HB8 with low selfsteem, mixed signals

[pyros]

Hi.

Met this wannabe HB7.9, 30 years old, in my salsa academy. Talked to her three times for around 5 mins each. Added her on FB. Asked for her number when talking on FB chat, she ignored it. Some days later I made a joke about it and she gave me her number. Some days later we texted back and forth for a bit and I asked her out for a drink. She said that she was busy but that next week she was free at around 8pm.
Next week came and I texted her to ask her out, she made a little joke but ignored my request.
This girl was taking lessons from a different teacher than me in the same academy, but I told her that my taught better, and then she quit her group and joined mine.

This girl is pretty weird because she has around 1.500 pictures uploaded on FB, in which 85% of them it is her posing with sexy clothes, or partying with her female friends. Almost every picture of these has comments of guys saying how sexy, cute, gorgeous, etc, she looks.

Some days ago we were talking before our salsa lesson and she suggested that I should go to X club where she's going on Saturday because she knows the manager there so I could go there with my friends for free. I said that I would think about it. After some minutes she asked me if I had seen her las book of photographs she uploaded on FB to which I replied that I had not (it was true, she uploads so many pictures every week that I hid her profile from my last news on FB, its annoying).
Then she got her mobile phone to show me her pictures to which I just said: 'yeah.. yeah...great...' withouth paying much attention really.

Saturday came and I texted her to say that I decided to go to that club with my buddies. At 22:00h I said if she wanted to bring her female friends to have a drink with us before going in the club to which she did not reply. Then at 01:00 am we could not find the club so I texted her to give me the address, and she did straight away and told me it was crowded etc.
When we got to the club I texted her to say that we were at the entrance, no reply. After one hour or so, I saw her and she waved hello. I said hello, we talked for some minutes and she introduced me to her two female friends which where not warm to me at all. They looked like *****es, specially her best friend who's a 38 years old single mother. (this girl is present in almost 80% of all her FB pictures, its like if they were glued together) I introduced her to my buddies as well.
She looked waisted. We talked for 10 minutes and then her female friends said that they wanted to go outside to smoke so they all left and this girl grabbed my head with both hands to give me two kisses on the cheeks and said bye.

After an hour or so, I noticed that they had returned. I had liked to make out with this girl but since I did not really like her behaviour: not replying twice to my texts, we barely talked for 10 mins, and after they had a smoke she did not return to talk to me, I did nothing.


How do you think I could get to bang this chick?
Do I ask her out again?


thanks. :cheer:

 

[iamnobody]

No, you don't.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

How do you think I could get to bang this chick?

Def a low self esteem chick. What I mean by that is, regarding FB, without fail in all of my experiences; chicks that have a zillion pics of them in different outfits, bathroom shots, AW pics etc ALWAYS have extremely low self esteem.

These girls respond best to you flipping the script on them.

Don't chase girls like this!

Make your interactions fun, light and make sure to tease her at the salsa lessons.

Then don't hit her up when you see her on Facebook, don't text her etc.

If she is attracted to you on some level, this will peak her curiosity after a bit because she's use to guys doing EXACTLY what you did; chase, chase and chase some more.

You chased her too hard and she has very little interest in you. You def shouldn't have gone to the club that night. She keeps blowing you off and then you jump at the first opportunity to play on her terms?? That's not DJ, strong male behavior.

Secondly, don't read too much into her friends being bit-hitchy towards you. Many girls are defensive and somewhat standoff-ish when they meet a guy esp in a club, even if they have common friends.

Do I ask her out again?

It doesn't look good right now, in fact I'd say if you keep chasing she will FZ you hard if she hasn't already mentally.

Here's what you do:

Act like nothing phased you about her behavior so far when you see her at the salsa lessons. Flirt with other girls at the lessons too from time to time.
Make sure to flirt with her too, but just for a bit and other times completely ignore her.

If you do this correctly, it will bother her because her ego needs to always be stroked.

The reason so many guys fail with AW's is they chase too hard. But these girls are some of the easiest girls to bang if you play their game on them. Attention is their life supply, so even if she has tons of orbiters fawning after her, she only cares about the one guy who's ignoring her.

I'd suggest doing this for a solid month, if her behavior changes noticeably, try and get her to go out for a drink straight after your salsa class; more impromptu, rather than so planned.

Think of this as a project on how you should've acted with her from the start. It might be too late, but you never know.







PIMP

 

[nismo-4]

Mixed signals meand little to no interest. You're cruising for the friendzone.

Spinning more plates and going ghost on this attention wh0re is the best thing that is for you.

Case closed.

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

She has no interest in you. I would have nexted her when she hesitated to give the number after messaging her on FB. You then guilt tripped her into giving up her number and now you're headed for the friends zone.

 

[pyros]

Hi.

Thanks all for the advice. PIMP, I really liked your comments as always.
But why do you say I chased her too much? I asked for the number, she ignored it, after some days I did a joke about it and she gave it to me saying she forgot, whatever.
Then I asked her out ONCE, she did not reply, so I did not comment on it, neither I asked her out again or anything. (just trying to do confident persistence, you know?)
I did not text her or chat with her, I just talked for a bit during our salsa lessons. She then invited me to go to this club (I took this a a sign of interest) and she put us on the list, so we did not have to pay to get in; it was a new club in town so my buddies and me thought it was a good plan.
Once in the club, I did not search for her because she ignored my last text saying we were at the entrance, I just bumped into her after an hour or so. Then when she and her friends left to have a smoke and returned after a while, I did not go to talk to her or anything.

Today we met at salsa lesson again. I arrived, said hello to everyone (two cute girls included) and I ignored her and started to talk to our teacher, so after a bit she came to me to say hello and to asked me if I liked the club etc.
When we finished she said she was going outside to smoke, kind of suggesting that I should go with her, but I did not.
After some minutes I left the place and she was outside smoking and talking on her cellphone so I just winked and said bye.

I do think she feels some attraction so Im gonna do as PIMP suggested.

 

[pyros]

By the way, what was I suposed to do instead of what I did?
I mean, when I met her the first time...then I added her on FB...
and how should I have followed in order to get to bang her?

Thanks.

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

By the way, what was I suposed to do instead of what I did?


Thanks.

When she didn't give up her number the first time you asked you should have left it at that and moved on. No point in persisting with someone who has no interest in you. You then took it one step further and asked her out and she ignored your date request. Playing easy to get sure isn't helping your cause.

I can tell your ego is heavily invested in this chick and you're not gonna listen to anyone in this thread so go do as you please. Just remember, you were warned. Her inviting you to the club means nothing. I would have flaked on her.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Responding to your invite to go out while completely ignoring your invite is a classic and annoying AW move.

From experience, girls that do so are a total waste of time. NC & move on. If she does approach you at class, just act aloof and keep all answers and comments brief.

 

[pyros]

Dust2Dust, have you read about 'confident persistence'?

She may not be very interested now but, in my little experience I've had one girl that I asked her out once and she declined, but one year later I ended up banging her.
Another girl I went on a date with, I tried to kiss her the first time and she turned her cheeck, I was annoyed, but second time we met I did kiss her, we made out, and we had some sex some dates later.

As Rollo Tomasi says, many guys NEXT girls too soon. I do not know if I'll get anything from this girl but I think I have to try at least the second strikes rule: I asked for her number, she ignored it. (strike one). I asked again some days later and she gave it to me. I asked her out and she ignored it (strike two), so Im not doing anything else with this chick besides being friendly and teasting her, and we'll see if she comes around as PIMP said.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

But why do you say I chased her too much?

What up dude.

I said you chased her too much because you did! haha

What I mean by that is you showed too much interest too soon.

Remember girls are like old school cars, they need to be started (initial interest) and then warmed up (anticipation) before you press the pedal and go (bang them).

You were a little too eager. Adding her on Facebook is a female move.

Also if you look at it, all the initiation was done by you. You added her, you hit her up on chat, you asked for her #, you then made a joke about it and asked again. You initiated the text with her.

You asked her out twice, the first time she said she was busy, but counter offered by saying she was free next week at 8pm. Notice how she didn't give you a specific day? She was brushing you off.

Then her true colors show when you asked her out the following week and she ignored your question..... low interest.

Then you jumped thru HER HOOPS by going to the club she said she was going to be at.

Don't play on the opponent's home turf the first time you go out, always LEAD as the man, once you have her interest then you can win on any field.

By this point its overtly obvious that you have super high interest in her and you can't tell if she's interested in you or not.

You need to flip the script and have the girl being the one to wonder if your into her or not. Girls love a guy who's a challenge.

Then I asked her out ONCE, she did not reply, so I did not comment on it, neither I asked her out again or anything. (just trying to do confident persistence, you know?)

You asked her out twice. First time she brushed you off saying next week and then she flat out ignored your request when you asked the following week.

She then invited me to go to this club (I took this a a sign of interest) and she put us on the list, so we did not have to pay to get in; it was a new club in town so my buddies and me thought it was a good plan.

I can see why you would think this was a sign of interest and I would agree if she hadn't brushed you off a couple times already and been showing signs of low interest.

Combine that with her AW status on FB and it should be obvious that the way to get this girl is to not give her the attention she craves.

Once in the club, I did not search for her because she ignored my last text saying we were at the entrance

A girl with interest doesn't invite a guy to a club, then ignore his text. I could understand if she didn't text you back right away, but she didn't text you back at all and then you ran into her.

When we finished she said she was going outside to smoke, kind of suggesting that I should go with her, but I did not.

Your over-analyzing; if she wanted you to come outside with her she would've told you to come.

I do think she feels some attraction so Im gonna do as PIMP suggested.

Yeah your only chance is if you flip the script. If she already thinks your a chump though it might be too late.

However I will say AW chicks like this one, live for attention in general, so if you flip the cards right, she will be all over you.

The KEY is to make her work for it this time around.

Don't just go jumping at asking her out as soon as she starts showing you a little bit more attention.

Really make her think you are a busy guy with tons of things on your plate, including other women.








PIMP

 

[lamobatsman]

What up dude.

I said you chased her too much because you did! haha

What I mean by that is you showed too much interest too soon.

Remember girls are like old school cars, they need to be started (initial interest) and then warmed up (anticipation) before you press the pedal and go (bang them).

You were a little too eager. Adding her on Facebook is a female move.

Also if you look at it, all the initiation was done by you. You added her, you hit her up on chat, you asked for her #, you then made a joke about it and asked again. You initiated the text with her.

You asked her out twice, the first time she said she was busy, but counter offered by saying she was free next week at 8pm. Notice how she didn't give you a specific day? She was brushing you off.

Then her true colors show when you asked her out the following week and she ignored your question..... low interest.

Then you jumped thru HER HOOPS by going to the club she said she was going to be at.

Don't play on the opponent's home turf the first time you go out, always LEAD as the man, once you have her interest then you can win on any field.

By this point its overtly obvious that you have super high interest in her and you can't tell if she's interested in you or not.

You need to flip the script and have the girl being the one to wonder if your into her or not. Girls love a guy who's a challenge.



You asked her out twice. First time she brushed you off saying next week and then she flat out ignored your request when you asked the following week.



I can see why you would think this was a sign of interest and I would agree if she hadn't brushed you off a couple times already and been showing signs of low interest.

Combine that with her AW status on FB and it should be obvious that the way to get this girl is to not give her the attention she craves.



A girl with interest doesn't invite a guy to a club, then ignore his text. I could understand if she didn't text you back right away, but she didn't text you back at all and then you ran into her.



Your over-analyzing; if she wanted you to come outside with her she would've told you to come.




Yeah your only chance is if you flip the script. If she already thinks your a chump though it might be too late.

However I will say AW chicks like this one, live for attention in general, so if you flip the cards right, she will be all over you.

The KEY is to make her work for it this time around.

Don't just go jumping at asking her out as soon as she starts showing you a little bit more attention.

Really make her think you are a busy guy with tons of things on your plate, including other women.








PIMP

but if she was interested in him and he still did all these things then you wouldnt be saying hes showed too much interest or his moves were beta

 

[Kbomb]

Should have been gaming other chicks at the club, its what clubs are for.

 

[pyros]

What up dude.

I said you chased her too much because you did! haha

What I mean by that is you showed too much interest too soon.

Remember girls are like old school cars, they need to be started (initial interest) and then warmed up (anticipation) before you press the pedal and go (bang them).

You were a little too eager. Adding her on Facebook is a female move.

Also if you look at it, all the initiation was done by you. You added her, you hit her up on chat, you asked for her #, you then made a joke about it and asked again. You initiated the text with her.

You asked her out twice, the first time she said she was busy, but counter offered by saying she was free next week at 8pm. Notice how she didn't give you a specific day? She was brushing you off.

Then her true colors show when you asked her out the following week and she ignored your question..... low interest.

Then you jumped thru HER HOOPS by going to the club she said she was going to be at.

Don't play on the opponent's home turf the first time you go out, always LEAD as the man, once you have her interest then you can win on any field.

By this point its overtly obvious that you have super high interest in her and you can't tell if she's interested in you or not.

You need to flip the script and have the girl being the one to wonder if your into her or not. Girls love a guy who's a challenge.



You asked her out twice. First time she brushed you off saying next week and then she flat out ignored your request when you asked the following week.



I can see why you would think this was a sign of interest and I would agree if she hadn't brushed you off a couple times already and been showing signs of low interest.

Combine that with her AW status on FB and it should be obvious that the way to get this girl is to not give her the attention she craves.



A girl with interest doesn't invite a guy to a club, then ignore his text. I could understand if she didn't text you back right away, but she didn't text you back at all and then you ran into her.



Your over-analyzing; if she wanted you to come outside with her she would've told you to come.




Yeah your only chance is if you flip the script. If she already thinks your a chump though it might be too late.

However I will say AW chicks like this one, live for attention in general, so if you flip the cards right, she will be all over you.

The KEY is to make her work for it this time around.

Don't just go jumping at asking her out as soon as she starts showing you a little bit more attention.

Really make her think you are a busy guy with tons of things on your plate, including other women.








PIMP

Hi.
But now my question is: what do I do then when I meet some girl I like in my salsa class?
In this case, I talked to her three times for 5 mins each. Some days later I added her on facebook. Some days later I asked for her number, and a couple of days after this I asked her out. It was around 10 days from the first time I talked to her until I asked her out.
You say I pushed to much, ok, but what do I do instead?

I guess it all comes down to the fact that this chick had low interest, because in other situations Ive met a chick one day and got her number, and some days later I've asked her out and she's agreed. Nothing complicated, pretty simple and direct. Well, in this situations it was a girl I was not gonna ever see again unless we decided to meet.
However if I meet a girl I like in my salsa lessons, Im gonna probably see her everyweek for some weeks or months for sure, so how do I do in this cases?
I guess Im gonna try to build rapport, talke to the choosen girl several times, and if everything flows nice, Ill ask her out?

Thanks.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

but if she was interested in him and he still did all these things then you wouldnt be saying hes showed too much interest or his moves were beta

Uhhh yes I would.

When a girl is interested initially it creates a buffer where the guy can do almost nothing wrong.

Every corny joke is a knee slapper to her, the way he dresses is sexy and fitting etc etc.

This initial facade won't last long once the girl sees' thru the veil and realizes she's dealing with a chump.

There's a big difference between showing interest and chasing.... he's been chasing and combined with her low interest its not getting him anywhere.







PIMP

 

[Pimp-sicle]

But now my question is: what do I do then when I meet some girl I like in my salsa class?

Its always best to show your interest in person thru your actions. So if you meet a cute girl in your salsa class have fun with her, dance with her, flirt with her and then let her attraction develop and grow by doing nothing outside of class.

When you see a girl on a regular basis, patience its a virtue.

In this case, I talked to her three times for 5 mins each. Some days later I added her on facebook. Some days later I asked for her number, and a couple of days after this I asked her out. It was around 10 days from the first time I talked to her until I asked her out.

You seem to think that because you waited a few days between your interactions that it shows that you weren't desperate or in beta mode.

That's not true.

You were putting in all the effort and she was doing just enough (by inviting you to the club) to keep the carrot dangling.

When a girl has interest in a guy she makes it easy to get together and she sure as hell doesn't invite you to a club, she is excited to go out with you 1 on 1.

You say I pushed to much, ok, but what do I do instead?

One you have to realize that no matter how tight your game is, how good you look etc that some girls aren't going to be interested in you for whatever reason. It might be at that time, then they come around months later, it might be that your not her type, or something completely different... it happens, nobody hits 100%.

What you do when you see girls on a regular basis is show them attention here and there, then take that attention away. Like a kid loving his new toy, it only retains its value when its not always readily available.

And no matter what you think, waiting a few days between interactions isn't going to a make a girl more attracted to you; she has to have initial interest in you and even then; striking while the iron's hot is usually a much better policy after attraction is established.

You were calling this confident persistence, when in reality it was a you pursuing a girl that has low interest.

I guess it all comes down to the fact that this chick had low interest, because in other situations Ive met a chick one day and got her number, and some days later I've asked her out and she's agreed. Nothing complicated, pretty simple and direct.

Exactly.

However if I meet a girl I like in my salsa lessons, Im gonna probably see her everyweek for some weeks or months for sure, so how do I do in this cases?

Explained above.

I guess Im gonna try to build rapport, talke to the choosen girl several times, and if everything flows nice, Ill ask her out?

One thing you have to learn to do is figure out what type of girl your dealing with fairly quickly. If you notice she's super hot and seems to love attention, then you can capture her interest by giving her attention sparingly from time to time.

If she's more cute, shy and reserved, you might have to put in more effort to get the ball rolling.

Of course there's no absolutes, it really comes down to figuring out what her confidence level & personality is like and then you devise a game plan.

There's merit to every style of approach, but in this particular case the girl has low interest period.

If you start taking that attention away, she will likely make more effort, but unless she agrees to go out with you 1 on 1, I wouldn't read too much into it.






PIMP