"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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headgames gone too far

monster squad

Don Juan
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I don't even know where to begin.

This girl has done everything imaginable to me in the past. Somehow we always end up together again for a short bit, then I get the LJBF line. This last time I got it a few days after we had sex. "I want things to continue like they were before, and just stay friends.". I told her I wasn't interested in staying friends (because she sounded reluctant, otherwise I would have just hung up the phone), and it seemed almost like we were in a haggling match since then. Recently she's begun acting weird, and started hanging out with my friends. Exchanging numbers, talking to them on that gay myspace site (some of them are in her top 8, and I've been removed), going out to bars with them, ect. Recently it's become increasingly obvious that she's interested in one of my friends. It makes sense. She's shallow, and he's a petty drug peddler. Last night he called me, just to ask me if I had seen some comment he left on myspace, and to tell me that he wasn't going out. Strange thing is, he rarely calls me out of the blue, usually he just texts me, and I didn't inquire into his plans for the night. It's like he thinks I know something is up, and he's checking to see if I'm still cool with him. I look at it as an admission of a guilty conscience.

Oh, and she's still trying to lead me on as well.

I don't want to be around any of this.

I mean, I don't have a lot of friends. Not enough time, but I am fully willing to severe ties with these people (as they all seem to be in on it, like I've become a joke... or maybe I'm just paranoid). Does that make me an ***hole? I don't even know what's really going on here. It's liike she's put her spell on everyone, and that spell wore off on me. I want her out of my life, but the only way to really do that is to ditch the majority of my friends (my closest friends cannot stand her, and find her incredibly vapid), and to stop going out. Period.

What other option do I have?
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Phyzzle

Master Don Juan
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Breakup by association, heh. I don't think that's necessary. From what I saw from your last thread, you and your ex aren't caustic around eachother. You can keep buying drugs from this guy.
 

aix237

Senior Don Juan
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dude ive been in your situation almost exactly. im not going to get into details but heres what i did. we would sleep together fvck eat hang out etc. always we werent officially bf gf yet. she decided to act like or actually go after somoen else and still lead me on. we were to the point of people saying that we were gf bf. anyways she goes after this guy i knew. i didnt like it. she kept on saying we are just friends (me and her) to everyone but obviously we were more than that. i tried to get away from her atleast 2 to 3 times (cut off contact) but she would always call me. then one day she did something very retarted and I said you do what you want to do i cant tell you what to do but i cant promise you/im not going to stick around if you keep on doing so and so cause i dont like it. so you decide. dude if you want her just act selfish whatever is in your best interest. so she decided and we were a couple later on (big mistake). she did all that sh!t to make me jealous which worked. maybe shes doing the same for you i dont know but say that line i said it will work. i always say that sh!t to girls and it never fails. all this is helpful if you want this girl to yourself. shes trying to be a player probably has lse. but just tell her you aint going to stick around if she does whatever. let me know how things go
 

monster squad

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aix237:

What do you mean it was a "big mistake"? On your part, or hers? I don't think I really want this girl anymore. The payoff with her is never worth the investment. I might give it a try and see what happens, but I'm more focused on finding someone more down to earth.

Phyzzle:

Don't be so presumptuous. I don't do drugs, and I don't appreciate the implication.
 

Phyzzle

Master Don Juan
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Phyzzle:

Don't be so presumptuous. I don't do drugs, and I don't appreciate the implication.
Oh, no offense intended. I think you should start, actually. I've always been a fan of drugs.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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