Having problems dealing with this Oneitis, its the worst I've ever had

[Brighty]

I'll try to keep this short and brief. Basically me and this girl have had a "thing" for all four years of high school but I lacked the confidence to really escalate it until Junior year, but by then I was out of her league and went after other girls. I used to have bad, BAD oneitis for her, but that faded quickly junior year. But for God sake, it lasted TWO years and we HARDLY talked. Now, senior year, she's with a boyfriend who's kind of an AFC and they've been together for a year or so now.... but senior year she's gotten quite a bit more attractive and we went on a school sponsored retreat together last week.

On the retreat she showed me major IOIs (laughed at all of the stupid **** I did) and that she's still interested in me and we flirted back and forth quite a bit. Unfortunately, the feelings of oneitis remerged and now I can't stop thinking about her again. The retreat was all about opening up and just vibing with other people and since I got back I had a half a mind to write her a letter telling her about my feelings for her and how I just want to get them off my chest, at this point I would love her to return the feelings for me but more importantly I want to be able to bring closure to this. We have two months left of school and after that, she's going away to California and I probably will never see her again, or at the very least, 10 years from now at our reunion. I cannot BE hung up on her and I can't have this eating at me when I start college next semester.

I don't know what to do, I ended up talking to her just a few minutes ago on facebook and I was debating on whether or not to just go ahead and say either "Hey, we need to talk" or saying "Hey, expect a letter from me in a few days". At the last second, I caught myself, thinking that this would be a huge AFC move and would go against everything I've learned in the past two years. I decided to say nothing, and we just ended the conversation like that. Now, I have this horrible sick feeling in my stomach and I feel terrible. What the fyck do I do? Do I just go complete AFC on this girl and send her a letter in the mail? I need closure to this, she won't stop running through my mind, and like a disease its back in full force since last week.

I'm at a complete loss here, fellas. What would you guys recommend?

 

[Captain]

You may have already blown it, just ask her out. She'll either say yes, and you'll be happy, or say no and you'll be able to stop wasting your time.

Make sure you ask her out over the phone. Not by text or over facebook. You need to talk with and date other girls to overcome your oneitis.

 

[Maxtro]

My suggestion and this may be bad advice. It seems like you know that you do not have a chance with her at all. What you are most desiring is closure. I have already been in almost the exact same situation as you.

So here's what to do.

Arrange a meeting with her. Go complete AFC and tell her everything about how you feel for her. Your goal is to get a rejection. Doing it this way there is about a 97% chance she will reject you but she will do it in a very nice way.

When you go back to your home you can have the satisfaction that you gave it your all. you won't be left with any what if's. You must also realize that it's over and done and time to move on.

Do not write a letter because you will never get a response. You must do it in person.

 

[Dr.Gonzo]

I'm going through a similar situation involving my female housemate. I told her my feelings and she rejected me. I thought it would be closure but her rejection and proximity contributed to me not getting over it and ultimately losing my game as I have not gamed any girl since and wallowed in self-pity for too long. You should get your feelings off your chest in this situation because you and her are parting ways and the last thing you need is regret for not acting on your gut bugging you for years and years.

I still remain at wit's ends trying to get over my oneitis but unlike your's I feel she is playing me more and more since I told her my feelings, partially because I haven't talked to her about and it and also my over-analyzing of all of our relations. Bite the bullet, be a man and tell the girl but in a subtle not approaching way. I think the reason I was rejected was my direct approach which scared her back to her boyfriend. The only feeling this bird gives me is negative and I have tried to distance myself from her. In your situation it will be a lot easier to tell her what your feelings are and then if she rejects you, at least you have closure and don't have to worry about running into her which will help your overall mental health. Don't make the mistake of not telling her. I told my oneitis and it feels better but the proximity of her is the only reason it still really bugs me out. Remember bra, just tell her and get over with, but too her face, staring into her eyes the whole time.

 

[Brighty]

Can I get a few more takes on this before I make my decision? Thanks guys.

 

[KontrollerX]

Whatever you do don't send her a fvcking huge sappy emotional letter about your feelings.

Instead just ask her out or ask her to come hang out with you and then make a move on her.

Its that simple.

If she feels the same way about you, you'll find out quickly.

If you send that emotional sappy letter she'll look at you as weak and undesireable and friendzone you.

You don't say "we need to talk" where you then vomit your feelings onto her as she'll just do the same thing ie find you weak and undesireable and friendzone you.

Instead be a man, show her what you want and then you will either get what you want or be denied but you'll do it from the correct place.

The place of strength and action which is the only proper way for any man to do this.

Leave the letter writing and we need to talks to the lowly AFC douchebags.

 

[DJDamage]

What the fyck do I do? Do I just go complete AFC on this girl and send her a letter in the mail? I need closure to this, she won't stop running through my mind, and like a disease its back in full force since last week.

I'm at a complete loss here, fellas. What would you guys recommend?

I wish I could reach across the computer screen and smack you upside down the head.

Listen to yourself : "Oneitis" "Letter expressing how I feel" "Closure" that's all pvssy talk which won't do you any good.

You got yourself into this oneitis and now you need to get yourself out of it. If that means that you stop talking to this broad so be it. If that means you have to go out and nail a couple of chicks so be it. Until you clear your head out of your oneitis, you are in no position to make a rational judgement nor be in the right mindset to pull this off properly.

By the way who the fvck needs a closure anyway? especially when nothing really happen? all the relationship you had with her was in your head and now you feel the need for "closure"? see it sounds fvcked up already.