away quickly. After what seems like eternity she finally looks away. Then I look away and pretend to be looking at something else, but I am really watching her with my peripheral vision. I see her look back at me again. This makes me really happy because I remember reading somewhere on sosuave that her looking back is supposed to be a good sign.

I forget about her and start making stupid comments to my friends. The next thing you know she is dancing on the dance floor alone right in front of us. One of my friends puts his hand on my back and tries to push me forward to dance with her. I stiffen up and refuse to move forward. I don’t know why, but I feel scared of her. I feel like staring at her earlier was wrong or I don’t want to look foolish in front of my friends, I don’t know.

We leave the dance floor to another drink and I start to relax a little. Then I see that the girl has moved to the bar and is getting a drink with her friends standing right next to me. I look over at her and smile as a really upbeat song comes on. She starts clapping her hands and does some sort of weird dance thing where she keeps trying to give me a high five to the beat of the music while dancing with me. I was able to keep up with it for about 10 seconds then I get out of sync with her and miss a high five. I have no clue what she is trying to do and am embarrassed. I stop trying to dance. I ask her name (Diane) and where she is from then I smile at her and walk back to my friends by the dance floor.

A little while later the Fatman Scoop song Put Ya Hands up comes on. The song is in Save the Last dance. I really love it and I practice dancing to it all the time. So I break out into this “silly” dance with dance moves I would normally only do in front of the mirror. It involves fist pumping in the air, moves from Save the Last Dance, and a couple other weird arm movements that I made up.

The song finishes and a new song starts. I look up to see Diane standing in front of me. She says, “You can dance!“ After that other high five thing I don’t think she thought I could dance at all. I don’t have time to think about it because she immediately starts grinding with me. I am completely taken by surprise we aren’t even on the dance floor and I still have my beer in my hand. Guys are bumping into me because we are semi blocking the walkway around the dance floor. It seems as though we are dancing to a completely different beat and I keep bumping into her awkwardly. Then she bends her knees and goes down so low to the floor. I try and follow her but my knees don’t seem to bend that far and I can only go half as far. She comes back up and I almost fall over because my legs were in such an awkward position. She goes down again, I wonder if I wasn’t supposed to be going down the first time so this time I stay standing. I put my hand on her head while she is down there. It looked pretty ridiculous. She comes back up again and takes my hands and puts them on her stomach. We grind like that out of rhythm for the rest of the song.

I thank her for the dance. Then we go to a different bar because the bar we are in is guy heavy and I never see her again.

I wanted that girl to like me. So I think I am respecting her by not touching her, but I think (I’m not 100 percent sure) that I should actually be trying to touch instead.

The whole grinding thing is a problem too. There isn’t going to be any easy way to get better at it without having a girl to practice with. I got really drunk and walked up behind a different girl and started grinding with her. I didn’t really rub up against her so there was no awkward out of sync bumping, and when she went down low I went down with her, but I could feel a painful burning sensation in the top of my leg muscles (quads) every time I went down. So something is really wrong with the way I grind.

There is a certain point of drunkenness where I will just dance on the dance floor by myself for the fun of it.

Sometimes I am slipping back to my old ways without even knowing it. I never used to make eye contact with anyone. Now I’ve been trying to make eye contact all the time. Some girl I had never even seen before ran up to me in the street and hugged me. Then she went inside the club. I talked to her again in the club, but I didn’t know it until she had left and my friend pointed it out. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I had not made any eye contact with her in the street so I had zero facial recognition when I saw her again.

Perhaps I will look into voice lessons, I probably do have a problem there. Maybe it would help me to get hotter girls if I had a couple 7’s hanging around. It seems wrong though, like I would be using them and wasting their time.

I was running my hands up and down this hot strippers body. Wow I am really missing out.

 

[Tazman]

I look up to see Diane standing in front of me. She says, “You can dance!“

Go with this and stop overanalyzing everything. You can't relax and get into the zone because you pick apart EVERYTHING that's happening, stop that. I think you did really well man, stop THINKING about everything.

Then she bends her knees and goes down so low to the floor. I try and follow her but my knees don’t seem to bend that far and I can only go half as far. She comes back up and I almost fall over because my legs were in such an awkward position.

You don't need to go down with her, let her grind your leg and when she comes back up you can lean in to grind yourself.

I wanted that girl to like me. So I think I am respecting her by not touching her, but I think (I’m not 100 percent sure) that I should actually be trying to touch instead.

Yes, stop thinking like that, you're at a CLUB for crying out loud, it's pretty much expected.

Perhaps I will look into voice lessons, I probably do have a problem there.

Unnecessary. There's nothing wrong with your voice, the only thing stopping you is your insecurity. You need to practice NOT thinking so much, that's your biggest problem. I attended a wedding reception not too long ago and most of the guys weren't pulling any kind of fancy dance moves (in fact, none that I saw), they were swaying to the music and that's pretty much it. It's great that you're putting yourself out there, but stop analyzing every detail because that's hurting you more than anything else.

 

[freefalling]

Week 15 Update (Mystery and Style)

This week I was going to come up with a plan to make more friends, meet women outside of clubs, and come up with the perfect opening statement to girls in the club.

Instead I end up spending hours on the sosuave forum. I keep checking it over and over. It gets to the point where I run out of stuff to read because discussions aren’t being generated fast enough. So I go to the fastseduction forum and start reading field reports. It’s a huge waste of time because 90 percent of the posts are vague and acronym laden. I notice that two names come up a lot, Mystery and Style. So I go to the source and decide to check out their stuff. Mystery charges a lot of money because charging a guy 1500 dollars to learn how to get a girl = R A P E I just look for what I can find for free on the Internet.

I watch 3+ hours of video of Mystery. I read a 200 page ebook by Mystery and I read The Game (450+ pages) by Style (Neil Strauss). The Game is more of and entertainment read. There is something effeminate about both of their voices and I would on first impression think that they were gay. Mystery is a 6 foot 5 nails painted black goth guy and style is a short head shaven guy who wears pink shirts. I wanted to hate them, but I’m going to have to give some of their methods a reluctant thumbs up.

I spent so much time on the net and reading that everything else in my life fell apart. I stopped going to the gym (I have small muscles everywhere now, but no one will notice because I wear long sleeves) I trashed my place and I was dead tired because I kept staying up late.

One Saturday I go out to a new club. I decide to change two things based on my reading. First of all I will be smiling all the time (Mystery Method – its supposed to make it look like you are having a good time which in turn raises your value in a girls eyes, when I actually start talking to a girl I’m supposed to lose the smile because having it then will lower my value). Second of all I will keep my beer bottle held loosely at my side (Mystery Method – Holding the beer bottle at chest level supposedly makes you look uptight and lowers your value with a girl).

The club is so loud that I give up on the idea of trying to approach groups of girls. My new beer holding technique and perma-smile (I wasn’t smiling 100 percent of the time, but I was smiling a lot and if my friends said anything remotely funny I laughed) don’t seem to be helping much. The smile seems to put my friends in a better mood though.

Finally there is only 1 hours left before the club closes and I haven’t talked to or tried to dance with anyone. It’s so much harder in the club. There are girls everywhere, but there are so many obstacles, the loud noise, the girls’ clubbing attitude, trying to talk to a group that I know nothing about.

My friend wanders out to the middle of the dance floor and I follow him. It sucks. We are surrounded by guys. I keep smiling like and idiot and dancing around. As I dance I start drifting around the dance floor, my friend follows. I stop drifting when I see these two hot brunettes one is short and the other one is tall.

I want to dance with them, but I can’t because I’m afraid. They are grinding up on each other and doing all sorts of crazy dances. I think it’s a bad sign, these girls always seem to be at the club just to dance with each other. I watch a guy walk up to them and get blown away. Doesn’t it always seem like you need an equal number of guys to dance with a group of girls? Otherwise the girl who doesn’t have a guy will just pull her friend away.

The short girls goes down to the floor and starts rubbing herself against the tall girls leg, then she comes back up again. I smile like I think what she did is funny and let her catch me looking. The short girl and I make eye contact and she smiles back at me and keeps dancing. If I was a real man this would be the moment that I go up and dance with her.

Of course I’m afraid. I don’t even know why I’m afraid. I want to dance with the girl for so many reasons and I can’t do it. I even have a wingman that can take out one of the girls for me. Still I keep dancing by myself trapped by my fear.

Two guys come up and start grinding with them. That’s life on the dance floor the time you have to make your move is finite. At least they can show me how it’s done… The girls go into something I like to call the protection hug. They grab onto each other really tight while still dancing and then twist away from the guys. The guys came in pretty energetic, but now they are just standing there looking pissed. Then they leave.

My dancing is getting a little bit out of control. My arm motions are getting larger and I spin in a circle pumping my fist in the air. I must look like an idiot, but with my perma-smile it probably just looks like I’m fooling around. The short girl does another one of her weird grinding moves and I let her catch me looking again. We make eye contact and again she smiles at me.

I have to do something, even if it is just to go up there and get rejected. How am I going to get girls if I can go to a place where I am surrounded by them, but do nothing because I am afraid to interact with them? I just need to go up there and get rejected. Great thoughts, but I am still standing there dancing by myself. A song passes. I give up trying to reason with myself. My perma-smile is gone and I hear the inner voice in my mind screaming. DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!

Finally it happens. I initiate with what is probably the worst opening dance move of all time. I back into her and start rubbing my ass up against hers! I feel her press her back up against mine and I realize that she is actually going to dance with me. I’m so shocked that I actually stop dancing and step away. She looks back and we smile at each other. Then I go back in and ass rub her again. I feel her press her back up against me and I start leaning back so she is bending forward and I am leaning back over her (not sure if that was a valid dance move) then I turn around and start grinding her from behind.

I learned a trick to avoid the awkward bumping during grinding that I experienced with Diane. In grinding the guy can lead or follow. If you want to follow the girl all you have to do is look down at her ass while you are grinding and mirror her motions and voila you are in sync. I still don’t have a perfect answer for when the girl goes down low to the ground, I just try and go down as low as I can with her. I grind with her for a couple songs then decide to leave. I was so happy just to have the whole dancing thing work at that I didn’t want to risk tainting the experience with a rejection from trying to escalate.

I lean in and say thanks for the dance. She grabs my hand and squeezes it. I get excited and spill my beer all over my pants. I grab my wing and we go to another floor.

 

[So Many Ways]

Heh, you did the butt bump. That actually works pretty good. There's a whole post on it , http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=28156.

 

[freefalling]

Week 15 Update (The intern)

Sometimes I wonder if the whole point of these posts will just be to serve as a warning to the people who come after me. Like a dead body in the road telling travelers not to take the path because it is a dead end.

I guess I can take some comfort in the idea that I enjoyed the journey so far. When I first started writing here I gave up on the idea of self-improvement and decided to just focus all my energy on hooking up with girls. Instead I ended up improving in ways I would have never even thought, like changing the way I walk or learning how to grind. I thought I wasn’t a people person because I spent so much time alone, but it’s just not true and I especially love meeting new people.

I decided to practice some of conversational ideas I learned on one of the interns at work. All she really does is make copies so I figured that I might as well use her for something useful. She is a really hot short brunette. Of course she is off limits because she is only 19 and she is at my work, but I figure what is the harm in flirting a little? The other thing that made it perfect was that she was leaving for school in two days so she was out anyways.

Day 1:
I never talk to this girl, but today I walk in and tell her that my friend taught me a trick (I took this from the Mystery Method) and I want to try it on her. I ask her to pick a number between 1 and 10. Then I write my guess down on a piece of paper. I ask her the number she says 7, which of course matches what I wrote on the paper (people almost always guess 7).

She is blown away. I tell her I have ESP and walk to my desk. She follows me and demands that I tell her how I pulled off the trick. I tell her and she seems disappointed, I think she really thought there was a way to know what number a person was thinking! I talk to her a lot that day, I make strong eye contact, shoulder touch her and I keep giving her personality tests I found in a book. She seems to love them.

However by the end of the day something seems to have gone terribly wrong. Somehow I’ve set off some sort of alarm in her head that I am into her and she starts to give me sending me some strong signals. Here are some sound bytes:

Her: I was at this concert once and this old guy tried to give me a massage it was disgusting.
Me: How old was he?
Her: Late twenties.

Me: What would you rate me on a scale of one to 10?
Her: I would rate you a 3.
Me (Later on in the day): What if I grew a beard would that improve my rating?
Her: No it would make you lower.
Me: Are you sure I’m a 3?
Her: Tell me your scale again…. actually you’re a 6 on your scale (could not sleep with without the assistance of alcohol).

Me: How old did you think I was when you first met me?
Her: 29
Me: Sometimes people think I look younger. It used to make me feel better when I was going to college because I didn’t feel so old.
Her: Her that’s cool, just as long as you didn’t try and touch anyone.

There were a lot more. The whole time I pretended not to be bothered by anything she said, but on the inside I was feeling diced up. Things came to an awful climax when I made a series of outrages statements (i.e I only date blondes because they are just better then all the other girls). The idea is that no one who is interested would ever say something like that, so it puts the girl at ease. Also the statements are supposed to be so outrages that the girl wonders if it is a joke, then later on I can recant it (i.e. The only love of my life was a brunette, sometimes there are more important things then looks blah blah blah).

This isn’t how it worked. I realized to late that she took everything I said seriously. Now she is really insulting me. She implies that I have a drinking problem because I go to the bars every week. I make a comment that it is cool to be a guy because we are bigger and stronger. She then implies, out of nowhere, that what I really mean is that I want to rape her in the parking lot when she leaves work! Then she leaves.

A co-worker who witnessed the whole conversation tells me I really have a way with women. Then he asks me if I date much.

Day 2:
Overnight I had time to think about what effect a sexual harassment suit would have on my career and I decide that I’m not going to talk to her ever again.

However all throughout the day she keeps coming over to my desk and asking me for help.

Her: I need you help moving this file from one drive to the other.
Me: Cut and paste (who doesn’t know how to copy a file???).
Her: Give me another personality test.
Me: Ok your on and island and blah blah blah…

The crazy thing is now she is touching me! This girl has done a complete 180 and all the insults are gone. What did she do last night… take prozac? There is one point where I was sitting down and she leaned up against me so her legs and arm was touching me. Then she leaned her head in really close to mind and started clicking on different sites on the internet. I reached over and put my hand on her belt and she put her arm on my shoulder. And we just stayed like that for what seemed like forever. As someone who hasn’t received the love of a woman in forever, I can’t even start to tell you how turned on I was. I wanted to grab her and make out with her right there.

I had a meeting took up the last part of the day. One of my coworkers told me that she stopped by my desk an hour after she was supposed to have left work asking about me around the time I normally leave. Was this girl for real??? I’ll never know. It was an interesting experience, but I’ll never hit on a girl at work again.

There was one week where my entire interactions with women could be written in a single paragraph. Now I have to cut everything out. I’ve started touching girls in the stomach when I grind. I don’t know what the next step is supposed to be I’ll have to watch what other guys do on the dance floor. Also I tried the side butt bump, it works awesome!!! I reverse engineer grinding moves by watching how a girl moves her ass while grinding, then I take my hands to the side of the girls butt and lead them to do the same move. They seem to love this! There were a tons of groups of girls hanging out in quite areas in the bar. I chickened out every time when it came to approaching them. Every girl I danced with I ran away from after only one dance. Somehow I’ve got to find the courage to just go up even if it is just to get rejected.

 

[ogre]

silverfox: u funny......

freefalling: ONLY 29? you're just a boy.....

 

[freefalling]

Week 16 Update (Bar as a social scene)

Quick ejection to avoid rejection. That’s what I do. What am I so afraid of? What will happen if I stay and let the girl rip me apart?

It’s the end of the night and I am pretty drunk and doing the dance floor walk through with a friend. I see a pretty girl dancing with two of her friends. I side butt bump her. Then I turn around and grind her back to back. Finally I turn around and start to actually grinding with her front to back. It looks like things are going to be ok, but suddenly she just stops dancing right in the middle of the song. She’s trying to say something to me, but I can’t hear her, the music is too loud. I say, what? and lean in close. She tells me that I almost knocked her over.

I don’t know what the hell she is talking about. I don’t remember any part of the dance where I came close to knocking her over. Either way I feel like an idiot. Why did I ever think that she would want me to intrude on the fun that she was having. She doesn’t even know me. I smile like I think it was funny then walk off the dance floor so she can’t see me anymore.

My new friends almost always try out different bars every weekend, but lately we have been going to this one bar. Something weird clicked and I ended up having a different type of experience.

It seemed like everywhere we went in the bar we knew people, and once we talked to them we met their friends. I met all sorts of hot girls, not so hot girls, and guys all night long and it was effortless. I kept walking in this big loop around the bar between three groups of people I knew and my new friends. I brought my computer nerd friend with me and at the end of the loop we would do a shot at the bar.

None of the people I met were complete strangers, they were all friends of friends. I actually bumped into this girl from one of my college classes who I had a crush on. She walked up to me to say hi! How cool is that? I never thought I was going to see her again. To bad that she was there with her boyfriend.

I got to practice grinding on the girls we met up with. One of the three girls was the ex of one of my new friends. She was all over me, but I don’t want to mess up what I have going on with my new friends so I tried not to do anything with her. I did try breathing on her girl ear while grinding, I don’t know if it worked. At one point there was a pretty girl dancing near us. One of my new friends tried to push me over to dance with her. As usual I stiffened up and refused to move. One of the girls saw it happen and went over to the dancing girl and asked her to dance with me. Next thing you know I am dancing with her.

It was a great night.

When I was 22 I wouldn’t have had anything to do with a 19 year old, but something has gone horribly wrong and now if a 19 year old seemed horny and into me I would gladly try and take advantage of her.

16 weeks and I haven’t even kissed a girl. What am I doing?

At the end of the night I was having one of those drunken conversations with my computer nerd friend.

I’ve known you forever, he said. But this is different, you’re different... Then he paused, like he was at a loss for words. I wanted so badly to know what he was going to say.

Then he finally said it. You’re hanging out with and talking to hot girls and quite frankly I’m jealous.

I laughed. Not quite the deep words I was looking for, but still pretty cool.

 

[redsaber9]

Good work! keep it up!

You can learn a lot from Mystery and Style's work. The Game is very entertaining and it can teach you a lot

Study the section where Papa runs game on Paris Hilton. It's impressive.

 

[freefalling]

Week 17 Update (Going nowhere fast)

My favorite part of The Game was when Mystery stole Scott Baio's girlfriend. The Paris Hilton part was good too. I'll have to buy The Cube sometime.

My new friend's ex came out again. She looked so hot. She had a short black skirt on with tall boots. I was having trouble resisting her. I start hitting on her.

Besides my new friend doesn't really seem to want anything to do with her. He keeps talking about different girls he wants to ****. I can tell it upsets her. I feel bad for her and tell her that she is very pretty. I go out of my way not to talk about other girls so I don't hurt her feelings.

As I leave at the end of the night she is making out with him in his driveway.

I got so angry. I wasn't even that into her, but somehow it still hurt. I think it ends up reminding me of all the times that I wanted to be with a girl so bad and she choose the guy who didn't even care about her over me. He is just going to use her for sex and she would rather be with him then me.

The best way I have found to kill a girl's vibe for me is to compliment her or pay for her dinner. The moment she thinks I'm into her it is all over.

There are a lot of people going out now, but the crowd is pretty guy heavy so there is not much of a chance to meet girls. Also I am having a good time so I forget to even try.

At the end of the night my friends were grinding with these two girls so I went over and talked to these two ugly girls who looked like they were having a bad time.

The wall of noise at the club is killing me. I can't hear anything. I asked one of them what she did for work and had to ask her to repeat the answer 3 times before I finally heard it.

Also I got bad feedback on my dancing from one of the girls we were going out with. It sucks to spend so much time trying to do something then still be bad at it. I was so upset about what she said I didn't dance with anyone. I am so timid with women. I hate it.

So it was a horrible weekend for getting woman. Still I feel like somewhere in me is a good night waiting to break out. I just have to change it up. Somehow...

 

[freefalling]

Week 18 Update (I love Oneitis)

I did so good not calling Oneitis. I even blew her off for the karaoke plans we had (week 13). I wanted to call her so bad, and I would think about it all the time. Finally 4 weeks later she emails me and asks me to meet her for dinner for Wednesday.

During dinner she tells me that she broke up with her boyfriend. I start to get my hopes up. Then she tells me that she is giving him a second chance because he seemed upset when she dumped him. So you’re not really broken up, I say. She says technically she is single right now, but she is going to give it another try.

I go to pick a piece of lint off her and accidentally rub my hand against one of her perfectly soft d cup breasts. She makes a strange face, but doesn’t say anything about it. I have the strange realization that this moment is probably the closest I will ever come to getting to second base with her. She has an amazing body and I wonder if she has a better body then any girl I’ll ever be with in my life.

I went against the DJ playbook for stealing girlfriends and told her that I think her boyfriend is a loser. It felt nice, it reminded me of a time when I had so much more self respect for myself. I didn’t bother telling her that I think I am a bigger loser then him because he is ****ing her and I am so socially maladjusted that I have not had sex for almost a half decade. At the end of the dinner I practically ran away from her. The only good thing is that I left on a high note because she was laughing hysterically at whatever I said. I took a developmental psychology and the teacher said that the shy awkward people in high school tend to be worse in every area of life except for two things:
1. They are better liked by their peers.
2. They have a better sense of humor.

On Saturday night I drunk text messaged her “You need to stop playing round with all them clowns and the wangstas Good girls gotta get down with them gangstas” She didn’t bother to reply back. I guess I will just go back to no contact. What else can I do?

Thursday night I got the call to come hang out with my college friends. Not much happened here, but I saw the waiting until marriage chick (Week 10) and she said that she still really wants to come out to the bars with me.

Friday night I hit the bars. The bar scene is so different now. We keep going to the same three bars and I end up knowing 12 to 15 people in the bars. I front grinded with a girl for the first time. I stopped after about a minute because the girl was just doing it to make my friend jealous and it was horrible and awkward.

Another girl who was with another group I know asked me to switch bars with her. We sit down at the new bar and she starts talking to this tattooed guy with strong muscles. I wanted to hate him because he was stealing my girl, but he didn’t even do anything he just stood there. I look at him and wonder what he has that I don’t. Then my eyes tear up. I don’t really understand it, but I was ready to start crying right there in the bar. I never approached anyone new that night.

One Saturday everyone is out again. There is this girl who I hang out with at the bars sometimes. She is crazy hot and I always have tons of fun with her when we hang out. We always spend a lot of the night dancing together. I love it because I imagine that other people in the bar might think that we are together.

She was kind of like my female wingman on this night and I actually approached groups of girls, which I have not done in a long while.

My female wing and I walked into the bar together. There is a group of three girls standing against the wall two pretty and one ugly. My female wing laughs at something I say, I turn to them and ask them if they were from the hot body contest at the bar next door. They say no and look confused. I say that’s to bad, I’ve been looking for the hot body girls. I thought you were them because I think you’re all HOT!!! I say it with a big smile at the end. Then one of my guy friends came up and started punching me in the chest and dragged me upstairs.

Those girls never moved from the place they were standing. I walked by them two other times and smiled and waved. All three of smiled back and waved at me. I never talked to them again because I am a coward.

Later on I am in the smoking area with my female wing. She doesn’t have any cigarettes so I ask a girl from a group of three pretty girls if I could have a cigarette. She gives me one, I give it to my wing. The girl asks me if I even smoke. I say no. She asks me if I want to try. I say sure. She lights my cigarette (disgusting) and we start talking to the group of girls.

One of them tells me she is 24. I pretend to be shocked and tell her she looks really young for her age. She works as a bartender at the bar we are at on Wednesdays and tells me I should stop by sometime. I tell her maybe I will. After talking to them for a while my female wing finishes her cigarette (I broke mine in half somehow) and we leave.

Later on that night my female wing and I are sitting down on a dancing stage on the dance floor talking. I see a couple of guys I know out of the dance floor and motion to them. They don’t see me, but in front of them a group of girls waves back to me. It’s the girls from the smoking area. They are motioning for me to come dance with them. So I walk over and start dancing with them.

We start dancing and I am freaking out. For some reason my moves don’t really seem to be all that suitable for group dancing. The girls keep hitting their beers together. I don’t have a beer. The bartender girl notices and gives me her beer. Take a swig and do a funny dance move at the same time. My female wing comes over and starts dancing near me (I love this girl).

Then I start to panic. What am I supposed to do? Should I try and grind with one of them? Will the friends get jealous if I try? Why can’t I dance right? I need help. I motion to the group of my guy friends to come dance with us. They immediately swarm in and start grinding with the different girls. The girls freak out and run off the dance floor. Oops!

Do I think I deserve a girlfriend? Good question… Yes because there are worse guys out there with nice girls. No because I can’t figure out how to get with a girl, so if I get a girlfriend and we break up I’ll be even older and still without a clue.

 

[freefalling]

Week 19 Update (Stuck)

There was really only one time this week where I had a chance to meet women. It was at a bar we went to. Right away I noticed that there was almost two guys for every girl. I tried to get my friends to change the bar, but they didn’t want to. I wonder if this bar attracted mostly guys, what type of bar attracts mostly women?

One of the guys I was out with is 32. He is overweight, and probably not someone that many women would find attractive. To make matters worse he was wearing a hideous patchwork t-shirt that looked like it might have been popular in 1984. He was completely wasted before we even got there.

Due to the high number of guys I had pretty much given up on looking for women and was watching other guys to see what they wore and checking out dance moves. While I was doing this the guy with the bad t-shirt was walking up to girls and talking to them, sometimes even when they appeared to be with their boyfriend.

I was there to witness one particularly bad approach. He walked up to this ugly girl and asked her how she was doing. Then she said, I don’t even know you, why are you talking to me? And then she turned around. He must have approached 10 to 15 girls. He didn’t get anywhere with any of them.

I feel like I made great progress when I first started this, but now for a while I kind of have been stuck on a plateau. I need to change something up, I’m not sure what though. I might start giving myself quotas to approach a certain number of girls each night and to stay until they reject me. I’m not quite sure what that will accomplish, but I have to change something because what I am doing now isn’t working…

 

[So Many Ways]

The only thing you should change is to STOP THINKING!!!. You're worrying about everything, what is she going to think about my dancing, worry, worry, worry, who gives a flying f*ck? Just do whatever you want and have fun!

You're doing great but you're killing yourself by thinking too much. Don't do it. Instead concentrate on having fun and the rest will fall into place. I know it's easier said than done but you must figure out a way to do it.

Anyway I can relate to alot of what you wrote and I know how hard it is, I'm going through it to, you're not the only one. Just try to make things as fun as possible. The girls seem to like you just fine.

 

[freefalling]

Week 23 update (You have a kid?)

I think I am at week 23. I am not really sure. I continue to be stuck. I wait all week for the weekend then when it comes I just stand there afraid to approach girls. For some reason I am more timid now then when I first started going to the bars.

The one good thing about the bars is there are so many girls running around. Sometimes it become impossibly easy to talk. One of these times was when I saw a girl who works at my doctor’s office. I talk to her every once and a while on the way out. I always kind of felt like she liked me. My drunk friend yells at me to get her number. So after about 2 minutes of talking she gives it to me and I am on my way.

I wait until Wednesday to call her. Then I set up a date to go to some fancy restaurant. I know the rules say the first date isn’t supposed to be like that, but I did it more for me because I really wanted to go to the restaurant.

On the date things seem to be going really well. I don’t really like her personality, but she is pretty and I am having a great time. Then she lets me know that she has a child. I act like it doesn’t bother me. I ask what her name is, how old she is etc. At the end of the night we are both sitting in my car while she spends forever looking for her keys. This was the real moment I was waiting for in the date. This is where I am supposed to lean over and kiss her. I haven’t kissed a girl in so long and I really want to feel a girl’s lips press against mine. I am freaked out about that kid and I don’t do it. She tells me she had a great time and to call her again then leaves.

I never call her back. I couldn’t handle her having a kid. All sorts of weird sick thoughts go through my head. The alpha male impregnated her now she is looking for an AFC to take care his baby while he goes off and ****s other girls. I knew something would be wrong with this girl because she seemed like she was into me. If I have sex with her she will try and get pregnant on purpose so I have to take care of her and her kid. I worked so hard to avoid getting a girl pregnant so I could at least keep my options open, now I am going to fall in love with this girl and inherit all the responsibilities of a kid just because of her mistake.

It doesn’t matter anymore, it has been 2 weeks and I never called her back.

My female wing has been calling me to hang out every once and a while. In the past I would think that this means she likes me and get my hopes up, but I think it really means that she is starting to trust me and see me as a real friend.

When I stopped asking Oneitis out I assumed that she would be upset at first, but then in time she would stop calling me. It is pretty much the way things have always gone. She keeps calling me once a month to go out to eat. This month she called two weeks in a row. Then this week she didn’t call. She is still dating that guy.

I think I am going to start asking for girls numbers really quick. I always think that I really have to hit it off with them before I can ask, but with this girl I only talked to her for 2 minutes and got it. I am going to say it like this:

Oh no! I would love to keep talking to you, but I have to go with my friends now. Do you want to give me your number so we can talk again sometime.

 

[warpy]

yeap thats gonna work out just fine man, just ask for the number and dont want too long for it.

you are doing better keep it up.

 

[OrioleMagic]

My advice to you is to find the least attractive woman you can stomach, f##k her, and regain your confidence. Just don't fall in love. When I was in my younger 20's, I tended to put women on a pedestal, its making you weak and destroying your game. Your d##k doesn't know the difference between a 6 or an 8.

 

[picard]

join the club. I am also a 40yr old virgin. The movie certainly is similar to my life. however I don't collect toy soldiers.

 

[freefalling]

Week 24 Update (Oneitis is single and I am screwed)

Here I am at a bar watching college basketball and right next to me are these two really pretty girls. I am scared to talk to them, but after watching them out of the corner of my eye and pretending to be really into the game I finally try and talk to one of them. Her friend must have left and gone to the bathroom or something because it was just her. I ask her if she thinks they can pull it out. She gives me an unfriendly look, says I don’t know then looks back at the TV.

I wonder why she came to a bar like this. Did she not expect that guys would try and talk to her? Or worse yet, is she there to meet guys, but all she really needed was 10 seconds of talking to me to know I am a loser?

After 6 months Oneitis finally dumped her druggy boyfriend. She almost seems to regret it. As she tells me I accept that I am going to have to make one last futile attempt at ****ing her.

Me: I had a dream about you.
Her: What was it?
Me: You were in my bed and you were not wearing any pants.

Her: My dad really likes you he thinks we should date. You and my ex boyfriend are the only two guys he ever liked.

Her: I need new friends. The problem I have is when I make guy friends they always want to hook up with me.
Me: Good luck finding a guy friend like that. My advice to you is to make girl friends.

She puts her hair down. I tell her she sheds like crazy and run my hand through her hair. She grabs my hand and holds it their. We sit there looking into each others eyes. She tells me she doesn’t want me to see how much hair will come out. It seems like we are about to have one of those play fight moments, but I just don’t know what to do and it ends awkwardly.

Her (as she leaves my car): I really need friends right now.

At first I thought the dad liking me was a good sign, but then I remembered the parents liking you is always the kiss of death. I hate her. I know it doesn’t make any sense, but I really do hate her.

Nothing has changed for me in the past 6 months since she blew me off. While she was off screwing some guy I never got any better with women. If she didn’t like me before there is no reason for her to like me now. I am still going to try, because I feel like it was dumb to stay on good terms with her so long only to give up when she is finally single.

I have to call her tonight. We are supposed to do all these different things next week. I’m going to blow it. Calling her is probably blowing it, I should probably be waiting, but I know she will just email me if I wait and I want to communicate with her by calling not email.

I need to try and stick my tongue in her mouth and end it. I need some sort of date that at the end I can just try and kiss her. I regretted so badly not trying to kiss her the first time, I just want to kiss her and if she slaps me or whatever then so be it.