Heartbroken and reeling

[mason80]

Guys:

I am really hurting at the moment. This girl I was hanging out with told me she didnt want to see me anymore or be a friend. We were starting out as friends. She noted that we had alot of things in common and I believe going to take it to the next the level with me if things continued to go well. Unfortunately, we were/are both busy at the moment, and taking idiotic advice from my mother I decided to end the friendship. However I wanted to start the friendship again as I wanted to see her. I acted like a jerk(by using some sarcasm) to her as she was frustrating me and really hurt by what I said. She said I called her a "disposable friend" which I dont her consider that. I profusedly apologized to her but she wont accept them. I am really heart broken at the moment. I also am allowing her some space and distance. She also said that I needed to get my "head on straight". I refuse to give up on the issue but she says I have no choice. She is the first women that I had feelings for in years. What to do? I want to her again after we have both cooled down. I want to move on but I cant with her as she someone who has actually given me respect. The help is appreciated.

 

[Desdinova]

We were starting out as friends. She noted that we had alot of things in common and I believe going to take it to the next the level with me if things continued to go well.

There's two things you need to learn here...

1) NEVER start a relationship as friends and hope it progresses into more. It rarely does. You NEED to start the relationship on a sexual note and develop the friendship as time passes.

2) Never believe what a woman says unless her actions match it. If she wasn't wanting to fvck you from day one, she will most likely never fvck you.

Unfortunately, we were/are both busy at the moment, and taking idiotic advice from my mother I decided to end the friendship.

That was not idiotic advice. She told you to drop the woman you had one-itis for. You need to move on and find a woman who is interested in you sexually. You've wasted a lot of time pouring time and emotional energy into a woman who is NOT deserving of it.

I refuse to give up on the issue but she says I have no choice.

It's likely that she's got a bf on the radar who doesn't want her hanging out with pathetic men who desperately want to fvck her. That means you.

She is the first women that I had feelings for in years.

It's a one way street. She has none for you. Quit pouring time and energy into a lost cause.

What to do?

Scroll down to the bottom of the page, click on the link that says "DJ Bible", and spend a few days reading.

 

[SoSuave666]

Haha, it's funny man...both your mom AND the girl you were after both told you the same advice you're going to get from everyone here. They are:

a.) Don't be her friend.

b.) You have no choice but to give up on her and leave her be.

This baby doesn't want you to be obsessed with her like you are. She also doesn't want to secks you up. Drop tha broad and get back in the game with someone who wants you.

Also, you are a new guy so reading the dj bible will help, as des said.

 

[betheman]

also, she is gagging on some other guys d!ck, dont take it personally

 

[TRSX]

Yeah dude, theres plenty of women out there. Your mom gives good advice. Sounds like she friend-zoned you, felt bad so started dating you, and then couldn't do it.

Get your pole out and start fishing

 

[bigneil]

Guys:

I am really hurting at the moment. This girl I was hanging out with told me she didnt want to see me anymore or be a friend. We were starting out as friends. She noted that we had alot of things in common and I believe going to take it to the next the level with me if things continued to go well. Unfortunately, we were/are both busy at the moment, and taking idiotic advice from my mother I decided to end the friendship. However I wanted to start the friendship again as I wanted to see her. I acted like a jerk(by using some sarcasm) to her as she was frustrating me and really hurt by what I said. She said I called her a "disposable friend" which I dont her consider that. I profusedly apologized to her but she wont accept them. I am really heart broken at the moment. I also am allowing her some space and distance. She also said that I needed to get my "head on straight". I refuse to give up on the issue but she says I have no choice. She is the first women that I had feelings for in years. What to do? I want to her again after we have both cooled down. I want to move on but I cant with her as she someone who has actually given me respect. The help is appreciated.

Your mistakes in bold.

 

[JohnChops]

Moms always give great advice . Yeah seriously theres about 3.5 billion more women out there, time to go explore to find some! You wont get over her in 5 minutes, only time will "heal" your "wounds" but as you start to find other women youll be fine. Doctors diagnosis : Your going to be A-OK KID!

 

[stan1965]

help please

I am with a women i have know for almost 4 years now. she hardly ever lets me come to her place and if i show up she makes me stay outside in my car until a certain hour then comes out to talk with me ...even if we have sex it is in the car ...i can never go to her place when i ask about it she blows up and makes me feel guilty...if i do get to come to her place once in a blue moon i have to get out i can never stay all night... i don't understand she has no children and lives alone. I pay for her car and her car insurance and her rent after i pay on it she ignores me . she drinks and hangs out at the club all hours of the night . I have not met any of her friends or family. She embarrasses me in public all the time. I always pay for everything and she does nothing for me. When I lost my job she did nothing to help me after all i did everything for her. My best friend helped me look for work and she purchased cloths for me and paid my cell phone of course she does not know my best friend because I never hang out or spend much time with my best friend of 14 years but i know she will always be there if i need her...My bestfriend tells me that she is cheating because of the way she treats me but i ignore her ... i like this girl but when i ask her to officially announce that we are girlfriend and boyfriend ...she says we are just friends but keeps sleeping with me in the car and taking all my money ...she says she loves me don't want to lose my friendship but i have no car she won't even pick me up from work ...is my girl cheating on me?

 

[Purefilth]

I am with a women i have know for almost 4 years now. she hardly ever lets me come to her place and if i show up she makes me stay outside in my car until a certain hour then comes out to talk with me ...even if we have sex it is in the car ...i can never go to her place when i ask about it she blows up and makes me feel guilty...if i do get to come to her place once in a blue moon i have to get out i can never stay all night... i don't understand she has no children and lives alone. I pay for her car and her car insurance and her rent after i pay on it she ignores me . she drinks and hangs out at the club all hours of the night . I have not met any of her friends or family. She embarrasses me in public all the time. I always pay for everything and she does nothing for me. When I lost my job she did nothing to help me after all i did everything for her. My best friend helped me look for work and she purchased cloths for me and paid my cell phone of course she does not know my best friend because I never hang out or spend much time with my best friend of 14 years but i know she will always be there if i need her...My bestfriend tells me that she is cheating because of the way she treats me but i ignore her ... i like this girl but when i ask her to officially announce that we are girlfriend and boyfriend ...she says we are just friends but keeps sleeping with me in the car and taking all my money ...she says she loves me don't want to lose my friendship but i have no car she won't even pick me up from work ...is my girl cheating on me?

bloded the main reds here... WTF??? are you serious? If this isnt a prank post... Dude, sack up and walk, this woman is a controlling manipulative bvtch!! Walk now do not contact her ever again. she doesnt love you and she never will, she doesnt even respect you. pay nothing more lose no more sleep, walk, and find someone worthwhile.

we will help you on your journey, but you cannot live like this!!
NO CONTACT STARTS NOW!

 

[stan1965]

this is no joke

i am unsure what i'm doing wrong with her ...

 

[perseverance]

also, she is gagging on some other guys d!ck, dont take it personally

No need for these type of comments, it sounds as though you're deliberately trying to add yet more misery and sadness to this fella.

This OP sounds like me several years ago, but the good news for him is these harsh realities are a good life lesson and will put him in good stead for the future. Your Mother didn't give you poor advice, Mason! Your Mother gave you the best possible advice. A friendship cannot work when one person has deeper feelings for that person that goes well beyond the realms of friendship. You only want to be her friend because you believe that somewhere down the line, you'll get with her and everything will be hunky dorey. Well my friend, while that might well happen to the smallest minority of men outside of Hollywood lights, it doesn't happen to most men, so it's not worth it.

I'd cut your losses and move on and never make a priority when you're only an option. You need to find a girl who likes you, because as I hate to add further salt to your fresh wounds, she's just not into you.

 

[perseverance]

i am unsure what i'm doing wrong with her ...

Being a doormat and a slave is the biggest mistake you're making. This isn't a case of a girlfriend and a boyfriend, this is a case of the master and the slave. Get yourself out of this unhealthy situation as quickly as possible.

 

[headFirst]

i am unsure what i'm doing wrong with her ...

You are paying for sex...

The only concern she had when you lost your job is if you were going to still be able to pay for her car insurance.

Here is what I would do. Take her to a nice dinner, very elegant.. Tell her to dress nice. You dress very nice too. Pick her up after hours when it is "safe" and convenient for her. Order her and you the most expensive dish.

After you eat, hell order desert.. even order her and you a bottle of wine.. the $100 one. Then when you are finished, tell her you left your wallet in the car.. Get up and leave and drive home man and never look back.

Leave the bill for her, ignore all her calls, and move on with your life. Consider it your last supper

 

[RedScorpion]

I am with a women i have know for almost 4 years now. she hardly ever lets me come to her place and if i show up she makes me stay outside in my car until a certain hour then comes out to talk with me ...even if we have sex it is in the car ...i can never go to her place when i ask about it she blows up and makes me feel guilty...if i do get to come to her place once in a blue moon i have to get out i can never stay all night... i don't understand she has no children and lives alone. I pay for her car and her car insurance and her rent after i pay on it she ignores me . she drinks and hangs out at the club all hours of the night . I have not met any of her friends or family. She embarrasses me in public all the time. I always pay for everything and she does nothing for me. When I lost my job she did nothing to help me after all i did everything for her. My best friend helped me look for work and she purchased cloths for me and paid my cell phone of course she does not know my best friend because I never hang out or spend much time with my best friend of 14 years but i know she will always be there if i need her...My bestfriend tells me that she is cheating because of the way she treats me but i ignore her ... i like this girl but when i ask her to officially announce that we are girlfriend and boyfriend ...she says we are just friends but keeps sleeping with me in the car and taking all my money ...she says she loves me don't want to lose my friendship but i have no car she won't even pick me up from work ...is my girl cheating on me?

You already know the red flags. You wrote them out yourself. Look at your 'relationship' with her and any other relationship, and ask yourself 'Is this normal?'. She is completely using you, and you know it. The thing that is holding you back (and like myself with another girl), is that you like her. That fact alone will push you beyond your acceptable standards. And it should never come to that. A girl that is right for you will not push or even guide you past them. Such as, you shouldn't be paying her bills at all. That's her responsibility. If she doesn't something that makes you feel ****ty, you defend yourself either by correcting it or by separating yourself from her.

Ultimately only you can convince yourself, but listen to your logic side. Push past your emotions and fear of loss. Do this for yourself sanity and self respect.

 

[RedScorpion]

You are paying for sex...

The only concern she had when you lost your job is if you were going to still be able to pay for her car insurance.

Here is what I would do. Take her to a nice dinner, very elegant.. Tell her to dress nice. You dress very nice too. Pick her up after hours when it is "safe" and convenient for her. Order her and you the most expensive dish.

After you eat, hell order desert.. even order her and you a bottle of wine.. the $100 one. Then when you are finished, tell her you left your wallet in the car.. Get up and leave and drive home man and never look back.

Leave the bill for her, ignore all her calls, and move on with your life. Consider it your last supper

Haha I like this idea. Sweet justice.

 

[Renegade357]

Heh, you're supposed to ask them out if you like them not be their buddy. Take your shot early and get out quick if it fails.