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Having rich parents

StevenR

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I may regret writing this post, or it may come off as sounding stupid, but the recent car posts and a few recent dates I have had got me thinking. If your parents were, to put it bluntly, filthy rich, or close to it, what would you say to dates if the subject came up in conversation? Does it matter what you say if the subject of how/what are your parents doing comes up in conversation?

I don't think I fit the profile of the typical spoiled super rich kid. When I was growing up we were well off, like upper middle class similar to a typical doctor, but not super rich or anything. I was lucky to get my education paid for and a few other things, but growing up we were nothing special. In the years since I left and have been on my own the business that my parents started has done really well. It took them years of hard work to build it up to what it is now, and I remember growing up they often didn't have as much time to spend with us kids as other parents who had regular jobs did.

Now, I think their business is worth around 20 million if they were to sell it today, and they have other investments as well. They also have two multi- million dollar houses, their primary one in Washington with would be fully paid for but I guess they get some tax benefit from owing a little money on it, and one in Florida that is fully paid for, as well as other luxury items like a couple boats and a sports car, all paid for(my dad's attitude is if you have to buy luxury items with credit, you really should not be buying them at all). Then they go on private chartered African safaris and various other world travels. I am happy for them because they worked all their life to get there, but it is something that is sort of new to me. This has mostly happened since I left home, it is like they won the lottery or something.

I am middle class if that, and I don't get millions of dollars in trust fund money every month or anything like is the stereotype. My younger brother is a little spoiled, he is an attorney, but the parents bought him a sportscar as a graduation gift and a nice condo in Seattle. They offered to help me with a house but so far I haven't taken them up on the offer. I am just an average or even below average Joe as far as personal wealth goes.

My question is what are girls going to think when they gradually figure this out, or it comes up in conversation? Is it any big deal? Do lots of college educated people have parents in similar situations? At my age do they care one way of the other? Will they look at me as a spoiled brat? Will they see dollar signs in their eyes?(even though it will be years, if ever, before my parents financial success ever benefits me, perhaps I don't have to worry about personal retirement as much). Just curious if anyone else has had a similar life experience and what they tell chicks when the subject comes up, or if it even matters at all. The subject of parents and what our parents did/do has come up in some conversations with women from this online dating thing, and I am never sure exactly what to say or how up front I should be, and what goes through their minds, what they are thinking based on what I say.
 

Hockey Playa

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Dont use it as leverage with women, it should just be a bonus when they get to know you, you should just reply, that you were well off, and your grateful, and you still like to work hard, shouldnt come off as bragging
 

Ingeniarius

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I am in a similar situation, my dad is a senior exec with the second largest company world-wide in his field and belongs to the top 10% earners in the country. He does very well. I do not bring it up, but people notice that for example I do not worry about how I am going to pay next year's tuition and books.

I do not bring it up or talk about it, most people figure it out on their own. Then they also realize I don't go on vacations and spend much money on going out and drinks and clothes, and then realize I try to make my own money and not be dependent on my parents. I save enough of my allowance and work money to pay for some stuff like leisure books and some decent furniture, but that's about it.

Actions speak louder than words here. If you do not spend your parents' money, which you don't, you do not need to worry about it. I don't.

If people ask me what my father does, I say he is a PhD scientist with X, which he is because he has a PhD and did research and applied for lots of patents. That's what he always says too if asked.

I can't remember that anyone ever judged me on what my dad does. People figure it out when they get to know me, but my neighbor is a mid-level accountant and the other a cabinet maker by trade. We live in a normal neighborhood, and the only thing people notice is that I have traveled quite a bit, probably more and most people do in a lifetime.

All in all, it's just not really important if you don't live the life of a rich kid.
 

lordson

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well, first off, your posting here, so you're not the typical spoilt rich kid. that just means, dont worry about it then, let your own character shine through.

and if you are in fact a spoilt rich kid, that will also shine through and some girls will love that. not the type of girls that will be good for LTR's but you'll still get girls

if you're a nice, normal balanced bloke, then you'll attract all sorts of girls. dont brag about it, but honestly i know heaps of girls and they love rich guys. they won't go out with a rich guy if they dont like his personality, but it is a big bonus to them
 

Heart Break Kid

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Just accept it but don't flaunt it. It's in your attitude and it will come out more flattering if you treat it as normal. I made the mistake of being rather spoiled when I was young so by the time I entered university I was disgusted with wealth and I refused money/tuition/condo/car from my parents. Until I learned how small business and the stock market worked (second year of uni after saving up enough to invest) it was literally hell for me. No one should ever have to eat ramen noodles + dry fruit for months -- it makes one both ghostly skinny and bitter.

Anyway I realized there must be a middle ground and so far that has worked best for me and my family is a lot less frightened. I will not say anything about money but if she comes to my place or asks what I do for a living I'll let her find out.

It's essential that it happens after there is initial attraction unless you are looking for a one night stand.
 

StevenR

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So what did women think of you when you were eating top ramen and dry fruit?
 

Heart Break Kid

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StevenR said:
So what did women think of you when you were eating top ramen and dry fruit?
It was terrible for my physique but in general I do not feel I was ever disqualified out of anything critical except by my attitude itself. I could still go out with quality women when I was bitter/poor. However, I was self-conscious about my place and I would rarely invite girls over (not to mention I saw less women than now) but if I was going out with a girl we would almost always have to go to her place. I found even though I was invited I felt as if she was providing for me and I would refuse things which sabotaged one of my relationships. I'm sure at least one hated me for it.

I felt lack of money took the issues I had inside me and inflated them to much higher levels. Once I conquered my inner game it started getting much better for me. I remember one day I was with a good friend of mine (still in my crap apartment) which was the first day I was making enough money that her and I could buy a couple lobsters and while we're boiling them she asked me if I accepted money from my parents and kept playing the market as I was now couldn't I triple my income. That's the day my attitude towards having wealthy parents changed. Instead of pulling issues out of me I feel money now gives me a bit more of a shine. However I keep it subtle because the difference between a shine and a glare is them dating you for you, or for your money.

Money in my experience puts the spotlight on you for better or for worse. If you have issues you are likely to be scoffed, called spoiled, and dated mostly by gold-diggers. If however you're a true DJ and you know your own value money will be like that friend who flatters you behind your back.

You can also get away with a lot more. =)
 
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