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Hb9 Gf Why Does She Stay With Me??

choychoy12

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Hey guys,
If you've read my earlier posts, they were all about how i was having problems with my gf, and how i was going to stay with her etc. etc.

Now my GF is a definete HB9 , everyone is always complimenting her on how hot she is, and beautiful etc. etc.

What i dont get is???? I"M DOING ALL THE WRONG THINGS. haha

Why does she still stay with me?? I dont get it honestly...

This site, talks about being a man, etc etc..

So I've been with my GF for about 9months now.

I do alot of thigns wrong.

I tell her i'm a wussy all the time, and that why does she still want to stay with such a wussy and weak bf..

See the problem is she's a high paid corporate assistant. With her life together, she's 100% confident, she could have any guy she wants.

I'm just a guy who's still in school, struggling to keep up with the work. Who's insecure.

Whenever she spends more time with her work collegues than me, i winge tell her i dont like it, and i dont feel loved. Whenever she's too tired to see me, i tell her that she doesn't make an effort and its just me.

According to all the experts?? I should have been dumped along time ago right??

I dont get it. I think it've tried to dump her like 6 times now. and tried to go on a break alot of times before that.

But in the end, she's always like. No i love you, there's no other guy out there like you etc. etc.??

I always tell her wussy stuff like. I'm a really sensitive guy. who's really emotional. I get upset at the smallest things. ANd she's like yes i know. But she still stays with me??

I always tell her, that she'll be happy without me, she's got a great job and that she'll meet a guy that will sweep her off her feet who isn't insecure etc etc..

What she says is, that yes! Any other guy out there could. But she loves me, because i make her feel all the emotions. like make her happy, sad, make her cry suprise her etc. She says the only reason she's happy during her days is because she knows at work she's got a loving caring bf.

SO i dont get it. The last time i dumped her, becasue of this whole work thing. I told her not to call me anymore or msg me, coz i wuond't reply. I live in the country btw, she lives in the city.

To make the dumping official! She was like, no were not breaking up! And i said! Dont you get it! I dont love you anymore. It's over! Were over!

SHe started crying and she was just like.. can you please come over so we can talk this. I was like NO! SHe' slike if you dont i will..

I said dont, i wont be home, she said if your not home, i'll wait for you.. So anyway. She caught a taxi down....

She ended up saying we always have these arguments but we always end up together.. She said that she loves me again.. ANd that she'll do everything she can to make things better... and that we'll understand each other more and more..

But the things is i get the same speach all the time.... that she'll love and care for me. But the same **** happens again and again. I definetly feel like i put more into the relatinoship then she does. e.g. suprise her, travel to see her. take my free time for her.. you know all the wussy stuff.. pay for all the dinner bills.. buy her gifts regurlarly. Give in to what she wants...

Right now its really up to the point where i feel like losing her will be better for my self esteem anyway.!
I mean she's so hot! Like the sex is awesome! And it happens everytime i see her! But becasue of her whole work thing. It feels like i'm just the time slot bf. Like whever she's free then i can come see her! It also feels like she's way more happier with her friends at work then she is with me. Like if she had a choice with me or her friends at work, she'll bel ike.. Hey cant see you tonight.. going out wiht friends at work!!! WHich is ****!!!!!!!

That feeling sucks. That's why i always want out! I always tell her! Why cant you just let me go! I'll be happier.. but she just keeps hodling on???
I tell her she'll be more happier with a confident guy! And i always tell her.. Please just give me a break for a week.. to work on myself even.. so i'm not such a wussy.. and she wont even let us go on a break...

She said even if i cheated on her! She'd still give me another chance.. stay with me! I Dont get it???

Maybe becasue its 9months now?? But i remmeber that it was shocking when we first started going out.. She called all the shots.. she'd want to break up with me.. I dunno what happened, but somehow, i kept holding on, and suprising her and making up for the stupid things i did.. She didn't have many feelings for me back then.. .But all the sudden everythings changed...

One time I just didn't pick up her calls or msg's for a few days.. and she just kept msg'ng and calling, saying i love you.. bal bal bal... I dunno! She's definetly not an insecure girl!!!!! She's is totally secure, and not sensitive or emotional! Basically the opposite of me!!!!!!!!!

I dont get this guys?? I"M Being a full on wussy! AFC!!!???? But she still wants me!??? WHAT THE???
 

Wyldfire

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Either she really does genuinely love you or she just doesn't want to be dumped and you getting insecure and breaking up with her only makes her more determined to keep you. If the second is the case then she's likely to dump you once you finally get over this urge to break up with her and start to feel safe.

I can't help but wonder why you get so worked up over her working and having friends, though. You've got to get a grip on that problem because you're going to run into the same thing with every woman you get involved with. You can't keep a person in a cage for you and you alone. You'll suffocate and smother them, drive both of you crazy and ultimately destroy the relationship. You need to get some hobbies and friends of you own and learn to be able to enjoy your own company and keep yourself occupied.
 

choychoy12

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Haha! Right like that explains ****???? Still dont get why she's sticking with me! Okay! honest to ****.. I'm not always afc! I guess the times when i try and dump her ass. I'm prob a real bastard and real insensitive and real indifferent.

But no **** the rest of the time.. I'm always like.. I want to see you everyday! And it hurts when your at work! I love you too much.. bla bla bla..

But then when i've got to the point, where i'm like okay! This afc ness is rediculous.. I turn it around.. and be come a real hard ass.. Like just hard shell extrerior! She's always like woah! Your different... then goes into all the i love you stuff...

Please leave your comments.. Dont need anymore smart arse stuff.. If you think you know why?? Then please voice your opinion..
 

frivolousz21

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you control her


then you probably turn on her and say mean things and are an *******...in which ur not telling us.

you have a mental hold on her.
 

Pimp-sicle

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First of all your not as much of a wussy as you think you are. Yes, you definitely seem like you say emotional stuff and get a little sappy with your girl, but guess what? Every guy does when they're in a serious LTR. Plus, I assure you that you weren't like this with her in the courting phase and when you first started dating.

Secondly, you have shown her on numerous occassions that your not afraid to leave her (shows confidence to a girl) because your needs are not being met. She shows a confident outside, to the world, but deep inside her glaring insecurity always shows when you try to leave her. Your giving your gf too much credit on being perfect, when she's not.

However she is amazing, because it seems like she has a busy life outside of you and you have NOTHING!! Make time for your buddies, go hang out with them as much as you can, it makes relationships more exciting, it makes you miss your gf, it makes the relationship LAST!!!

The only other thought that entered my mind is that she could be fuvkin' someone else on the side but has deep issues about being alone. So even though she's fuvkin' another dood, she wants you as her security blanket. Kinda like the "have your cake and eat it too" analogy. I'm not saying this is true at all, in fact I highly doubt it, BUT its a possibility.

Tell us more about your gf's traits. What's her relationship like with her family? Does she have a lot of girl friends? Is she moody? Dramatic or attention w-horish???



PIMP
 

HalfAddict

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Im just saying if she's so great why dump her?


If you really wanna get to her just blow her off like she never existed and any memories she thinks you share are just fantasy.
 

choychoy12

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Ah! Yes i know wyldfire..
I'm working on it. That's why i always suggest breaks with her. Beacuse i know when i work on my own stuff.. I dont feel the urge to always see her etc. But when i finish school n stuff.. I always want to see her, because my schools close to her place.. in the city.. and if i leave to go home there's no point in coming all the way out to see her. Suffocating her.. definetly not.. I tell her to go clubb'n wiht her friends all the time... I tell her to go out with her friends all the time..

It's only when we've arranged something.. Like she'll say I really want to see you tomrorow.. I miss you so much...

I'll be like ' Yer okay"..

Then the next day she'll be like! Sorry.. work thing came out.. friends wanna go out for a drink!??

I'm like bull ****! Dont give me that.. and that's when i get reall cut and insecure.. becasue it ****s me..

She just been in the company of all her friends all day. That's why she feels comfortable with them.. adn when there like hey lets go for drinks she's like yer okay! Without thinking about out plans..

You know how it is, when you get carried away with so much fun! That's why i call her on her bs.. like whatever go have fun!
 

SSben

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man if ur haveing sex with her, your not that bad of an afc
 

choychoy12

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"The only other thought that entered my mind is that she could be fuvkin' someone else on the side but has deep issues about being alone. So even though she's fuvkin' another dood, she wants you as her security blanket. Kinda like the "have your cake and eat it too" analogy. I'm not saying this is true at all, in fact I highly doubt it, BUT its a possibility.

> SHe's definetly not ****in other dude! i've made sure of it.. I've think i've snapped it at her! Heaps of times about other dudes.. and last time her **** of an ex.. tried something.. I told him to **** off and her to **** off if she wanted to be with him.. but she stuck with me... =D

> but your right i cant be 100% about ****ing another dude! But all i can tell you is.. she's real picky about her guys and ****.. and she;s always telling me i'm one of the hottest cutest guys.. and to tell you truth all the guys that try and pick her up.. mostly are ugly mofo's.. =D That seem way too eager! And cant get a hint..

Tell us more about your gf's traits. What's her relationship like with her family? Does she have a lot of girl friends? Is she moody? Dramatic or attention w-horish??? "

> Okay! So with her family she's been a spoilt brat since she was young! A real spoilt brad got everything she wanted! I always tell her, she cant have everything she wants.. just she got it when she was a kid... then i spank her because i'm like i'll treat you like a kid then..

She's got a good circle of partyin gloving girlfriends... to tell you the truth are quite skanky.. but she has good quality ones. .But she says i changed her life.. Like settled her down, ever since we started going out, she says she's changed..
She used to be really moody! But i whenever she gets really moody! I just walk out on her.. or just leave her house, or just suggest a break or breakup. Attention *****.. definetly not! SHe gets way to omuch attention from other people..

SHe' just one of those no shame typ eof peopel! Like she can talk to anyone, she gets rejected heaps in her line of work, but she still ends up getting the job done and happy. She's very confident and secure.. which is one thing i love about her.. But yes deinfetly she has much more guys friends then she does girl friends.. and yes all her guy friends tell her to hang out with them all the time.. but its cool, coz she always tells me she'd rather hang out wiht me..
 

Lost In Translation

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a very interesting case

as i was reading a few things stuck out

choychoy12
She said even if i cheated on her! She'd still give me another chance.. stay with me! I Dont get it???

this is not love !

love is YOU CHEAT I KILL

love is YOU CHEAT I LEAVE NO MATTER WHAT

you don't get it ? because this does not add up ! this is not normal behaviour from a woman !

normally it means the b*tch is cheating but i am not going to call it until i get some more info on this situation

WAS SHE A VIRGIN ? DID YOU TAKE HER VIRGINITY ?

no ? then her behaviour leads towards a guilty heart

yes ? then maybe she is just obsessed with you

choychoy12
Heaps of times about other dudes.. and last time her **** of an ex.. tried something.. I told him to **** off and her to **** off if she wanted to be with him.. but she stuck with me...

this is interesting

how many other dudes ? what she up to ?

her ex is my main point. what happened that her ex was able to place himself in the middle of your relationship and you had to lay the smack down on her to keep her on track ?

some wisdom for you but you seem to be keeping it on lockdown

Quote: Player_Supreme
“ Your woman in my opinion shouldn't be talking to an ex. It's ok to have men friends but friends whom she used to suck their dycks is not in my picture. “


i got no real opinion as to what she has been up to until you answer my questions

what are you doing right now that she is clingy ?

TREAT THEM MEAN KEEP THEM KEEN

you said she changed. she used to be the boss. now you the boss.

all the best and keep on truckin' :woo:


Lost In Translation :D

**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**
 

choychoy12

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Yer well she always used to say... If you ever cheat on me! I'll drop you like its hot!

Tables have turned now!

I have no problem with the ex! haha, he is a clingy! Loserish.. more afc then I mother****er! He's ****ed so many ugly *****es since losing my hb9 gf..

Since then wanted her back. I told him to **** off! and she agrees that he's f'd in the head..

THat's true, i love her, that's why i tell her.. If u cheat on me. I will dump your ass.. even though i loved her and enjoyed the sex. I'd still dump her ass.. just gotta be done.

And yes I did take her virginity! well so she says.. although she wasn't bleeding when i peirced it! Apparntly.. it can be broken numerous of ways..

The most any other of her ex's done to her before was finger her, which is what she said.. *shrugs* she coudl be lying.. but it hasn't bothered me.. and i wont let it now..
.
anyway.. i always tell her, not to keep me as a security glass.. i tel lher, if she ever finds a guy she's even remotely interested in.. before she even contemplates cheating she better tell me.. and i will dump her ass... or she can dump my ass..

She's not clingy though.. THrough out the weekdays she all cool.. Never clingy.. Its only when i realyl suggest breakup, or spend a few days away from her, doing my own thing, where she starts bringing in all the clingy stuff...
 

StringShredder

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Saying that you're a wussy, sensitive and all that isn't the same as actually being those things.

Guys who really are week and ovely sensitive don't talk about it. Rather, they behave in repulsive ways. :)

It's no different from bolstering yourself by bragging.

The chick will subconsciously assume that the way you talk about yourself has to do with some self-image that you know you don't actually live up to.

It may actually be a good strategy to talk about how sensitive you are and that you feel self-conscious about being emotionally vulnerable and weak, etc. It has to come off just phony enough that she will believe the opposite. :)
 

choychoy12

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Oh nar! It cant be phony.. coz i am sensitive as hell.. I've cried more times than she has.. ever time i dump her ass, i cry.. and let her know that its the best thing for both of us..

But yes, true, when i've had enough.. I tend to not care.. and she knows i'm really sensitive and stuff. .But she just says i still love you... but i am really sensitive.. I think i interpret her actions more negatively then positive.. she's always saying you never think about the good things i do.. always the bad...
 

choychoy12

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But what i dont get is! I honestly think she can have any guy she wants.. she can have this armani model if she wants she's that hot!

Sometimes when i look at her, i'm still in dis belieft that she's my gf.. and it hurts alot... but i think i have enough respect for myself to know what's healthy mentally..

That's why i want out, coz i think i suffer too much in this relatinoshipo.. Like I love her too much, or whatever..

I always tell her to find another guy?? I mean, were completely opposite.. woulnd't she rather a guy? Who's really confident and challenging.. and plays the whole dj game???

And is persistent, and doesnt' give up so easily.. i alwyas give up.. i'm just like okay! another fight.. its over..

but she's the one always holding on... ??? dont get it..
 

What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you.

You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects her to treat him very well, she'll have no problem at all dropping you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

zerocelcius

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Originally posted by choychoy12
See the problem is she's a high paid corporate assistant. With her life together, she's 100% confident, she could have any guy she wants.
Exactly!!!

She is 100% confident and she does have the guy she wants.

The one that wont challenge her, the one that is there no matter what.

She dosn't have time to go find a good guy, she dosn't want challeges she wins challenges. You are safe and fit the busy schedule.

She is hot and successful....what don't you get.

It dosn't matter what you do. You meet her needs and that is all that matterd. She is in total control and you will never leave.

Even if you did I don't think it would be anything more than a nusanse to this girl cause than she would have to schedule in some time to find another AFC.

If you really want this girl to leave which you don't (you just posted this to tell everyone that they are wrong and you landed a hottie being an AFC, but don't grow balls with us when you can't even stop being an AFC with your woman master).
Than all you have to do is start standing up to her. Don't meet her schedule. When she has time don't have time. When she offers things don't take them.

You fit in the shcedule pretty much end of story.
 

choychoy12

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(you just posted this to tell everyone that they are wrong and you landed a hottie being an AFC, but don't grow balls with us when you can't even stop being an AFC with your woman master).


Zerocelcius????


Dont assume things yer??? Why the hell would i post this to tell everyone that there wrong and i'm right..
I've always been trying this whole DJ ****.. Just figured.. hey, might as well, just stop reading the **** and actually going out there and experiencing it.. and think for myself for a change or two..

I'm not expecting anyone, to follow what i do. Hell i dont even want to follow what i do!

Sometimes, i tell myself, okay.. today i'm going to be all good.. no more whinging no mroe whining no more bull****..

But then when the **** hits the fan! Again.. My mind goes crazy.. and i get pissed off! Just cant help it?????

I dont like supressing my feelings.. I'm not one of those guys.. who can just fake that everything's all good... I'm not! Honestly I'd rather tell her, that its all ****ed up. and that its hard for me to handle a chick like her.. then to cover it all up.. be a hard ass don juan and tell her, that no problem dear...

Because I do want to see her.. And i do want more love and attention from her.! And i do think she treats me like a time slot sometimes.. I dont like being treated like that.. that's why i break up with her..

Please dont assume, this is a negative thing.. I'm just curious! And i'm the type of guy who's always out there to better his life?? Whatever that may be... Its just hard to keep balance.. with such an awesome gf...
 

choychoy12

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Than all you have to do is start standing up to her. Don't meet her schedule. When she has time don't have time. When she offers things don't take them.

You fit in the shcedule pretty much end of story.

Yer, that's a good idea.. I do agree with that... I gues i didnt' tell you guys this first part of the story.. about 3 months ago.. She didn't have a job.. me and her spent nearly everyday together! we were tight real tight.. even when i dumped her back then?? WHen she had no job

.. she still wanted me back...

It affects me, becasue that's such a huge swing.. from seeing each other everyday, to seeing each other maybe once or twice a week, for only a couple of hours..

Its like seeing her when she's at her best.. to seeing her when she's tired from a days work..
that's why i feel ****ty...

We fell in love long time before she got the job... but then again.. you say, meeting her needs??? Isn't that what loves about.. meeting the other person needs, and placing her before yours???

I dont want to control her! I want to relate to her, becasue that's the point of a relatinoshiop... how we going to have this connection if we dont relate on all these different levels?? If i really want to DJ the **** out of her, i could...

But then what?? I'd just be controlling her, and i could bang her whenever i want.. ?? and get her to be like my puppy.. and mess up her mental life...

but however good that sounds.. i dont want that...
 

Javelin44

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look, are you going to marry her? if you are, ask her. if you're not, get it over with and start learning how to become less insecure
 

MacDiddy

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Choy:
This is a rather alien phenomenum. The more AFC you get the more she likes you. How about I do you a favour by reinforcing her love for such a geek by acting all charming and ALpha to her.. Maybe run my PU routine on her.

So firstly... where does she live and what is her phone no???... Hell I doing you an incredible favour here!!!
 

What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you.

You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects her to treat him very well, she'll have no problem at all dropping you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

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