Having a woman know you want to have sex with her - good or bad?

[wonderer]

I always thought that bringing up sex in conversation, and getting her thinking about the idea of you both having sex was a good thing. This gets your intentions across and she knows you'd be up for it.

reading the rational male however I came across this:

“Overtly communicating a desire for reciprocal desire creates obligation, and sometimes even ultimatums. Genuine desire is something a person must come to – or be led to – of their own volition.”

So I'm a little confused.

been spinning a plate at the moment and have been saying things like "I would". and talking about her giving me a BJ as a present for not seeing me in ages. Should I not be doing this? I kind of like direct game.


Edit: I cant change the title but "want to have sex with her" sounds needy, more like "would have sex with her"

 

[YAboi]

that quote means you should not be telegraphing the fact that you want her to be attracted to you by all means through asking things like "do you like me as much as I like you". Rather be indifferent to the outcome and believe she is turned on anyway and plod along.

 

[dasein]

Talking about sex subtly with innuendo is fine, even early on, preferably in context of something romantic or sensual they can buy into. Talking about it overtly or crudely makes them angry, it's their -store- and stock in trade you are dissing on and devaluing after all, but may work too. I work into it by talking about emotionally charged experiences, can be positive or negative, then getting them talking about same. Start talking about deep feelings you have experienced "that reminds me of this time..."

I have three particular "canned killer" stories (think Reservoir Dogs when they are training Tim Roth how to be believable undercover) that are -totally- sexual about climactic feelings rising and releasing, without mentioning sex at all, not once. One worked so well that I wrote it down on paper and started sending it out to recently met women asking them for their "thoughts on this particular chapter of a book of memoirs I am writing." LAWLZ, worked like a charm, led to sex with three different hot, professional, educated (not bimbo) women within 30 minutes of first date type meeting. Sure you can talk about sex, and should, just in the right way.

 

[GotED?]

Dude - talking about wanting SEX directly with a woman is like pulling the pin on the grenade and think it is not going to explode in your face.

YOU JUST NEED TO FOCUS ON CREATING RAPPORT & COMFORT WITH HER.

By being with a woman alone one on one (on a date, etc) - she already knows what you want in the end - every WOMAN KNOWS.

You don't need to fuel the flame by being retarded and verbalizing it - any woman will find it extremely rude and turned off most of all.

Exodus

 

[SgtSplacker]

Stop putting your intentions out there man. Good game is all about planting a suggestion and letting her run with it.

You don't tell a girl "i want to have sex with you"

It's all about suggestion, flirtatious looks, a comment here and there, an open ended proposal. Be slick about it man.

I like to be as flirtatious as I can as long as it's not getting in the way of a good time, i'll make passes at women all day with a smile on my face. And it's ok because I keep things light, they get used to it and I never make my intentions clear. It initially comes off as a type of sexy comedy to them but they are never sure if I really want to bang them. Then when the time is right (at the end of the night) i'll invite her to my place with an innocent suggestion. Coffee, movies, a smoke? She knows whats up? She either says yes or no and guess what? I NEVER ASKED HER FOR SEX. No stress no failure. Light and fun.

The point here is that they must understand you are a sexual being and stop treating you like their buddy. You are not the one to come to for help or advice. You are the one to come to for a drink and late night frolic. There is nothing wrong with this.

 

[wonderer]

The point here is that they must understand you are a sexual being and stop treating you like their buddy.

This is what ive been trying to convey, that Im not afraid of being sexual. Definitely havent gone out and said "I want to have sex with you".

Ive been using innuendos, saying how great her ass is, grabbing her bum, making jokes about getting a bj from her (which she started).

Through all of this she knows that I would have sex with her. I did say once when we got back to hers that if we were gunna have sex she'd have to initiate it. I know this was piss piss poor but I know better now. She just took it as a joke. Maybe I should stop saying "I would" to her implying I would have sex with her. Guess the games up now though and something to take note for the future

Think ive been taken the wrong way here.

 

[bukowski_merit]

Definitely havent gone out and said "I want to have sex with you".

And that's the main thing you want to avoid.


I'll have explicit sexual conversations with a woman. But never say I want her.

I'll invite her over. But never say it's for sex.

---

I personally try to talk more about what she likes, and put myself into sexual conversations as much as possible. But that's mostly what my game is (Being sex and finding women to keep up with me.)

Example: having a conversation with this woman about sex where she mentioned she liked handcuffs. I said, "So if we were getting into it and I pulled out some handcuffs and put them on you - it's drive you wild?" She said a resounding "YES" and acted like she was having a mini-orgasm just thinking about it....

To me - that's fine sexual talk. But saying "I want to take you home and throw handcuffs on you." Has a much bigger chance of meeting resistance (putting up her ASD).

 

[SgtSplacker]

This is what ive been trying to convey, that Im not afraid of being sexual. Definitely havent gone out and said "I want to have sex with you".

Ive been using innuendos, saying how great her ass is, grabbing her bum, making jokes about getting a bj from her (which she started).

Through all of this she knows that I would have sex with her. I did say once when we got back to hers that if we were gunna have sex she'd have to initiate it. I know this was piss piss poor but I know better now. She just took it as a joke. Maybe I should stop saying "I would" to her implying I would have sex with her. Guess the games up now though and something to take note for the future

Think ive been taken the wrong way here.

If you are already playing graba$$ with her then it's past time buddy.

Listen....

STOP BEING WORRIED SHE WILL REJECT YOU!

If she does it's for the better, your life does not have room for women that are neither here nor there. <== TRUTH

Invite her over, or somewhere alone. "i'm bored lets go grab a drink..."

It's as easy as that.

Throw your arm around her squeeze her arm and hips slowly so it doesn't get confused for play.

Tell her her lips are beautiful then go in for the kill!!!!!!!

She pulls away say ops my horniness got the best of me, it's your fault for being so gorgeous...

AND NEVER CALL HER AGAIN!

 

[VladPatton]

If you are already playing graba$$ with her then it's past time buddy.

Listen....

STOP BEING WORRIED SHE WILL REJECT YOU!

If she does it's for the better, your life does not have room for women that are neither here nor there. <== TRUTH

Invite her over, or somewhere alone. "i'm bored lets go grab a drink..."

It's as easy as that.

Throw your arm around her squeeze her arm and hips slowly so it doesn't get confused for play.

Tell her her lips are beautiful then go in for the kill!!!!!!!

She pulls away say ops my horniness got the best of me, it's your fault for being so gorgeous...

AND NEVER CALL HER AGAIN!

^^^^^This. Duly noted. You learn shıt every day in here.

 

[pdx1138]

It's actually kind of fun to do this with a woman after the fact.

You liked them, made it apparent but without saying anything.

Then months or years later bringing it up if it can be done smoothly over casual conversation.

It's rare to be able to get the circumstances, but it's fun when much later they flirt with you knowing you've found someone else.

 

[Bossman90]

Dude - talking about wanting SEX directly with a woman is like pulling the pin on the grenade and think it is not going to explode in your face.

YOU JUST NEED TO FOCUS ON CREATING RAPPORT & COMFORT WITH HER.

By being with a woman alone one on one (on a date, etc) - she already knows what you want in the end - every WOMAN KNOWS.

You don't need to fuel the flame by being retarded and verbalizing it - any woman will find it extremely rude and turned off most of all.

Exodus

agreed, being verbally open about sex with women is the wrong way to go. Its better to be indirect and insatiate rather than say, it gets them aroused better.

 

[bigneil]

While I hated to hear it at the time, one of my all-time greatest loves once said "A girl doesn't want to know you like her until the last possible second".

 

[Dgwizdal]

All women know you want to have sex with them. Game is nothing more than "indirectly" triggering the right feelings within her hamster that deems you worthy of giving it to her.

 

[wonderer]

Thanks guys,

So let me see if I've understood this correctly:


Talking about sex is important - it lets her know that you are a sexual being and not afraid of your sexuality. It is used as a tool (Amongst several) of staying away from the friendzone. BUT talking about sex should never be directed towards her, this eludes the mystery about yourself to her and you want her to come to her own natural choice. She wants to feel like she's earned it, it's human nature to want something you can't have or for you to want it more when it's a challenge or you have to work for it. Giving it to her on a plate has the opposite effect, if she knows she can have it - it kills her want for it.

Examples of when I've talked about sex:

she talks about getting arrested in a dream - I replied "were they fluffy handcuffs? did you get spanked? haha" - GOOD


She sends a photo of her from holiday - I reply "you actually look decent here, I would, twice." - BAD

She says "you have good hair" I say "it all makes sense now!" And send a pic of a photo which reads "I like your hair, let's have sex" - BAD

 

[Thundernuts]

Jesus man haven't you ever seen inception.

All it takes is a single suggestion planted in the right way.

 

[3agle 3yes]

I always thought that bringing up sex in conversation, and getting her thinking about the idea of you both having sex was a good thing...

You can bring up sex in conversation...I do this often, but you can't bring up her having sex with you (well you can but NOT in a serious manner).

reading the rational male however I came across this:
“Overtly communicating a desire for reciprocal desire creates obligation, and sometimes even ultimatums. Genuine desire is something a person must come to – or be led to – of their own volition.”

The key word here is "overtly", nothing confusing here.

I kind of like direct game.

Direct game is usually misunderstood. You can be direct about getting a woman's number or setting up a "date", all these things suggest that you are INTERESTED her.

"Interest" is inherently SUPERFICIAL and can dissipate quickly if it isn't maintained.

What you DON'T want to do, is communicate directly that you're ATTRACTED to her.

"Attraction" is much more EXTENSIVE.

...By being with a woman alone one on one (on a date, etc) - she already knows what you want in the end - every WOMAN KNOWS.

No offense but this is BS.

The reality is that women are just as insecure as men, women don't know SH*T and the more they are attracted to you, the less sure they will be.

And you want to keep the b*tch on her toes at all times.

In fact, the key to arousing women is teasing them...ALWAYS be subtle in everything you do and IMPLY sex without outrightly saying it...this will get them wet in preparation.

Women crave the anticipation of sex...maybe even more than the sex itself.

 

[GotED?]

No offense but this is BS.

I think the only BS here is the way you communicate.

You can express your own idea (and share, what a concept!) by not being rudely arrogant and bashing other people's posts.

If that was your idea of 'No Offense' - I would be afraid to see how you express yourself if it was intentionally offensive.

People like you write with arrogance thinking you know it all, just like Play_Her Man, and that's how he got banned. You also show how naive and inexperienced you are by not really understanding women fully yet at your age; or you only deal with girls and not women yet.


Welcome to your own hypocrisy.

Exodus

 

[CrimsonPanther]

I think the only BS here is the way you communicate.

You can express your own idea (and share, what a concept!) by not being rudely arrogant and bashing other people's posts.

well, arrogance aside, he does have a point. women STRONGLY SUSPECT you wanna bone them, but they rarely KNOW it, unless they are self-entitled arrogant hos. but yeah, i know what you are saying, basically because most guys wanna scroo EVERY woman, so they might as well "know" it.

especially if they think you are a quality man, all their insecurity comes out to play. it's fun to play them at this point.
if they KNOW, however, then why do you think they are there in the first place? we can also know this one. if a girls is there with you, 90% you are on the right way. a surefire way for me to find out if she is in the bag, to crack a stupid unfunny joke. if she laughs (and the way she does it is also a clue), she's yours.

 

[Don-Kong]

Show, not tell.
Have a sexual energy about you. You are a Greek love god. She wants to taste it, yes she does, know it. Flirt and touch. Leave out words like BJ. Thats high-school stuff and isnt very personal.
Most hot women already know they are attractive and guys wanna do them, thats just obvious. Work on her interest level

 

[wonderer]

Thanks guys,

So let me see if I've understood this correctly:


Talking about sex is important - it lets her know that you are a sexual being and not afraid of your sexuality. It is used as a tool (Amongst several) of staying away from the friendzone. BUT talking about sex should never be directed towards her, this eludes the mystery about yourself to her and you want her to come to her own natural choice. She wants to feel like she's earned it, it's human nature to want something you can't have or for you to want it more when it's a challenge or you have to work for it. Giving it to her on a plate has the opposite effect, if she knows she can have it - it kills her want for it.

Examples of when I've talked about sex:

she talks about getting arrested in a dream - I replied "were they fluffy handcuffs? did you get spanked? haha" - GOOD


She sends a photo of her from holiday - I reply "you actually look decent here, I would, twice." - BAD

She says "you have good hair" I say "it all makes sense now!" And send a pic of a photo which reads "I like your hair, let's have sex" - BAD

Can I get feedback on this?