Having Kids Without Commitment

[Desdinova]

I saw an interesting post by runner83 in the DJD forum. Here's the quote:

The ideal situation is to knock up a married woman and get some other poor sap to raise your kids. I almost did that a few years back.

I've been trying to think of what the alternative would be to getting married or living with a woman to have kids. A good half of marriages fail these days, and men get fvcked up the ass with child support and equalization.

So, is this the answer if you want kids without commitment? I was thinking that maybe adoption or joining the Big Brothers would be the way to go. It's that, or take the financial and emotional risk with a woman to start a family. Thoughts?

 

[Warrior74]

Why would you want kids without commitment? By commitment I mean committing to the well being and mental upbringing of your children. What would be the point? To pass on your genetics? Jerk it in a cup and donate sperm if that's all you're looking for.

 

[SteR]

Is this a joke?

 

[pdx1138]

yeah real ideal there.

 

[runner83]

For a man, simplifying it a lot, having kids basically comes down to two factors:

* Contributing your genes.
* Spending your time and resources to help raise the kid.

So, if you want to have any involvement with kids whatsoever, there are 3 options:


1) Contribute your genes, then have nothing to do with raising the kid.

This is the deadbeat dad (i.e. get her pregnant then leave), or the cuckold (get a married / taken woman pregnant, then get the other bloke to raise the kid not knowing it isn't his) scenarios.


2) Contribute your genes, and also contribute to raising the kids.

This is the usual situation, where you are in a relationship with a woman and raise the kid with her.

Unfortunately in today's society, this is becoming increasingly undesirable for men, due to the risks associated with marriage.


3) Don't contribute your genes, but contribute your resources (including time) to raising the kid.


There are a few ways in which this can happen:

* An inverse of 1) is where you may unwittingly raise another man's kid, completely unaware that it is not yours and that your partner cheated on you to get pregnant. This is obviously pretty bad.

* You may make the altruistic and very noble choice to adopt or assist in raising a kid.


I'm not making any moral judgments on any of the above, and it depends on what you want out of your life.

 

[Desdinova]

Is this a joke?

I'm just trying to see where the options are for raising a child in today's world. Marriage is becoming obsolete, and greedy lawyers dip their hands into the pockets of those involved in a ruined relationship.

Where does raising children fit into a world like this?

The Sperm Bank may be the most logical option for a man.

 

[DJDamage]

Where does raising children fit into a world like this?

Kids are pretty much obsolete in our western society. It used to be that a man with many kids would be considered a success because he owned them and they would work for him. Now kids are just burning a hole in your wallet, cause more strain in relationships, leaving you with more stress and a lot less time for yourself.

The Sperm Bank may be the most logical option for a man.

For what reasons?! to pass on your genes?! bad idea.

1) a couple generations down the road and your own genes will be so mixed up that tracing them directly back to you won't be so different then your entire long distance family. You are the sum of millions of people and so will be your future offsprings.

2) Part of your ability to choose a mate, is hopefully choosing a woman with the best attributes so she can raise good healthy children.

You put your sperms in a bank and some fat ugly crazy sickly woman will have access to them and pass on her bad genes to your future offsprings who will be taking a few steps back, instead of a better and more successful future if you actually choose your mate.

 

[speed dawg]

Marriage is becoming obsolete.

Get rid of this negative thinking. The world is the same place it's always been. The negative has always been here and will continue to be here, no matter how much technology or money we have.

I could give you examples of my own religious convictions about marriage and why I do believe in my particular religion and its relationship to marriage, but I know that's frowned upon here. But just know, that's the reason. If you do not subscribe to religion, then I'm not sure why you ever would consider marriage and/or kids. They all go together.

Live your life according to what you want I suppose, since that's obviously what most of this forum believes. Do whatever you want to do and don't let 'western society' dictate anything.

Alot of defeatism going on around here lately.

The Sperm Bank may be the most logical option for a man.

WTF??? What does this have to do with raising kids????????????? Do you want to raise kids or jack off? This sounds like arrogance to the nth degree, as if your sperm is some sort of gift to humanity. I'd think they'd prefer Lebron James or Tom Brady honestly.

 

[5string]

Knock up a married woman? WTF kind of thinking is that? A DJ would not do that and then let some poor chump raise the kid. Geez.

Unless you can be responsible for the child, best not unzip your pants, period.

 

[PDubb75]

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! This is having me rolling! Are you guys kidding me???

First of all, how are you mentioning "knocking up a married woman so some poor sap raises your kids" and donating to a sperm bank when talking about options for raising kids? This is easily one of the most ridiculous threads I have ever seen here.

What benefit is there to spreading your genes if you have no part of the child's life? Your name, family history, morals that you pass on to kids are one thing. But laying on your death bed, what does it do for you to know there is some kid out there, that you never met, that is partially made up of your genes?

But the winner has to go to

Kids are pretty much obsolete in our western society.

Obsolete??? Yeah, who needs kids anymore anyway?? Let's just keep producing these adults in the lab to help our growing civilization thrive at a record pace!

Keep it coming guys... pure comedy.

 

[speed dawg]

Kids are pretty much obsolete in our western society.

Good grief. So you want to end all of human race in the western society after our lifetimes?

 

[SteR]

I'm just trying to see where the options are for raising a child in today's world. Marriage is becoming obsolete, and greedy lawyers dip their hands into the pockets of those involved in a ruined relationship.

Where does raising children fit into a world like this?

The Sperm Bank may be the most logical option for a man.

My bad.. I thought you were advocating knocking up random women so you could spread your genes, ha!

 

[Warrior74]

I saw an interesting post by runner83 in the DJD forum. Here's the quote:



I've been trying to think of what the alternative would be to getting married or living with a woman to have kids. A good half of marriages fail these days, and men get fvcked up the ass with child support and equalization.

So, is this the answer if you want kids without commitment? I was thinking that maybe adoption or joining the Big Brothers would be the way to go. It's that, or take the financial and emotional risk with a woman to start a family. Thoughts?

Listen if you want children with no commitment to a woman, here is how you do it. YOU PAY FOR IT.

You get on the Googles and you find a reputable source for human eggs. Then you find some Indian or third world woman (or very trusted relative) to carry your baby to term (to avoid legal issues). And then you raise your child yourself, hiring a nanny to help with him. Can't afford that? Get married, or don't have kids. But that's how you get a son with out a commitment to a woman.

 

[The_411]

Whoa whoa whoa something has gone haywire here. Men take care of their offspring. Now you don't have to subscribe to marriage, but some of the stuff being proposed here is insane and inane. You guys do realize that 50% of the kids genetic make-up is of the woman so why would you have a kid with a low quality women if you could help it? Of course, if you think all women are low quality then why even bother having kids?

Kids aren't pets and those that are raised in single parent or in dysfunctional family situations are at a massive disadvantage. Doesn't mean a kid can't succeed but why make it 3x more difficult?

 

[DJDamage]

Good grief. So you want to end all of human race in the western society after our lifetimes?

No, kids are obsolete in terms of their usefulness to your own life not for the human race.