help brahs, new GF seems to be still interested in EX or butthurt, Idk anymore

[randombrah1]

how do I even start, damn.

Well first lemme explain the dynamic of the relationship, we've been 3 months together, I control the frame, she initiates contact almost everyday (text me "I love you", "I miss you" and lovey dove stuff), I obviously care about her, everything would be perfect but then... red flags;
Even though she post things about us on fb and on my wall, theres something that caught my eye.

-She has posted songs implying that she is "over her ex" (the lyrics she quote, were something like "Now I've found the love of my life, and after all its amazing that we still can be friends")
-The other day she was checking her fb on her phone, I was minding my own bussiness but then I realized that she stills have him marked as "best friend" (you know, the feature where you get notifications of what is the other person doing)
-And a while ago she awared me that her ex tried to contact her (that he missed her and shiet)... her response is what got me thinking... "I cant"

Now im rethinking everything brahs, im pulling out emotionally of the relationship and im sure she is starting to realize this.

How to approach this situation?
am I overthinking?

 

[Solomon]

how do I even start, damn.

Well first lemme explain the dynamic of the relationship, we've been 3 months together, I control the frame, she initiates contact almost everyday (text me "I love you", "I miss you" and lovey dove stuff), I obviously care about her, everything would be perfect but then... red flags;
Even though she post things about us on fb and on my wall, theres something that caught my eye.?

Lol @ this stopped reading after "I love you"

How old are you 19?

You're a rebound guy, this chick is a FWB at best right now, spin other plates and Pump&Dump accordingly

 

[randombrah1]

Lol @ this stopped reading after "I love you"

How old are you 19?

You're a rebound guy, this chick is a FWB at best right now, spin other plates and Pump&Dump accordingly

im 22, shes 21.
I forgot to add that they broke up like 3 years ago and her ex already has been with his gf for like a year (I didnt even asked for this info, she was sharing it), and he was her first

FWB is what it seems to be the best idea, but yet again I might be overthinking. Need an outsider perspective.

 

[Lexington]

Looks like your girl has been Alpha Widowed.

Read up on it. I don't think there is much hope for this relationship.

 

[randombrah1]

Looks like your girl has been Alpha Widowed.

Read up on it. I don't think there is much hope for this relationship.

ho lee fuk

that hit me right in the face...

Well, pretty much fuked situation. I think im breaking up with her in a few days.

guys, is there a way to change this? you know, like letting her down easily and with a healthier outlook for relationships?

 

[betheman]

Looks like your girl has been Alpha Widowed.

Read up on it. I don't think there is much hope for this relationship.

very much agree with this, 3 years and she is still not over him? there is a lot of this about, even mature women still have the feelers for that ex SOB and will bang him at the drop of a hat. anyone else (except a newer, more alpha, higher value alpha)has little hope of winning this 'fair maidens heart'!

fwb is the way to go

 

[Jitterbug]

-She has posted songs implying that she is "over her ex" (the lyrics she quote, were something like "Now I've found the love of my life, and after all its amazing that we still can be friends")

This is always a reliable sign that someone is trying really hard to convince herself of the opposite of what she is feeling.

If she's over him, he's not even a thought on her mind.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

very much agree with this, 3 years and she is still not over him? there is a lot of this about, even mature women still have the feelers for that ex SOB and will bang him at the drop of a hat. anyone else (except a newer, more alpha, higher value alpha)has little hope of winning this 'fair maidens heart'!

fwb is the way to go

TRUE F-ING STORY!

Don't ignore this red flag OP, plenty of chicks out there that are not friends with the ex's. Low quality chicks like to keep there ex's on strings, just the slightest tug and the AFC is at her knees......OH we are just friends....we keep in touch. Such BS........

 

[Bible_Belt]

Love never goes completely away. A part of her will love him forever. But that does not mean that she does not love you. It does not take anything away from your relationship, unless you let it.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Random,
Lemme for let me,yet you use the words devious and perspective?are you a Troll Brah?

 

[son]

Keep a rotation going bro. With options, I have a feeling you would get over this girl in short order, and maintain the ability to bang her when things get slow for you elsewhere.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Moved to General Discussion. OP, you need to put your age in your profile to post in MM.

 

[randombrah1]

^^^^

If she's posting or talking about how she's over him.....she isn't over him.


Lots of other great responses in this thread. Absolutely and alpha-widow.

shiet, well, I think I handled this in one stupid way...
might actually have fuked up it up... or not...

see brahs, I called her out on it, I told her that it looks like she isnt over her ex
her response: "sometimes I post things just for the sake of doing it"
I was thinking "damn this girl must be used to get things to go her way, this is such BS"
then she started crying saying things like "you dont trust me", "I wanna be with you", "I wont do it again"..."why dont you trust me?"
I said: "look I trust you but there isnt much congruency with what you say and what you do, thats why I question things, if you feel like you shouldnt be in a relationship, just say it", the we left the park.

I was kinda mad at her for reacting that way so I just keep quiet while we were walking to her house to drop her off. She kept crying and every once in a while asking why was I mad.
I told her "I told you what I think, I thought we could handle this like adults and you go with petty justifications. That behaviour is something off limits for me". After this she didnt said anything, nor did I, just hugged for a bit.

Then she asked me if I wanted to be in a relationship with her (I wasnt saying anything, just walking), I said yes (fuk, a part of me wants to break up with her but I actually care and wanna be with her).
anyway, dropped her off. I got home and I had this long ass msg in whatsapp from her, basically telling me that she loves me.

This was on thursday.

On friday, we see each other, everything seems cool. Saturday, I go to her house to chill a while, things look just fine.
Today no contact at all, nor from me nor her. Not even phased by it.

whats the outsider perspective on this? (related on I handled it)
I just couldnt think on other way to explain to her that there are limits.

 

[randombrah1]

thanks, currently searching for that option.

and to everyone contributing, this is greatly appreciated, im learning so much from this forum, I think I love you all (no homo)

 

[randombrah1]

Love never goes completely away. A part of her will love him forever. But that does not mean that she does not love you. It does not take anything away from your relationship, unless you let it.

but who was how?

aware me brah