CableLight
Master Don Juan
"I learned from a very young age that if I persued the things that truly excited me, that they would reward in more important ways, like happiness."
-Brandon Boyd
I've been pushing this "happiness" idea a lot lately, and I think it's time to really show everyone here why.
Many, if not nearly every person who has come to this site came looking for advice on women. I know I did, but I gained a lot more than just a better understanding of the social aspects of life. I learned to be who I really was, to stop lying to myself, and, in effect, have never been happier. The amazing part was because the "answer" I was looking for was right infront of me the whole time.
Over this past year, I just stopped everything. I stopped kidding myself, I stopped whining, stopped trying to be everyone's best friend, stopped thinking people "owed" me something, stopped trying to fit in, and stopped trying to do the cliche'd things I thought I should do to make myself what other people would like. I finally looked in the mirror and said "This needs to change." And change it did.
I did this because I wasn't happy. Sure, I could go out, put on a smile and have a decent time. When the night was over I would look back and see that I've been trying the exact same thing over and over again, and I still wasn't going anywhere. I was unfulfilled, and felt like I was always being let down. This is why I stopped and said "This isn't me."
It was a major wake-up call, and I was glad I didn't hit the snooze button again. I cut my hair, dressed like the mature and carefree individual I am, decided I needed to give up smoking (tobacco), cut way down on the pot, cut down on the alcohol, got a job, and finally started doing all the little things I knew I enjoyed doing but didn't in favor of doing what other people wanted to do. I didn't do all this because I thought it would bring me success, but because I honestly WANTED to. I became my own person again, much like I was when I was a little kid and wasn't easily bothered by small problems. I had fun again.
I was having fun because I was letting myself have fun. I let myself play and grow as a person, not letting other people decide for me what to do. I got more in shape (being more active), more versed in current events (I love to read), became a better musician (love guitar) and a lot more comfortable in my own skin because it felt like I actually KNEW myself again. As a purely unintentional side effect of doing all this, I gained a lot more friends and even renewed/repaired some of my old friendships. I can talk to anyone now - Older, younger, my age, it doesnt matter because when I learned to understand myself, I was able to understand other people and where they were coming from. I could see myself in thier shoes and offer them the company of person in the world who truly wants to be where they are, not just there because they felt they had to be.
This is the kicker - It was easy. It was easy because I did things I had interest in. It's hard to be motivated to do something you dont want to do, plain and simple, but it's easy to do something you care about. Doing all this didn't turn me into some cookie-cutout zombie, but rather someone who tries to have as much fun with whatever they're faced with, and does. Everything I want to do, I do.
Trust me - It works, too. It really, honestly, truly works. I'll give you a "Your Life Back" guarentee on this one.
-Brandon Boyd
I've been pushing this "happiness" idea a lot lately, and I think it's time to really show everyone here why.
Many, if not nearly every person who has come to this site came looking for advice on women. I know I did, but I gained a lot more than just a better understanding of the social aspects of life. I learned to be who I really was, to stop lying to myself, and, in effect, have never been happier. The amazing part was because the "answer" I was looking for was right infront of me the whole time.
Over this past year, I just stopped everything. I stopped kidding myself, I stopped whining, stopped trying to be everyone's best friend, stopped thinking people "owed" me something, stopped trying to fit in, and stopped trying to do the cliche'd things I thought I should do to make myself what other people would like. I finally looked in the mirror and said "This needs to change." And change it did.
I did this because I wasn't happy. Sure, I could go out, put on a smile and have a decent time. When the night was over I would look back and see that I've been trying the exact same thing over and over again, and I still wasn't going anywhere. I was unfulfilled, and felt like I was always being let down. This is why I stopped and said "This isn't me."
It was a major wake-up call, and I was glad I didn't hit the snooze button again. I cut my hair, dressed like the mature and carefree individual I am, decided I needed to give up smoking (tobacco), cut way down on the pot, cut down on the alcohol, got a job, and finally started doing all the little things I knew I enjoyed doing but didn't in favor of doing what other people wanted to do. I didn't do all this because I thought it would bring me success, but because I honestly WANTED to. I became my own person again, much like I was when I was a little kid and wasn't easily bothered by small problems. I had fun again.
I was having fun because I was letting myself have fun. I let myself play and grow as a person, not letting other people decide for me what to do. I got more in shape (being more active), more versed in current events (I love to read), became a better musician (love guitar) and a lot more comfortable in my own skin because it felt like I actually KNEW myself again. As a purely unintentional side effect of doing all this, I gained a lot more friends and even renewed/repaired some of my old friendships. I can talk to anyone now - Older, younger, my age, it doesnt matter because when I learned to understand myself, I was able to understand other people and where they were coming from. I could see myself in thier shoes and offer them the company of person in the world who truly wants to be where they are, not just there because they felt they had to be.
This is the kicker - It was easy. It was easy because I did things I had interest in. It's hard to be motivated to do something you dont want to do, plain and simple, but it's easy to do something you care about. Doing all this didn't turn me into some cookie-cutout zombie, but rather someone who tries to have as much fun with whatever they're faced with, and does. Everything I want to do, I do.
Trust me - It works, too. It really, honestly, truly works. I'll give you a "Your Life Back" guarentee on this one.
