hello everyone..

[Reluctant_Seducer]

well..I have decided to finally be true with myself and leave the ego and BS at the door..handle my real issues and finally be confident with woman,sex and relationships.

In the past I used to disillusion myself my acting like I was the man and faking it til making it..but in actually I was a hoax.I have been through many phases and learned many many lessons and it's about time I gain confidence in myselfand my sexuality once and for all.

Not only that but dealing with my insecurities and issues with other men..having a troubled and splintered relationship with my dad,ambiguous and troubling in nature..it was my only model for relationships/friendships with other men.They all proved to be either troubling as well or brought up feelings of both hatred and affection..either way I didn't know how to deal with them without feeling like a total queernut about it.I honestly feel like such a fag most of the time when I do want the approval of other men..it angers me and makes me even more insecure,it reminds me of the attention I seek from my dad...don't get it wrong though,I will fawk you up lol.:kick:

I see myself as a leader and a rebel,though only by default because I have such a hard time just relating to other men comfortably without constantly trying to '1-up' them or asserting dominance even when there is no need.I simply don't know how to express positive emotions with other men ,I either have to dominate or be on the outside looking in.


With woman,I am simply terrified of the feelings they bring about in me..not all of them,just the ones I am horribly attracted to.Its usually not the feeling in my pants but the feeling of being totally overwhelmed and losing control that freaks me out..it reminds me of the times when I first have sex with a girl..I get soo excited and anxious..everytime I feel this way,sexually related or not..it reminds me of foreplay and sex for the first time.EVERYTIME feels like the first time with me and it's ALWAYS an event.I just never got past the butterflies and anxiety phase of sex. It feels good and all but it scares the crap out of me at the same time.

I call myself the reluctant seducer because that's just how I am..I can attract and gain interest in girls initially but I am soo reluctant to move further simply because of fear..not nessessarily fear of rejection or commitment..but fear of those intense feelings of sex and intimacy..it's overwhelming and I loose control..I think I fear losing control the most.

Having sex,making love,becoming one with a girl is soo overwhelming..I fear I may die if I just let go,like my life force will leave me through my penis lol.
This sounds crazy I know but it's just soo overwhelming.Masturbating sucks..not even close to the real thing.

I am here to get over my irrational fears,not a noob to any of this stuff..not a virgin,not ugly and not fat.I just have alot of hang ups concerning sex..
I have quite a wealth of information to share if anyone is interested.


anyways..thanks for reading :wave:

 

[Mr.Positive]

Having sex,making love,becoming one with a girl is soo overwhelming..I fear I may die if I just let go,like my life force will leave me through my penis lol.:

How old are you? Listen, if it helps any, try not to take life so seriously.

Have fun with everything, women...make mistakes, laugh at them. All to often we analyze things way too much. Sex is to be enjoyed, so is just having fun with women.

It sounds like you are just thinking too much, your mind is giving women too much power over you. Live life one day at a time, and focus on other things that give you more of a peace of mind.

 

[Reluctant_Seducer]

How old are you? Listen, if it helps any, try not to take life so seriously.

Have fun with everything, women...make mistakes, laugh at them. All to often we analyze things way too much. Sex is to be enjoyed, so is just having fun with women.

It sounds like you are just thinking too much, your mind is giving women too much power over you. Live life one day at a time, and focus on other things that give you more of a peace of mind.

thats true..I am naturally a brain.Emotions actually frighten the hell out of me because they can't always be classified into little neat compartments and organizations lol. I usually only go for the 'safe chicks' while avoiding the ones that made my heart skip a beat and flutter..mostly out of fear but more so out of not wanting to be consumed with..lust,love or whatever I was feeling.I am a very deep person and I feel every pin prick..it makes it hard so I just block it out and have created this huge wall around myself..the only problem is that it not only keeps people out..but it keeps ANYONE from getting in nor me getting out.A lonely place it is..but I am working on it.

In my younger years when I didn't care soo much I actually had more success..when aging,i have become stilted,jaded and jinxed.

I am 27 going on 18 all over again.

I am trying to be as honest with my goals and where I am at right now..

 

[Reluctant_Seducer]

sometimes I want to just fawk the brains out of a girl other times I just want to beat the living shiet out of every guy I see..I don't understand these emotions,though I would never act them out.It sometimes disturbs me for having them...it perplexes me yet entices me.

Sorry if they seem inappropriate for the site but that's just how I feel.I am a young man with soo much energy and no outlet sometimes it gets the best of meh....

 

[MikeYikes122]

I'm one of the posters on this board who doesn't like to be negative or condescending, but your post is forcing me to break my regular tendencies.

No offense man, but you sound like a girl. Afraid of emotions and attachment and intimacy? I have a second cousin who is a real good friend of mine. She is extremely hot and is petrified of guys and emotional attachment and all the things you listed.

I mean, I guess I can relate to a few things you wrote. Sometimes when I'm around other alpha male types I have a hard time interacting and assuming my usual role in the group. But usually I just kickback and it's not that big of a deal.

You're just thinking too much, like the previous poster said. You just have to get out of your own head and learn how to act without thinking. Just read the DJ Bible and some posts here. Eventually you'll right your ship.

 

[Reluctant_Seducer]

I'm one of the posters on this board who doesn't like to be negative or condescending, but your post is forcing me to break my regular tendencies.

No offense man, but you sound like a girl. Afraid of emotions and attachment and intimacy? I have a second cousin who is a real good friend of mine. She is extremely hot and is petrified of guys and emotional attachment and all the things you listed.

I mean, I guess I can relate to a few things you wrote. Sometimes when I'm around other alpha male types I have a hard time interacting and assuming my usual role in the group. But usually I just kickback and it's not that big of a deal.

You're just thinking too much, like the previous poster said. You just have to get out of your own head and learn how to act without thinking. Just read the DJ Bible and some posts here. Eventually you'll right your ship.

don't get me wrong..i do best in don't act just do type situations but when it comes to slowing down and letting people in..it kinda just hits the breaks.

I will try to let girls in a little more and be less abrasive around other men..

my goal really is just to be more comfortable the girls I actually like and make my heart skip a beat...

I am just a very intense person in general.

 

[STR8UP]

In my younger years when I didn't care soo much I actually had more success..when aging,i have become stilted,jaded and jinxed.

I am 27 going on 18 all over again.

There's your problem. You're too OLD. Give up now, you're WAY over the hill.

What's with you 20 somethings thinking you're "old". Jeezus, I'm 36 and feel like I'm in my early 20's....

About your problem- I don't know what to tell you. Sex is sex. you right hand is your right hand. They can both get you off. What's the big deal?

I have struggled with social anxiety issues my entire life, and I can honestly say that I have NEVER experienced any kind of anxiety when I had a naked chick next to me.

Why are you placing so much emphasis on the act of sex? All you are doing is sticking your willy in a wet hole.

 

[Reluctant_Seducer]

There's your problem. You're too OLD. Give up now, you're WAY over the hill.

What's with you 20 somethings thinking you're "old". Jeezus, I'm 36 and feel like I'm in my early 20's....

About your problem- I don't know what to tell you. Sex is sex. you right hand is your right hand. They can both get you off. What's the big deal?

I have struggled with social anxiety issues my entire life, and I can honestly say that I have NEVER experienced any kind of anxiety when I had a naked chick next to me.

Why are you placing so much emphasis on the act of sex? All you are doing is sticking your willy in a wet hole.

not soo much the act of sex but all of the feelings that accompany it..with regular ho hum girls it really doesn't matter,with the ones I am REALLY attracted to,there seems to be soo much anxiety surrounding it..not sure why,I think it's the fear of being totally consumed by her and getting pvssy whooped lol.

Yeah,I am 27..I know it's not technically 'old' but I sometimes feel like it.

I am aware of my issues and what I need to work on,it's not like I am a total noob or clueless about the entire thing..just an introduction to me being here.

 

[squirrels]

How old are you? Listen, if it helps any, try not to take life so seriously.

Have fun with everything, women...make mistakes, laugh at them. All to often we analyze things way too much. Sex is to be enjoyed, so is just having fun with women.

It sounds like you are just thinking too much, your mind is giving women too much power over you. Live life one day at a time, and focus on other things that give you more of a peace of mind.

Yeah, dude. Just let it be.

 

[Reluctant_Seducer]

Yeah, dude. Just let it be.

thats what I have been doing recently..just allowing things just to happen,the anxiety,fear whatever I am feeling..and just roll with it.Instead of running from it..just deal with it.Later on with a cool head,I notice that it's not such a big deal..after time and reintroduced to those feelings/situations again and again...I get over it.

Also ,I used to attach meaning to EVERYTHING..and taking things personal,every little thing.I realized..most everything in the social world should be taken as face value unless intentionally personally attacked.

now it's like..whatever whatever..

I know the thing I have to work on most is just getting along with other guys,without feeling defensive or trying to stake my territory (the area I keep) not saying I am AFC but I do consider myself as a natural ALPHA type..I just go at it alone.I work fine with other men..it's just the social sense I have trouble.


I don't mind about my insecurities around girls..it's not like I am a virgin or never been in love.Just right now I have been in a long long sulking phase for some reason concerning love,sex and relationships..it's like a mixture of anger,bitterness and resentment..


gotta work on it..going out this weekend just to talk to some girls..can hardly wait.