Having a Hard time.

[theapprentice]

Im 20 and starting my third year of college. I have two really good close friends who I have known for about 6 years and I really wouldnt trade them in for anything else. Its just that im 20 and I sit home on the weekends because one of my friends is not single so he doesnt want to go clubbing and the other friend is always busy doing work for his dad.

I know I am in college and its a perfect oppurtunity, but I just cant seem to open myself up to new people, I feel inadequate or inferior to some of the guys and girls that I want to talk to.

I know that its not the right way I should be feeling but its what my reality is. Especially if I want to go talk to guys who are socially well connected or snobby girls, I feel even worse in their presence because I know I have to pretend to feel confident, because I even know that they dont want some low self esteem guy to be hanging around them.

I feel kind of trapped in a box, since I cant seem to talk myself out of feeling inferior about myself. I also cant spot any oppurtunites to go partying or clubbing to meet new people.

What do I need to do?

 

[Ace of Flames]

Look at hope7's two threads about meeting people in college and making friends. Pretty good stuff in there.

 

[CORVETTE06]

dude, dont feel inferior. Everyone loves meeting new people and having new friends. What you need to do is join some clubs at your school and socialize more. Talk to your classmates, introduce yourself to people, and appear approachable. make sure you smile at people and appear open. dont be afraid to meet new people. i used to be like that but then i changed. it feels great to make new friends!

 

[theapprentice]

how

how do I appear approachable?

 

[Ace of Flames]

Don't worry about it. Just don't look like a scrubby hobo and you'll be fine. You'll have to be the one making the approach. If you sit around waiting for someone to talk to you, you'll be a very sad and lonely panda.

 

[bingo_]

if you don't want to approach a girl then don't. you don't HAVE to... alot of times you just accidently bump into a girl and are forced to talk. do what you feel.

 

[theapprentice]

hmm..

Ic...I know that there are many oppurtunites, but I need some confidence to take advantage of them.

Any short tips on how to raise my confidence level?

 

[bingo_]

talk to anyone. keep doing it until it feels comfortable. get social, go to parties.

 

[Cod3r]

I have the same problem, not to the same extent as I used to because I've realized a few things...

1. People want to meet new people

- Even the ones with close friends and little cliques want bigger cliques. You are not going to annoy them by approaching and wanting to be friends. Have something to offer, aka your funny, ur smart, u can approach girls, ect... Don't be needy tho, go in genuine about wanting friends and no expectations.

2. Everyone wants people to go out with.

- In college everyone wants to have the most friends to go to a party. It's reality that people LOVE to get on the phone and call people to come chill. It's social proof... they'll use u until they see ur actually a cool guy and then the real friendship can start....


Get that in ur head... people want people... even u... hard to get it into ur head but once you do... u'll have alot of success. REAL friends tho, that takes ALOT of time... u don't get real friends by being social


-Cod3r

 

[Randomer]

there must be some student center type place at your college right? That's definitely the #1 way I made friends in college last year (my freshman year) lol... I'd play pool, ping pong and in general just hang out there and met a lot of really fun cool people! Honestly I didn't even plan on making friends that way or anything, it just happened!