You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Ice cold is lying to you PRL - he lives in Toronto and last I looked out the weather was a complete nightmare.
After reading this post I can only say that I am guilty of misjudgement about you because that's some pretty astute sh*t, I think you are on to something.
Well...you aren't alone. Many here misjudge me. Unfortunately, more often than not I end up spending my time here defending myself rather than making posts like the ones I made in this thread. It's really too bad because I have quite a bit of wisdom regarding human behavior and how people relate to one another. It would be much easier for me to be an asset to this site if everyone would just forget that I'm a woman.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
I don't claim to know if the girl you're speaking of was hit by that guy or not...but I will tell you this:
hahaha....not that many dude. Two that I know of. Also, I know a few chicks as friends that have been "sexually abused" as children. Not sure if that includes rape or not, and I didn't ask. The point is that some of these chicks were "f*cked up" and others were not. And certainly, the messed up ones were no more messed up than some regular (non raped) women. My point is that using that as a judgement to dump is girl is pathetic. I'm not suggesting ignoring it and blindly marrying her. I'm suggesting evaluating her as a person, not by what she has confided in you.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.