Heirarchy of Needs

[everywomanshero]

Something I have noticed about guys who "learn the game" is there is a certain heirarchy of needs that helps to determine what kind of success they seek with women.



Level 3: Strongly Sexual needs
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Level 2: Emotional Closeness needs
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Level 1: Escape from Isolation needs
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Escape from Isolation needs (bottom):
At level 1 these guys are incredibly messed up. They are isolated from women (and likely from just about everyone) in their personal lives. They tend to have heavily biased views of the world that are unproductive, which is probably what led to the isolation in the first place. These guys have not learned to stop the obsessive negative thinking that led them to this place of extreme need.

Emotional Closeness Needs:
Once the escape from isolation has occured, these guys seek attention from women, it can be sexual or cuddling or something else but there is a need for general validation present. I've actually talked to guys who paid *hookers* just to *cuddle* to demonstrate how powerful these needs can be. I think guys in this stage just need to chill a bit and realize that when one does the right things, the women will come. They probably still come off a bit needy, especially at the bottom rung of this level.

Strong Sexual Needs:
Once the emotional needs are dealt with, I believe men tend to focus more strongly on sexual needs. Think about it, after you've had a gf for a while I bet you started to think about other women in a more strong sexual state. You really don't need attention and you already have friends, so your free to concentrate on this when you want. There could be a biological predisposition to this.

This isn't any sort of scientific theory, just something I've observed. I'm not interested in men, lol, so the value of this post is to realize what stage you are in and realize that A) Yes, other people go through this (many times) and B) That whatever stage you are in it is situationally induced and if you do the right things you will always get to another stage.

 

[LegendBoy]

Very good analysis. Its very true I am in the middle stage at the moment, for some odd reason I long for a girl I can kick it with at nights and just cuddle and talk and all that ****t.

 

[Demon]

I would say the ideal position is between Level 2 and Level 3 -- not that I credit your analysis with scientific merit. Instead, refer to Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. I'm constantly self-actualizing, and thus I'm driven to women who are also self-actualizing. I could care less for women who are going nowhere in life. Ambition and passion play a large part in my life and so I expect the same of my partners.

In my opinion, those who restrict themselves to Level 3 are shallow and repugnant. For example, some guys think of women in terms of utility. "They're just holes to get your prick wet." I've heard that more often than I've cared to hear. If you're not living for the experience of life, you're not living at all; you might as well be dead.

Since this topic is related to psychology, I would recommend completing at least an introduction to psychology course. I guarantee you that education when applied to real-world pursuits will greatly affect the way you play the game. (This is a general recommendation and is not directed at any specific user.)

 

[everywomanshero]

You know, Demon, I should've added a level 4: Truly qualifying women and being comfortable with self.

That is a lot different than needing something from the general populas of women, and it's different than being the 'nasty nerd' who tries to pretend he doesn't care what women think only to come across as weird. If I like her, then I *do* care what she thinks. I just don't need her to think a certain thing, and I won't be let down because every interaction has some value. That is how I think of this thing.

I don't think this level can really be faked, I think it's something one has to truly reach. I've seen guys who recognize it and try to fake it only to come across much worse than if they just didn't try that at all. But it's something everyone on this forum is capable of reaching.