Having a problem hooking up with a girl that I’m just good friends with.

[T-Mack]

I don’t know how to give off hints that I want to hook up without straight out saying it to this girl because we are friends. She is a cool girl to hang with sometimes just not someone I’d want to date so I’m trying to work the friends with benefits angle in.

We were at a party the other night. She starts telling me about a guy at the party that she wants to bang really bad. She has a boyfriend but there relationship became long-distance a few months ago. She goes on about how she doesn’t care right now and pretty much hinting she wants to get laid. She was going real heavy on the alcohol that night.

Then later on she starts acting like a biatch to me and everyone around her. At that point I avoided her for the rest of the night and socialized with other friends. Well few days later she talks to me about the other night and says are you mad at me. I say yeah you were being a BlTCH to her face. I know I should have just said no. She keeps asking me why I am mad at her.

Then I don’t talk to her and later on that day she wrote me a note saying she cares about our friendship and that she is sorry and that drinking too much alcohol is no excuse for her actions and that she can’t tell if I’m really mad at her or just joking and she also says I can’t remember anything from that night. She’s called me 3 times today and left voice mails and texts me a few times to call her.

Should I just ignore her and on a later day say I was only joking. I’m not really mad at her. I’m just annoyed by the way she is acting right now. I really want to say to her I don’t care to hear about the guys you want to hook up with unless you plan to be hooking up with me too.

 

[horaholic]

Forget about it. You can say all you want about just making her your FB, but you know damn well, you'll want more. If you bang her once, and still be friends, it'll tear you up when she starts hooking up with other dudes in front of you, and she will. The best thing you can do is show interest in her girlfriends and ask her to help hook you up. If shes your friend, she'll do it. I've been stating this a lot lately: If a chick is really your friend she will try to get you laid. This in turn, might actually raise her interest for you anyway, when she sees you hooking up with other girls.

 

[loving]

I think nows a good time to spring the FB bomb on her.

Shes already got her emotions spiked because of the first time you told her how you feel, why not be true to yourself and express how you would to any other girl?

Listen, you gotta be damn sure your happiness is worth more than that friendship, because I tell you if she says no you are going to feel very supressed the rest of the time around her.

Otherwise, its just gonna keep building and building in your head until you just cant physically take it (yes it will affect you physically eventually) and burst, but you will be in a much worse and much more emotionally invested position then. So, do it asap if you wannit. Dont come from scarcity and recognize you are still #1. Dont expect anything and remember you are looking out for you like how she is looking out for her. If you dont end up getting those feelings back, it is a great learning experience to tell you how to better yourself for the future, maybe ask her for some feedback in that case. Asking that at the very least leaves you a bridge to preserve your friendship if you dont get all of the wrong kinds of emotions in your brain afterwards.

Good luck