GrowingPains
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 1, 2018
- Messages
- 953
- Reaction score
- 690
- Age
- 30
Since I found The Rational Male profound and paradigm shifting, I suggested it to my friends. I felt they too might be able to glean something from it. One of my close buddies read a chapter of it and never finished as he got busy, but he found the content in it useful and suggested it to a few others whom he discussed the topics Rollo brings up. This was over the course of the past year while we were at different universities.
We were hanging out in London on vacation the other day and started discussing women. What I found most interesting is that even though he only read one chapter, many of the things he was saying align with a lot of the mantra in this community. He seems to have truly internalized the abundance mindset - something I am only starting to get a loose grasp of. Meaning I know how I think I should behave or feel but it still feels like an act to do so. But how can he have done so and to have formed all of these opinions independently of TRM? I recognize that he has had discussions about the content with others and read a little bit so it's not like the ideas spawned entirely independently. Maybe some, maybe not. Not the point. What's even more astonishing is how quickly he seems to have digested the Red Pill in such a short time since I introduced the content to him. Here he is taking TRP in one gulp and it's stuck in my esophagus like when you used to hide your gum and make it reappear in middle school.. what gives?
Gather round chillen' I got su'm fo' yo ass: insight.
Now before you read any further, you need to understand that there is nothing special about what I am going to say. This is how it usually is with most good advice. Simple, seems like it should be common sense, probably not what you want to hear. But listen up y'all, 'cause this is it.
Thesis: the Red Pill can only make sense if the Blue Pill has hurt, confused and abused you. Your experience determines your truth. Or more clearly put; iron men are forged by fire.
I think a majority of men, including myself, came here expecting SoSuave to be a cheat code of sorts to the game. To skip not necessarily the hard work but the pain that comes from failure. To avoid failure. But failure and pain are the ultimate cure to the AFC in you. Pay your dues, boys. Get your hands dirty. Experience is the best teacher. For example: your parents can tell you not to do something or that it's bad but you won't understand why until you finally climb that fence and fall on your ass and have to figure out how to get up and avoid doing it again. You can watch a video on how to backflip.. but you won't be able to backflip until you try it yourself. And after you've over/under-rotated a couple times and busted that ass. Be smart about it and do it on a mat, of course - this is what SoSuave is for.
So in discussion and recalling his previous relationships I started to understand how he absorbed it so quickly. The 3 or so relationships he had in college resulted in him being burned. Cheated on and manipulated. The pain from those experiences allowed him to formulate some of TRP ideology on his own. And when he heard stuff from TRP it... just. made. sense. His experiences allowed him to fully accept TRP as his truth. Obviously someone who felt pain isn't going to keep doing what caused it unless they're a masochist.
So the message here is quite obvious. Sometimes you need to get burned to know not to play with fire. Someone telling you to 'do this and you'll get this' is not enough. It is never that easy and if it sounds easy it's too good to be true. You've heard all of these things before. So you might be asking yourself why I even wrote this. The way that I approached the topic is different from the other articles on the site. They are written from the 'do this and you will get this' format. Which is great because people love quick answers and it makes self improvement seem easy and straightforwad. But it hides the ugly of self improvement. You need to fail to succeed. Even if you succeed at first, I believe you will face struggle eventually and you need to figure out how to overcome it to sustain your success and in that effort you will likely fail. Everyone is afraid to feel pain. To fail. Most great triumphs were born out of struggle and fully believing in it. Just recall Batman escaping that jail in the desert. Trained hard as fvck. Failed. Trained again and ditched the rope. Made the jump like MJ from the free throw line.
Pain and failure are part of the process. I believe I haven't fully internalized TRP and destroyed the beta in me rather than merely suppressing it because I have not truly experienced these uncomfortable situations. Sure, I experienced some failures with approaching girls or being confused by them and I've gotten better for it. But the only thing that gave me the discomfort needed to start digesting TRP was my breakup last year. But I think there's more struggle to be endured before I truly swallow it.
Sure I wish all men were raised with this mindset and didn't have to go through this metamorphosis.. but it is what it is for now. We wouldn't be here if it wasn't the case.
Fail responsibly, my friends.
We were hanging out in London on vacation the other day and started discussing women. What I found most interesting is that even though he only read one chapter, many of the things he was saying align with a lot of the mantra in this community. He seems to have truly internalized the abundance mindset - something I am only starting to get a loose grasp of. Meaning I know how I think I should behave or feel but it still feels like an act to do so. But how can he have done so and to have formed all of these opinions independently of TRM? I recognize that he has had discussions about the content with others and read a little bit so it's not like the ideas spawned entirely independently. Maybe some, maybe not. Not the point. What's even more astonishing is how quickly he seems to have digested the Red Pill in such a short time since I introduced the content to him. Here he is taking TRP in one gulp and it's stuck in my esophagus like when you used to hide your gum and make it reappear in middle school.. what gives?
Gather round chillen' I got su'm fo' yo ass: insight.
Now before you read any further, you need to understand that there is nothing special about what I am going to say. This is how it usually is with most good advice. Simple, seems like it should be common sense, probably not what you want to hear. But listen up y'all, 'cause this is it.
Thesis: the Red Pill can only make sense if the Blue Pill has hurt, confused and abused you. Your experience determines your truth. Or more clearly put; iron men are forged by fire.
I think a majority of men, including myself, came here expecting SoSuave to be a cheat code of sorts to the game. To skip not necessarily the hard work but the pain that comes from failure. To avoid failure. But failure and pain are the ultimate cure to the AFC in you. Pay your dues, boys. Get your hands dirty. Experience is the best teacher. For example: your parents can tell you not to do something or that it's bad but you won't understand why until you finally climb that fence and fall on your ass and have to figure out how to get up and avoid doing it again. You can watch a video on how to backflip.. but you won't be able to backflip until you try it yourself. And after you've over/under-rotated a couple times and busted that ass. Be smart about it and do it on a mat, of course - this is what SoSuave is for.
So in discussion and recalling his previous relationships I started to understand how he absorbed it so quickly. The 3 or so relationships he had in college resulted in him being burned. Cheated on and manipulated. The pain from those experiences allowed him to formulate some of TRP ideology on his own. And when he heard stuff from TRP it... just. made. sense. His experiences allowed him to fully accept TRP as his truth. Obviously someone who felt pain isn't going to keep doing what caused it unless they're a masochist.
So the message here is quite obvious. Sometimes you need to get burned to know not to play with fire. Someone telling you to 'do this and you'll get this' is not enough. It is never that easy and if it sounds easy it's too good to be true. You've heard all of these things before. So you might be asking yourself why I even wrote this. The way that I approached the topic is different from the other articles on the site. They are written from the 'do this and you will get this' format. Which is great because people love quick answers and it makes self improvement seem easy and straightforwad. But it hides the ugly of self improvement. You need to fail to succeed. Even if you succeed at first, I believe you will face struggle eventually and you need to figure out how to overcome it to sustain your success and in that effort you will likely fail. Everyone is afraid to feel pain. To fail. Most great triumphs were born out of struggle and fully believing in it. Just recall Batman escaping that jail in the desert. Trained hard as fvck. Failed. Trained again and ditched the rope. Made the jump like MJ from the free throw line.
Pain and failure are part of the process. I believe I haven't fully internalized TRP and destroyed the beta in me rather than merely suppressing it because I have not truly experienced these uncomfortable situations. Sure, I experienced some failures with approaching girls or being confused by them and I've gotten better for it. But the only thing that gave me the discomfort needed to start digesting TRP was my breakup last year. But I think there's more struggle to be endured before I truly swallow it.
Sure I wish all men were raised with this mindset and didn't have to go through this metamorphosis.. but it is what it is for now. We wouldn't be here if it wasn't the case.
Fail responsibly, my friends.
