Help/Advice on girl that is highly interested then disappears...

[MurphyL]

I would like some help and/or advice on how to deal with this current situation. This girl I recently met at the gym I asked to take out to dinner to which she not only said yes but seemed very eager to let me take her out. When I mentioned that I was glad she said yes she even said that she was glad I asked. Then when the day came she doesn't respond to my texts, of which I sent only three btw... 1. To tell what restaurant I wanted to go to and to ask if she wanted me to pick her up 2. Which I sent many hours later after she did not respond asking simply "are we still on for tonight or no?" 3. The final text simply saying that I was still interested in taking her out to dinner sometime and saying that I might have to bug her a little bit until she said no.

None of these received a response of any kind and the "delivered" box is still under the last one. The only thing I can think is that my first text I sent too early in the day which maybe made me look too eager, tbh I was just trying to plan out my day, also probably a turnoff. Anyway, obviously there isn't going to be a logical explanation I was just curious how more mature and experienced members would recommend proceeding. This is not the only girl I have on my agenda so I have no problem "nexting" her trust me but at the same time she seemed ready to go when I last talked to her and when I explained that I was going to bug her a bit until she gave an official "no" she said nothing. Which technically isn't no.

Current plan is to wait until the end of the week or into next week and ask to take her to dinner again. If nothing happens maybe repeat. Like I said I know other women so it's not hard to wait but what would be optimal in terms of timing do you think? Or rather, simply how can you be confidently persistent without being desperate?

 

[MurphyL]

This is my initial reaction to this type of behavior. You do realize that there are numerous articles on this website advising the complete opposite of this right? Like this one... http://www.sosuave.com/articles/at/persistence.htm which states repeatedly that women don't show up for dates and don't answer the phone etcetera etcetera...

 

[skinnyguy]

You're really horney and desperate. This is normal for women. She has way more options than you so you'll have to back off and find a new girl.

 

[Jetleg]

You were her plan B.

Then you sent the first two texts, you went to plan C.

Last text took you to planet zoltron, you Dont even exists to her.

Come back to earth, stop being so desperate brother. Next time you text her the place and the time, and if she doesnt anwer you next her.

 

[Juanto]

This is my initial reaction to this type of behavior. You do realize that there are numerous articles on this website advising the complete opposite of this right? Like this one... http://www.sosuave.com/articles/at/persistence.htm which states repeatedly that women don't show up for dates and don't answer the phone etcetera etcetera...

Waste of time, patience and resources on women who arent interested in you. What a great strategy.

 

[Roober]

A couple mistakes...
-time and place should have been decided wayyyy ahead of time
-send one text shortly before confirming? There is multiple opinions on this one

The tennis ball is in her court. If you didn't hear back from confirmation, assume it's done and wait until she replies. Next if no response, otherwise, try to get one more date if she does respond. Be totally casual about it like it didn't bother you one bit, because you made other plans.

 

[JJMcLure]

Why do you want to buy her dinner? Start off with something informal like getting coffee. Your frame was weak, you say you are glad she is "letting you" take her out. Your mindset should be that you are doing her a favor (aren't you a great guy? won't she have a good time? how many people buy you dinner?) Don't put chicks on a pedestal.

In any case, the details should have been arranged prior to the day. The fact she didn't reply at all is a rejection and not very respectful (she did not even give you the courtesy of an excuse). So by you then saying you will bug her until she says no communicates low value but also inexperience (you didn't get the hint but also apparently aren't aware that many chicks don't like giving an explicit no). You say she is highly interested but would you not say her actions (in contrast to her words) demonstrate low interest? If she had high interest she would have at least replied.

 

[MurphyL]

Okay so here's what I'm getting from all this. My plan is flawless. I know exactly what I'm doing. There was honestly no point in me even making this post because I already achieved perfect execution and everyone is taking notes and studying me under a microscope. Got it.

 

[RangerMIke]

Attractive women have lots of options. You are nothing more than an 'option'. Don't take it personal because you should have the same attitude with women as well.

She had borderline interest in you. But when you asked her out you should have made the date clear... where you are going, what time you are going to meet or where to pick her up. If she gives you any answer other then 'Okay', or a counter-offer, then the answer is no. If she starts being wishy-washy, she wants you to take the hint and stop asking her out.

My guess is that you asked for a ubiquitous date. "Hey, how about dinner Thursday?", she likely at that point said, 'Sure", at that point you should have locked down the place and time, on the spot.... my guess is that you did not.... which turned her off. You had to text her to lock down the logistics. Before you ask out a woman, have in your mind, what you are doing, and where you are doing it.

After you ask out a woman, make sure she has ALL the information she needs so that you don't need to reach out to her. Often times she will reach out to you, and if this happens this is a good sign of high interest. When she does this just tell her not to worry about anything except showing up and looking hot, this is EXACTLY what she wants you to tell her.

When you make dates and then NOT text to make sure 'everything is okay', expect that every now and then you'll show up and she is either not ready, or stands you up. You can not worry about this, this is what chicks do, and when it happens take it as a sign of low interest and move onto the next one.

When you start texting too much and acting like a dog that's found a bone, you turn her off, this kind of behavior does you no good at all.

 

[dude99]

I would like some help and/or advice on how to deal with this current situation. This girl I recently met at the gym I asked to take out to dinner to which she not only said yes but seemed very eager to let me take her out. When I mentioned that I was glad she said yes she even said that she was glad I asked. Then when the day came she doesn't respond to my texts, of which I sent only three btw... 1. To tell what restaurant I wanted to go to and to ask if she wanted me to pick her up 2. Which I sent many hours later after she did not respond asking simply "are we still on for tonight or no?" 3. The final text simply saying that I was still interested in taking her out to dinner sometime and saying that I might have to bug her a little bit until she said no.

None of these received a response of any kind and the "delivered" box is still under the last one. The only thing I can think is that my first text I sent too early in the day which maybe made me look too eager, tbh I was just trying to plan out my day, also probably a turnoff. Anyway, obviously there isn't going to be a logical explanation I was just curious how more mature and experienced members would recommend proceeding. This is not the only girl I have on my agenda so I have no problem "nexting" her trust me but at the same time she seemed ready to go when I last talked to her and when I explained that I was going to bug her a bit until she gave an official "no" she said nothing. Which technically isn't no.

Current plan is to wait until the end of the week or into next week and ask to take her to dinner again. If nothing happens maybe repeat. Like I said I know other women so it's not hard to wait but what would be optimal in terms of timing do you think? Or rather, simply how can you be confidently persistent without being desperate?

3 ignored texts equals no interest. Any more attempts to bug this girl will show you are weak and annoy her.

She is hoping you will take a hint. My advice. Next her and meet new women. Interested women don't ignore you.

 

[dude99]

Okay so here's what I'm getting from all this. My plan is flawless. I know exactly what I'm doing. There was honestly no point in me even making this post because I already achieved perfect execution and everyone is taking notes and studying me under a microscope. Got it.

Judging by this immature response i am understanding why she ignored you.

 

[Roober]

Girls are just weird...
I had one that had interest. I asked her out on a Friday, she had plans and countered with Saturday night. I couldn't make that work (was with my now ex gf... doh!). Tried again two weeks later and she was busy. Tried one more time and I got "I actually can't". Then gave some bs about how she is getting over a breakup, and said "I hope when I am ready, you don't ignore me" and I said... "if your lucky =)"

Point is... she had interest initially (i think), she even said she has a bf when she gave me her number, and then it waned afterward... Until you have them hooked (i.e. secks, or solid date), interest can easily come and go...