The_Shnitz
Don Juan
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- Jan 21, 2004
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Please give me some advice...
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Help, i just can't be sociable...I just aint got any energy and im depressed
- Thread starter The_Shnitz
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"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
brainfreeze
Don Juan
Your situation is EXACTLY like mine, and I helped myself, heres how:
I found it impossible to socialise and were also very shy, and for years (since I was 15) I have change my ways. Like you, I have forced myself into situations as a way of facing my fear. I got into acting (which I enjoyed anyway) by taking a class in it at school. I slowly felt less nervous when having to get up and make a fool out of myself. I now have no problem at all in getting up in front of the crowd and many of my friends comment on my confidence.
I also found it really hard making conversation, and decided to take a part time job that would "teach" me these skills. I got a job as a bartender, not only did it help my social skills, I was able to sarge at the same time. I also plan to get a parttime job as a salesperson, where people HAVE to like you if you are to sell products. I am forcing myself to learn to socialise.
Also, read books. First of all read "How To Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. Just read this book. It will probably be in your library, I heard it is the most read "Self-Help" book of the 20th Century, and I can see why, Its pure gold. Also look up other self help books on socialising and related subjects, this will help you, as it did me.
That is how I helped myself. But I believe I am natural loner who has no genuine "love" for socialising, and possibly you are too, though that may not be so bad, many of the greatest men ever lived were loners. Sir Winston Churchill faced complete rejection from his parents, though became one of Britains most respected and admired leaders. It was he who also said "Solitary trees, if they grow at all, grow strong." and I agree with that.
If you want to talk about it some more, give me a PM
Brainfreeze
PS Master of the Universe's is also excellent for throwing yourself in to socialising.DJ BootCamp
I found it impossible to socialise and were also very shy, and for years (since I was 15) I have change my ways. Like you, I have forced myself into situations as a way of facing my fear. I got into acting (which I enjoyed anyway) by taking a class in it at school. I slowly felt less nervous when having to get up and make a fool out of myself. I now have no problem at all in getting up in front of the crowd and many of my friends comment on my confidence.
I also found it really hard making conversation, and decided to take a part time job that would "teach" me these skills. I got a job as a bartender, not only did it help my social skills, I was able to sarge at the same time. I also plan to get a parttime job as a salesperson, where people HAVE to like you if you are to sell products. I am forcing myself to learn to socialise.
Also, read books. First of all read "How To Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. Just read this book. It will probably be in your library, I heard it is the most read "Self-Help" book of the 20th Century, and I can see why, Its pure gold. Also look up other self help books on socialising and related subjects, this will help you, as it did me.
That is how I helped myself. But I believe I am natural loner who has no genuine "love" for socialising, and possibly you are too, though that may not be so bad, many of the greatest men ever lived were loners. Sir Winston Churchill faced complete rejection from his parents, though became one of Britains most respected and admired leaders. It was he who also said "Solitary trees, if they grow at all, grow strong." and I agree with that.
If you want to talk about it some more, give me a PM
Brainfreeze
PS Master of the Universe's is also excellent for throwing yourself in to socialising.DJ BootCamp