he broke up with her!! (follow up)

[monobluecontrol]

ok so before you read this just go here, because this was my last thread, and there have been changes in the situation:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?threadid=73035&highlight=gangi+games

ok, so the other night, she got a call from her boyfriend and he broke up with her, and surprisingly, she didn't even care. I feel like I have to do something now, but i don't want to seem overeager, and also, she's been just fooling (but not seriously) around with this other guy, and i have to beat him to the proverbial punch.

I'm not sure what I should do, and before everyone goes and says to just try and kiss her, remember, she's my best friend, and i don't want to lose that. should i talk to her, or is that too wussy? I don't know what to do here, but it seems like this could be the right time to act. she's still pretty stressed out about sh!t, and she's actually fooling around with that guy (they've made out twice, and she tells only me, she says because she wants to make sure i don't care, or something) because she wants to enjoy her freedom while it lasts. she PROMISES she would never fukk this guy, and, i don't know, i guess i don't want to ruin everything we have as friends; however, i'm not completely against taking risks, otherwise i wouldn't be here. I appreciate ANY input...

 

[monobluecontrol]

yeah, no one's posting, doesn't anyone have any ideas on what i should do here? should I be honest with her and tell her how i feel while maintaining my integrity and tell her that I'm not going to be weird or creepy now that i've told her? or should i just go for a kiss? what should i do?

I only act as if this is so urgent because i don't know how long this window may last, and I'm worried that I'm gonna screw up the timing...please help...

 

[Dublinsfinest]

no ones posting because you are asking a pathetic question.

you are her "BEST FRIEND".

She's getting ****ed by someone else and YOU pick up the pieces. Typical AFC. I repeat, AFC.

You'll never fu*k her.

Forget about her and learn from this experience.

Fu*k her first, then be "best friends" later.

Otherwise you are in the friends zone, and you won['t be getting out.

 

[TheRelic]

Women can be fickle. I don't believe the friend zone is always the barrier people make it out to be.

 

[bp1974]

Get this book - your description of your behaviour towards this girl is pretty classic Nice Guy stuff. The forums have a lot of good advice and info too. Don''t be put off by the title - it's not about being a b'stard.

www.nomoremrniceguy.com

I winced when you said that your response to arguments is 'ok'.

Learn to express your point of view. Learn to argue and disagree. Learn to push back when someone pushes against you. Learn how to tell people what's going on for you and what you're thinking and feeling. Otherwise you'll be invisible, sexually and otherwise.

 

[monobluecontrol]

ok, while i can see where you're coming from Dublin, I think you have to realize that women are not all the same, and although it may seem like I'm permanently in the friends zone, it's rediculous to think that she could NEVER like me sexually. Maybe if i were unattractive, but i'm not. I'm not a stud, but I'm definitely not the stereotype that I'm sure arises when you read my posts. And she is FAR from a stereotypical girl. I know this probably sounds stupid, because there are probably a sh!tload of girls that are a lot like her, but she doesn't fit the stereotypical Don Juan targetable "prey."

Relic, I think you may have something, but I want to know what you think I should do? elaborate, if you can.

I spoke with a friend of mine that knows of my situation, and knows the girl, and he's finding it very difficult to give me advise, even though he usually can spit it out easily. At first, knowing my position, he thought I should just wait till she was at a "high" with me, and just talk to her about being in love with her in a normal voice and in a normal way, as if it didn't matter, as if I were just discussing the weather, and tell her that if she couldn't love me, that it was ok, because I wasn't going to change, and nothing was going to get creepy or weird, and I had to tell her because I needed to be honest with her in order to advance our relationship at all. after all, without communication, our friendship would fizzle. Then my friend became apprehensive, because he thinks she might not respond to that positively, and he doesn't want me to get hurt.

of course i feel hurt every day, so I just want some feedback that is applicable. remember Dublin, I'm moving in with her, I can't just forget about her and drop her. I appreciate feedback...