"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Help fixing it

Kamikazi1231

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So the basics. We've been together a little over 6 months. She is in fencing, orchestra, lots of other random crap and has very little time. I don't mind her not having time during the week cause I see her on the weekend. For the next couple months she's pretty much busy most of the weekends. She is uncomfortable with public displays of affection.

Okay so those were the basics. Now the question part. Basically the way we built the relationship put all the affection in "one basket." That all the affection happened when it was just us two in my room or basement on the weekend. Now that she is busy on most weekends that "basket" no longer exists. So I need advice on what to say to her to make her understand that we need to move the affection to the at school and after school during the week "basket."

Any advice besides next her is greatly appreciated.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Michele l'Arcangelo

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tell me why you need to do PDA at school to make up all the lost affection you don't have at private times... first off.. PDA is sick and i hate it... holding hands is fine... maybe a peck on the cheek or a hug...

but if i see you making out at school I'd hit you and tell you to get a room... i don't know you... but at my old school i always saw trashy people making out in the hall and almost going at it with each other.

don't look like those people...

anyways i wont assume TOO much of anything... that's just how i feel about PDA.

-----

okay now i'll give you advice...

she's busy... you're being a loser that's missing her while she has a life...

do something to make yourself busy.

plain and simple... DO SOMETHING TO MAKE YOURSELF BUSY... she can't get mad at you for having fun too... so find a passion and get a life (don't take that offensively).
 

Kamikazi1231

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No by PDA I meant she won't hold my hand, hug me, or give me a kiss on the cheek once and a while. Making out should be done in the privacy of your houses I agree. That's what I meant that there is no affection at all if we aren't alone... and alone doesn't exist at all right now. So she will barely say a word to me or look me in the eye.
 

dannowillbookem

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i did that with my girl. told her i cant take it anymore a few weeks ago...you'll be surprised at how fast those fencing lessons and orchestra practices will clear aside.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Kamikazi1231

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Thanks for the help lads. Didn't break it off but I made her sit down and talk about it. It's a wee bit better now and hopefully will keep going. If not I'll "take a break" from the relationship for awhile.
 

WC2

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Please bro, ditch her and move on. You're in high school. You're going to look back on these years and regret every second you spent with your controlling girlfriend who would never have sex, much less hold your hand.
 
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