Help, if you can

[GADavid]

My ex and I had a rocky relationship. I lied to her about some ridiculous things and she stopped loving me because of it. I needed to change and I knew she was worth it. I can admit my flaws.

She knows I was trying to win her back. She gave hope but I just found out she is seeing someone else. It makes me feel less than worthless. It feels like she is cheating on me. I know she gave up and we aren't together, but it still feels like hell. She won't be decent enough to respond when I called her on it. I'm in a very bad place and don't feel like I'm worth anything. I already told her I have tried to be good enough and that I can't try any longer. Then I said Good bye and that I loved her more than anything. I'm at rock bottom and don't see a out

 

[GADavid]

She'll probably never respond as she has already found someone. Our troubled past won't be worth the hassle to her. She meant everything to me.

Some back ground. I struggle with severe depression. I have as long as I can remember. I hold onto people I should forget and hate because I do not think I'll ever find anyone better. I'd rather be in a toxic relationship than feel completely alone.

 

[Amilz]

She'll probably never respond as she has already found someone. Our troubled past won't be worth the hassle to her. She meant everything to me.

Some back ground. I struggle with severe depression. I have as long as I can remember. I hold onto people I should forget and hate because I do not think I'll ever find anyone better. I'd rather be in a toxic relationship than feel completely alone.

I had depression for a long time. Still do really but not like I used to. And yea the alone thing is the hardest to deal with. You'll put up with people that you otherwise wouldn't if you didn't feel down. Think if you weren't depressed you might have been the one to leave her.

 

[GADavid]

I had depression for a long time. Still do really but not like I used to. And yea the alone thing is the hardest to deal with. You'll put up with people that you otherwise wouldn't if you didn't feel down. Think if you weren't depressed you might have been the one to leave her.

"Not like I used to".... How did you over come it to any degree? That level sounds pretty nice right now

 

[Amilz]

I quit caring about being depressed to the extent that I was and trying to fix it and just starting being more active in life. I allowed myself less time to get lost in my own world.

 

[LondonTowers]

First thing you need to do is realize you lost her because of your lack of self worth which happens when you are depressed. You now need a game plan to improve yourself and forget her and about LTR for now. I, like Amilz had depression that is far less present now. I lost a LTR over it too as I became weak and basically all my worse sides came out and I would let her treat me in a poor way due to fear of losing her and never finding anyone better. So start getting active. Begin with working out.. start slow, maybe a run around a block and lift some dumbbells. Trust me, you will keep reading in other posts how this will make you feel so much better and help you get over the heartbreak.. it is true. Start a new goal.. aim for something that will better your life like a degree or a job. Next become active in socializing, either existing friends or try to find new ones. You could sign up to a club like football/soccer as you will meet other people to go out with. Clean up your diet.. no sugary, processed stuff, keep it wholefoods and simple. All this while you must not contact your ex, start visualising what your ideal girl would be.. find pictures, think about some personality characteristics you would like and then once you've also learnt more about Game, you can start talking to girls, any girl. You are not looking for the One, just have fun and see how it goes. This whole process will take 18 months to complete. But if you stick to it and can muster the will to go through it all (workouts will help you get that will) THEN at some point next year you will be completely out of this rut. Your will not care about your ex by then and likely would be enjoying your life with a new girl/s.. even if she suddenly came back in your life.. she will be shocked at what she finds and you will have the cherry on top knowing your ex is attracted to you again. BUT do not just sit around and mull over everything, you are missing precious time.

On a side note, I have found these supplements good for depression while doing all the above:
- B Complex
- Omega 3
- St John Wort
- Vitamin D3

 

[GADavid]

First thing you need to do is realize you lost her because of your lack of self worth which happens when you are depressed. You now need a game plan to improve yourself and forget her and about LTR for now. I, like Amilz had depression that is far less present now. I lost a LTR over it too as I became weak and basically all my worse sides came out and I would let her treat me in a poor way due to fear of losing her and never finding anyone better. So start getting active. Begin with working out.. start slow, maybe a run around a block and lift some dumbbells. Trust me, you will keep reading in other posts how this will make you feel so much better and help you get over the heartbreak.. it is true. Start a new goal.. aim for something that will better your life like a degree or a job. Next become active in socializing, either existing friends or try to find new ones. You could sign up to a club like football/soccer as you will meet other people to go out with. Clean up your diet.. no sugary, processed stuff, keep it wholefoods and simple. All this while you must not contact your ex, start visualising what your ideal girl would be.. find pictures, think about some personality characteristics you would like and then once you've also learnt more about Game, you can start talking to girls, any girl. You are not looking for the One, just have fun and see how it goes. This whole process will take 18 months to complete. But if you stick to it and can muster the will to go through it all (workouts will help you get that will) THEN at some point next year you will be completely out of this rut. Your will not care about your ex by then and likely would be enjoying your life with a new girl/s.. even if she suddenly came back in your life.. she will be shocked at what she finds and you will have the cherry on top knowing your ex is attracted to you again. BUT do not just sit around and mull over everything, you are missing precious time.

On a side note, I have found these supplements good for depression while doing all the above:
- B Complex
- Omega 3
- St John Wort
- Vitamin D3

Thanks. I like that you give a realistic time line. I want everything to be okay tomorrow. I want to wake ups different person. 18 month sounds more real.

 

[Amilz]

I can't agree more with the working out advice. I remember getting in the best shape of my life after a hard break up. I was so down I had to talk myself in doing anything, even going to the gym. I started to focus on how working out made me feel and look that girls around me started to notice. Within a month I hardly thought about my ex.

I've always been muscular but skinny. When I added mass to it I was really surprised at the reactions I was getting from girls. I only gained like 10 pounds of muscle but my attitude towards myself and looking a little better made a big difference.

Of course, none of this will cure you of depression. But it will help you be more accepting of yourself which lessens it.

 

[RagingBalls]

My ex and I had a rocky relationship. I lied to her about some ridiculous things and she stopped loving me because of it. I needed to change and I knew she was worth it. I can admit my flaws.

She knows I was trying to win her back. She gave hope but I just found out she is seeing someone else. It makes me feel less than worthless. It feels like she is cheating on me. I know she gave up and we aren't together, but it still feels like hell. She won't be decent enough to respond when I called her on it. I'm in a very bad place and don't feel like I'm worth anything. I already told her I have tried to be good enough and that I can't try any longer. Then I said Good bye and that I loved her more than anything. I'm at rock bottom and don't see a out

This is the thing that you have to accept as bitter as it is. You had lied about ridiculous things and it must be so severe that she's had enough. That's the consequence of what you did and changing now would not help getting her back because you had broken her trust already.

Learn to forgive yourself and move on. People makes mistakes, and some of those mistakes cannot not be reversed. That's reality.

People come and go in our lives and those who you permits to stay must be valued and that includes being honest to them.

I know you're in a deep trench right now, but i guarantee you'll find peace with yourself by starting to forgive yourself first. then accept what happened and learn from it.

We never know what future might hold and i don't want you hoping she'll get back to you in the near future and so. What i want you to do is to not lose hope about yourself, that like you and everyone of us, we sometimes tend to look and do things without even thinking of the negative outcome.

It takes time, but you'll feel better.