"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Having girls on the side

flyinshark

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This is a 2-part question (2 posts):

Did you guys notice that some girls go from boyfriend to boyfriend with incredible ease?

One of the reasons for that could be because those girls had been having a plan B guy (i.e. seeing another guy on the side and determining if he is boyfriend material). Then, when the plan B seems better than the actual boyfriend, the girl simply switches boyfriends and voila! Easy move.

Now, if girls do that, so can we, right?! I never thought of doing this before because i was happy with my girlfriends and thought that i was cheating them in a way, if i was to see other girls on the side.

I think i was very wrong!!! One might speculate that my actual girlfriend might be seeing other guys on the side, just in case she finds someone better, or to be safe if i break up with her; and that statement is probably right! It sucks, but i think that's life. You gotta be selfish and try to put all the chances on your side.

So do you guys think having girls on the side is something every DJ should do, or is it morally wrong?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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flyinshark

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My second question is: When you meet a girl that you want to have on the side, do you tell her that you are seeing someone, or do you tell them you are single?

I know this girl from kick boxing class that is hot and i would like to make her fall for me. So i wonder, will telling her that i have a gf make her jealous (in a good way, as she would try to have me), or would it make her go "oh, he's unavailable, he's not date material" ?

I know it depends on girls, but which statement has a higher success rate, from your experiences: saying that you are single, or saying that you have a gf?

Thanks guys
 

smoke city

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question 1: Yes, many women do this. your girlfriend probably does it, and you don't know. a woman's experience is not like ours. women ALWAYS have lots of other (single) men around, looking for an opportunity to date them. and generally you're mistaken if you think they're not ALWAYS calculating and measuring their options.
You should always, first and foremost, be looking out for your own happiness. even when i'm happy with a woman, as I am now, I still have other female friends with whom i keep a nice sexual tension so that the friendship never becomes "too platonic." you don't have to go messing around with other people (i don't), but you can still have slightly ambiguous friendships...which are more fun for both people. the upshot is that later on when you become single, the nature of your friendship is such that they don't think it would be totally weird to date you -- in fact they might have already considered it!


second question: many times in my life, i've had girls come on to me when i had a girlfriend -- they were NEVER slowed down by knowing that i had a girlfriend...in fact i think it sort of feeds into their natural competitive and territorial instincts.
 

DonJuanMonk

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It's not something a DJ should do or not do, nor is it morally right or wrong.

If you want to go waste time and energy on an extra girl, GO AHEAD. If you are willing to accept any consequences if the other girl finds out, GO AHEAD.
Last but not least, don't you know that women are the weaker sex (F.U. Wyldfire) out here, if you want to stoop to their level and do the things they do, GO AHEAD.

I'm not going to tell you what to do or theorize what might happen like some people, You make that decision yourself.
 

RaWBLooD

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I don't have morals, so the former.
Morals are restrictions based on your view of "justice" but whos to say your justice is the ultimate justice? and how can you control it ALL, you cannot. So just let it flow and stop condemning ****.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Life-Trainee

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I don't see anything wrong with having a backup plan. Emotions are not set in stone we're only human right?
 
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