I learned a great deal from this website way back in the days. Thanks for all the know-how. Now I'm an old-timer by our standards
Let me give you some datapoints of what's waiting for you in 10-15 years:
1) having a kid is one of hardest things in life. 10X worse than kidney stones. you need to be a masochist. seriously. people say it's pleasure and it is pleasure but lots of pain to get there. Lots.
2) people live 80 yrs average. You get married at 25 -> you will be w/ same person for next 50 years. 50 yrs. Think about that... you can eat the same icecream only so many times...
3) you have two options: have kids early and then be kid-free during 2nd life (i.e. marry at 25, kid free at 45yrs old.). Or have kids late but be kid free before retirement (kid at 35-40, +20 yrs, they are gone before you reach 67). Which one is better? You decide. If you think you'll have a better career, save more money, and be able to (or want to) do other stuff, then get married late. If you think you have the financial means or support from family for spouse+kids, then you can do the first option.
4) Cost of Kids = lots of time and money for 20yrs. There is no getting away from this unfortunatley. say, $20k/year on average (this worth of time/money). Can you provide this? Can you save for retirement while paying this cost?
5) There is a time difference between men and women to get "mature" - Women want to get married and have kids before 30 (latest 35). As a male, I wasn't mature until 35. A good option is to reach 35-40 to marry a 10yr younger woman, so timing works well for both spouses
- this is what I did.
6) Before getting married, put your spouse through many tests. i.e. take them to a camping site w/ terrible bathroom facilitites - watch how much they complain. Whatever they perform, once kid is born, it will get 500% worse.
7) The first 5 yrs of kids is especially very difficult. Very difficult. As somebody else said it, you and your spouse will learn what love is actually. Good news you will love your kid more than yourself - bad news you will realized you didn't love your spouse but liked them
So be prepared to get a divorce.
8) Before you get married, do a pre-nup. People live 80yrs so after 30yrs, a divorce is very possible. Rather than going thru the emotional rollercoaster, prepare to split things or separate them ahead of time. This doesn't get executed unless divorce happens. This is another good test to put your spouse through.
Having been thru two marriages w/ kids, this is same advise I will give my boys (in addition to sending them to this website
).
1) having a kid is one of hardest things in life. 10X worse than kidney stones. you need to be a masochist. seriously. people say it's pleasure and it is pleasure but lots of pain to get there. Lots.
2) people live 80 yrs average. You get married at 25 -> you will be w/ same person for next 50 years. 50 yrs. Think about that... you can eat the same icecream only so many times...
3) you have two options: have kids early and then be kid-free during 2nd life (i.e. marry at 25, kid free at 45yrs old.). Or have kids late but be kid free before retirement (kid at 35-40, +20 yrs, they are gone before you reach 67). Which one is better? You decide. If you think you'll have a better career, save more money, and be able to (or want to) do other stuff, then get married late. If you think you have the financial means or support from family for spouse+kids, then you can do the first option.
4) Cost of Kids = lots of time and money for 20yrs. There is no getting away from this unfortunatley. say, $20k/year on average (this worth of time/money). Can you provide this? Can you save for retirement while paying this cost?
5) There is a time difference between men and women to get "mature" - Women want to get married and have kids before 30 (latest 35). As a male, I wasn't mature until 35. A good option is to reach 35-40 to marry a 10yr younger woman, so timing works well for both spouses
6) Before getting married, put your spouse through many tests. i.e. take them to a camping site w/ terrible bathroom facilitites - watch how much they complain. Whatever they perform, once kid is born, it will get 500% worse.
7) The first 5 yrs of kids is especially very difficult. Very difficult. As somebody else said it, you and your spouse will learn what love is actually. Good news you will love your kid more than yourself - bad news you will realized you didn't love your spouse but liked them
8) Before you get married, do a pre-nup. People live 80yrs so after 30yrs, a divorce is very possible. Rather than going thru the emotional rollercoaster, prepare to split things or separate them ahead of time. This doesn't get executed unless divorce happens. This is another good test to put your spouse through.
Having been thru two marriages w/ kids, this is same advise I will give my boys (in addition to sending them to this website