Having your tactics used against you really sucks.

[LoveTheLight]

There was this girl who over the last year and a half, was extremely interested in me. I've never had a girl this into me before. She was being clingy and annoying, so I was just naturally turned off and ignored her advances/comments, but we still hung out because she was in our group of friends.

Anyway, she finally gets the hint I guess and withdraws her attention from me and gets some boyfriend 3 months ago. Now im sitting here and I cant stop thinking about her, being a little jealous/hateful too. Damn he's having sex with her and I could have been that guy. :cuss:

She was a beauty too.

Anyway, she used a common tactic in this community. Withdrew her attention, became the chased instead of the chaser. Guess I was just so used to the attention and now there's not a chance she'll like me again.

Hahahah wow, this SUCKS ass guys. But I'm getting over it, just felt like ranting because I cant really talk to anyone about this. Friends are just a bit judgmental so I keep it secret. What do you do in this situation? Currently getting in better shape and working on my game. Also making sure to try and get my mindset right.

Thanks for listening, if you have any advice or anything, feel free

 

[Purefilth]

Sounds like the only tactic she used here was "he's not interested, NEXT"

You just miss the validation she gave you. Sounds like you have no options, get some.

 

[LoveTheLight]

Sounds like the only tactic she used here was "he's not interested, NEXT"

You just miss the validation she gave you. Sounds like you have no options, get some.

You're right. I'm also not necessarily sure if I like her, but rather I'm regretting not doing anything about it. Maybe im not into her and I just like being chased. Helps the ego a bit.

Im meeting new women at school and have been reading the dj bible and articles on sosuave.com as well as putting them to use. Atleast I've realized my mistakes, but can you really blame me for not wanting a girl who was a massive clinger?

 

[Purefilth]

Honestly, I know exactly how you feel! -been there. That's why I told you my opinion keep reading, stick around and learn some stuff.

(FYI, when her relationship ends, she'll probably come and cling in again :crackup: )

 

[Zarky]

When you're as young as the OP obviously is, you will have more failures with women than successes. You only start getting real good when you're in your 30s, IMHO.

 

[LoveTheLight]

Honestly, I know exactly how you feel! -been there. That's why I told you my opinion keep reading, stick around and learn some stuff.

(FYI, when her relationship ends, she'll probably come and cling in again :crackup: )

Ill definitely lurk around and read up on stuff. Whats the idea behind her coming back to me again? Just incase it matters, I cut contact with her down to a few times a month ever since she got her bf.

Mainly because shes too infatuated with him to hang out with her friends now

 

[yuppaz]

You liked getting your ego stroked is all. You need more options.

 

[LoveTheLight]

You liked getting your ego stroked is all. You need more options.

Yeah its true. Mainly because shes the first girl to show this much interest, I got too comfortable and figured she'd be there to show me affection no matter what.

Like taking a toy away from a kid lol, atleast ive learnt my lesson. Make a move or she'll find someone who will

 

[VladPatton]

Nah, man, don't bųllṣhit yourself. You didn't feel her at the beginning and there was a reason. Let that chump deal with her clinginess or whatever it is that initially turned you off. All that you lost was the hand that was stroking your erect ego and now you hate it.

Chill out and let it go. Be proud you went with your instinctual gut feeling.

Otherwise you would of been here asking for help on how to get rid of her.

 

[LoveTheLight]

Nah, man, don't bųllṣhit yourself. You didn't feel her at the beginning and there was a reason. Let that chump deal with her clinginess or whatever it is that initially turned you off. All that you lost was the hand that was stroking your erect ego and now you hate it.

Chill out and let it go. Be proud you went with your instinctual gut feeling.

Otherwise you would of been here asking for help on how to get rid of her.

Love this reply, thanks man

 

[stevejabba]

There was this girl who over the last year and a half, was extremely interested in me. I've never had a girl this into me before. She was being clingy and annoying, so I was just naturally turned off and ignored her advances/comments, but we still hung out because she was in our group of friends.

Anyway, she finally gets the hint I guess and withdraws her attention from me and gets some boyfriend 3 months ago. Now im sitting here and I cant stop thinking about her, being a little jealous/hateful too. Damn he's having sex with her and I could have been that guy. :cuss:

She was a beauty too.

Anyway, she used a common tactic in this community. Withdrew her attention, became the chased instead of the chaser. Guess I was just so used to the attention and now there's not a chance she'll like me again.

Hahahah wow, this SUCKS ass guys. But I'm getting over it, just felt like ranting because I cant really talk to anyone about this. Friends are just a bit judgmental so I keep it secret. What do you do in this situation? Currently getting in better shape and working on my game. Also making sure to try and get my mindset right.

Thanks for listening, if you have any advice or anything, feel free

What do you mean, you "naturally" turned away from her?

Do you mean you followed the advice of PUAs? Don't forget, most of the time they're like the blind leading the blind, and often come from a place of misogyny or lack of experience themselves!

 

[Packers2010]

Sounds like the only tactic she used here was "he's not interested, NEXT"

You just miss the validation she gave you. Sounds like you have no options, get some.

this. but it also helps ig you BELIEVE you can get girls.

 

[LoveTheLight]

What do you mean, you "naturally" turned away from her?

Do you mean you followed the advice of PUAs? Don't forget, most of the time they're like the blind leading the blind, and often come from a place of misogyny or lack of experience themselves!

I dont think shying away from clingy people is necessarily a PUA tactic, I just did it because it was annoying and I couldnt enjoy my time with my friends.

 

[Zarky]

[Posted in wrong thread.]

 

[floydb25]

There's a more valuable lesson to be learned from this: this is how women view guys when they make things too easy, but still want to keep them around for an ego boost, and become upset / jealous when they no longer have their safety net. It doesnt mean theyre actually attracted to them - even when they come storming back after the person has moved on. Its all about ego and control.

You basically got to experience what its to be like on the dominating side, and how turned off you were by her interest, but still liked the attention of a hottie. Women do the same thing. They love their doormats and orbiters, and will string them along, but dont get turned on by them, or respect them, or value them. Even though theyre hot - the desperation, clinginess, and low status kills their attraction.

Thats why game is so important, so that you DONT act like this girl, or put yourself in these chump positions. Unlike this girl, however, a lot of guys dont leave, and tolerate scraps, pursue harder, and spill their heart out further - only to lower their target's interest more and more. The SO without benefits, or pseudo-relationship is the worst. Gotta have self-respect.

Now you know what NOT to do. The same thing turns women off when guys do it. Or, if you date someone who's whiney, insecure, stupid, tries to hard, is desperate... It turns you off. And so it does when you do it.

Attraction is pretty universal. The same things we dont like - neither do women. Always pay attention to what turns you on or off - then apply the same thing when the tables are turned. You will see why, for example, women like bad boys - instead of *****ing and crying about it. Because, nice girls dont turn us on, either. Everyone likes a challenge, competition, someone of reasonable status, etc.

 

[LoveTheLight]

Nice post floyd, makes so much sense. Thanks. I also know her new bf is also being a chump. Bought her a ring yesterday lol. Oh well, maybe shes into that stuff. Im over it though, thanks for all the replies guys

 

[Buddha_Mind]

OP -- I've been there bro! What you can have you don't want! Once it's gone you want it again! By then they've often changed shades! It sucks man! Hind-sight is 20/20 but always remember there was a reason in the moment you didn't pull the trigger! You can second guess yourself! But maybe you made the right decision and are free from the consequences you chose to avoid! Hang in there man!

 

[LoveTheLight]

OP -- I've been there bro! What you can have you don't want! Once it's gone you want it again! By then they've often changed shades! It sucks man! Hind-sight is 20/20 but always remember there was a reason in the moment you didn't pull the trigger! You can second guess yourself! But maybe you made the right decision and are free from the consequences you chose to avoid! Hang in there man!

I cant thank you guys enough, seriously! This forum gives a ton of solid advice and I feel great about the situation

 

[dap]

Going through this right now. Hot girl was super into me for 2 months and I just let her chase me lol. I put in almost no effort. Assumed that she would keep chasing. Texted me everyday, always initiating kino, etc. All I did was tease her and string her along. One day she just quit. I tried to get her to start up again without success. Feels like I just got NC'd, haha. Actually it does hurt, I admit I enjoyed the ego stroke. And she was pretty hot and smart. I enjoyed showing her off to my friends. Anyway, I've started NC myself now (last 2 months). She's txted a few times about stupid ****, just to feel me out, and I've been brief/polite without showing any interest. Mostly just trying to move on at this point. For the next couple weeks I have to study hard and can't game at all so this makes it a bit harder to move on.