Will try to make as short as possible.
Background, started dating a chick bout three years ago now. Beginning of relationship was a mess, not proud of anything that happened. Long story short, I hit it while she was still with her ex and she flip flopped between us for a month or so before I caught on. Got with her anyways after. Mostly because I wanted regular sex. Stupid but there it is.
Fast forwRd a year and the nightmare truly begins. She gets pregnant. This could only have happened if she missed her pill. Whether she did this purposefully is impossible to determine. Gave her benefit of the doubt though. Told her I did not want it, she was uncertain. Eventually, as I expected, she places the burden of choosing to abort or not on me. We all know what I chose. She is quite traumatized by the abortion, but I have dodged a bullet.
Afterwards I refuse to have sex with her unless I am physically present to witness her get a depo shot or implant. She complies. Over the next two years it becomes increasingly clear she wants to start a family. But claims she is willing to wait til I'm ready, despite the fact that I've told her its not happening for at least fifteen years (I'm 23). Whatever, dont care, just want regular sex and I do like the girl.
But as I expected, we've now reached an impass. The other day, she got her depO shot without me being presence, despite knowing I needed to be there and why. I have wanted out for some time now, and this would be a good opportunity. I dodged a bullet once. I would be fool to test my luck further.
But I can not get past the guilt. I know what I have to do, but it is still difficult. I broke up with her about a year in, but she begged and used our friends to get to me and I caved.
How can I get past this guilt? How to maintain the break up when I have no support and very little distance between the two of us? How to get past the inevitable point where I miss her a little and how to ignore her attempts to save the relationship, particularly when she uses our friends to come at me about it?
Background, started dating a chick bout three years ago now. Beginning of relationship was a mess, not proud of anything that happened. Long story short, I hit it while she was still with her ex and she flip flopped between us for a month or so before I caught on. Got with her anyways after. Mostly because I wanted regular sex. Stupid but there it is.
Fast forwRd a year and the nightmare truly begins. She gets pregnant. This could only have happened if she missed her pill. Whether she did this purposefully is impossible to determine. Gave her benefit of the doubt though. Told her I did not want it, she was uncertain. Eventually, as I expected, she places the burden of choosing to abort or not on me. We all know what I chose. She is quite traumatized by the abortion, but I have dodged a bullet.
Afterwards I refuse to have sex with her unless I am physically present to witness her get a depo shot or implant. She complies. Over the next two years it becomes increasingly clear she wants to start a family. But claims she is willing to wait til I'm ready, despite the fact that I've told her its not happening for at least fifteen years (I'm 23). Whatever, dont care, just want regular sex and I do like the girl.
But as I expected, we've now reached an impass. The other day, she got her depO shot without me being presence, despite knowing I needed to be there and why. I have wanted out for some time now, and this would be a good opportunity. I dodged a bullet once. I would be fool to test my luck further.
But I can not get past the guilt. I know what I have to do, but it is still difficult. I broke up with her about a year in, but she begged and used our friends to get to me and I caved.
How can I get past this guilt? How to maintain the break up when I have no support and very little distance between the two of us? How to get past the inevitable point where I miss her a little and how to ignore her attempts to save the relationship, particularly when she uses our friends to come at me about it?
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