"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Haven't been laid in forever.

MountainSlide

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Okay, so here is my deal. I was in prison for five years because I was drunk and beat the **** out of a police officer. Before I went to prison, every single girl I hit on, every girl I spoke with was pretty much begging me for it. Now I haven't gotten laid for a supremely long time and have been out a couple months now with little to no success beyond a hug. Living in a new city which also doesn't help considering I don't know anyone. I considered going to a rub and tug just to get the balls rolling -- see my pun? Now the thing is that I don't want to cheat myself out of the achievement of ending the dry spell but I have several conditions because of my parole and I am basically left without the opportunity to hit up the bar scene because of "abstain from alcohol". This leaves me with a few options that I can think of. Get to know women that I work with and try to hit them up, try daytime cold-pickups, or online dating websites. So far online dating websites have been a complete flop for me and I am finding these daytime pickups to be quite difficult. It is more difficult because it is almost like women know that I haven't been laid for so long, like they can sense it. But I will not deny myself, my right, to get laid and do it proper. I am spending time reading a lot of articles and posts on this site and they are very helpful. My confidence isn't what it could be and things are starting to seem hopeless. Anyone have some good advice?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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sylvester the cat

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MountainSlide said:
Okay, so here is my deal. I was in prison for five years because I was drunk and beat the **** out of a police officer. Before I went to prison, every single girl I hit on, every girl I spoke with was pretty much begging me for it. Now I haven't gotten laid for a supremely long time and have been out a couple months now with little to no success beyond a hug. Living in a new city which also doesn't help considering I don't know anyone. I considered going to a rub and tug just to get the balls rolling -- see my pun? Now the thing is that I don't want to cheat myself out of the achievement of ending the dry spell but I have several conditions because of my parole and I am basically left without the opportunity to hit up the bar scene because of "abstain from alcohol". This leaves me with a few options that I can think of. Get to know women that I work with and try to hit them up, try daytime cold-pickups, or online dating websites. So far online dating websites have been a complete flop for me and I am finding these daytime pickups to be quite difficult. It is more difficult because it is almost like women know that I haven't been laid for so long, like they can sense it. But I will not deny myself, my right, to get laid and do it proper. I am spending time reading a lot of articles and posts on this site and they are very helpful. My confidence isn't what it could be and things are starting to seem hopeless. Anyone have some good advice?
there is no evidence to back this claim up. if this was true then you would never have lost your virginity.

it is just your mind playing tricks on you.
 

bigneil

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OP wrote: "It is more difficult because it is almost like women know that I haven't been laid for so long, like they can sense it. "

Indeed, women can sense it. A woman is like a computer who (if you look her in the eye for 3 seconds) can tell precisely what the last 3 girls thought about you. This can work for you as well as against you! You pick up where you left off with the last girl (corrected for the local male/female ratio and your average age difference).

This is why, at this stage, you must buy your way out of the slump. I didn't think it could work, but it does. You simply must fork over the resources to perform the correction and then everything will start to flow better.

The other alternative is to do a fat girl and work your way back up.
 

SgtSplacker

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Congratulations on earning your freedom.

If what you want are sluts go to a "rub and tug" for sure..

But assuming you want a normal girl with normal intentions that's not banging gangsters the first thing you have to overcome is that prison time. After a girl gets to know you it can be a sexy thing to say you have been prison. But at the beginning it's a huge red flag.

Women will think you are capable of rape and homosexuality because of your prison time.

Women will also assume you do not have a good job with something like that in your past.

I'm not sure what you look like but I would make sure I had a clean appearance. And make sure you have some interests that hold some virtue in the eyes of women. For a guy like you I would look at taking some dance lessons. Not to learn how to dance but to meet the women there that do. And since you are taking dance lessons you are demonstrating an interest in something virtuous. You show that soft side at first, then after the lay drop the incarceration bomb on her and see how she reacts.

And you need to find a good job, women that have something going for them are not going to settle for a poor man. You're not in school anymore...

Or just work on the bar trash in your area for now lol.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Greasy Pig

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My best mate didn't get laid for 18 months once when we were about 21. Fast forward to now (and after finding SS) and he's banged over 300 chicks and us engaged to an absolute glamour.
So there is hope. Once you break the seal, you should be able to maintain some momentum.
 

Cheeks

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I know what you mean. Outside of the prison time, I myself go through long periods of not even being around women, let alone bedding them. I don't know what it is about me, but it seems like everybody in these forums and the wider community is always surrounded by hot girls to practice on. Meanwhile I'm wondering if I'll ever even come across one in the next year. Most of my time is spent sitting in an office or in traffic, and when the weekend rolls around I have nothing to do and nobody to call.

Its been about 4 months since I've been laid and I don't see anything happening soon. You're absolutely right about women being able to sense it, that's something that is never covered in PUA and dating advice. I guess there are just those who have the logistics favoring them and those who don't.
 

Eternal_water

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Cheeks said:
I know what you mean. Outside of the prison time, I myself go through long periods of not even being around women, let alone bedding them. I don't know what it is about me, but it seems like everybody in these forums and the wider community is always surrounded by hot girls to practice on. Meanwhile I'm wondering if I'll ever even come across one in the next year. Most of my time is spent sitting in an office or in traffic, and when the weekend rolls around I have nothing to do and nobody to call.

Its been about 4 months since I've been laid and I don't see anything happening soon. You're absolutely right about women being able to sense it, that's something that is never covered in PUA and dating advice. I guess there are just those who have the logistics favoring them and those who don't.
Well, youre getting a lot more than me.
 

Cheeks

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Eternal_water said:
Well, youre getting a lot more than me.

Trust me, I've been through much longer dry spells than that. And like I said, there's no women in my life so the projected downtime is even longer.
 

Eternal_water

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Cheeks said:
Trust me, I've been through much longer dry spells than that. And like I said, there's no women in my life so the projected downtime is even longer.
I'm willing to bet my dry spell is longer.

23 years, the same number of years I've been alive.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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B

BeDJ

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PairPlusRoyalFlush said:
Did you get any tats in prison? Telling women about prison should be a panty dropper.
My plate stopped talking to me when she found out I was recently booked in jail. Hmmm, maybe I didn't get a commemorative teardrop tattoo?
 

Cheeks

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Eternal_water said:
I'm willing to bet my dry spell is longer.

23 years, the same number of years I've been alive.
And what's stopping you from losing the v-card?
 

Cheeks

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Nevermind, just saw your other thread.

My advice would be to take up as many hobbies and interests as you can, and make sure some of them will force you out of your comfort zone and into situations where you have to interact with people. I'm not saying this will work, I'm doing it myself and it hasn't really paid off. But I don't know what else there is you can do really.
 

Eternal_water

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Well for one I haven't had a girlfriend in years. All the girls I know have boyfriends. I have a social circle of about 1 friend.

I play a lot of sports and I go to the gym several times a week. Apart from still having some acne I actually think I am good looking. But I have no idea how to game girls. And cold approaching would just make me come of as some creeper surely?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Gray The Prince

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Eternal_water said:
Well for one I haven't had a girlfriend in years. All the girls I know have boyfriends. I have a social circle of about 1 friend.

I play a lot of sports and I go to the gym several times a week. Apart from still having some acne I actually think I am good looking. But I have no idea how to game girls. And cold approaching would just make me come of as some creeper surely?

Then why is your rep power so high then? o_O :confused:
 

Zarky

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Keep trying, man. A few months is nothing. It'll happen. I agree that telling women you "beat the **** out of a cop" and spent some time in prison will probably help you. However, I think I'd say "a couple years" rather than 5. 5 is a loong time.
 

JoeMarron

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Eternal_water said:
Well for one I haven't had a girlfriend in years. All the girls I know have boyfriends. I have a social circle of about 1 friend.

I play a lot of sports and I go to the gym several times a week. Apart from still having some acne I actually think I am good looking. But I have no idea how to game girls. And cold approaching would just make me come of as some creeper surely?
Hah this sounds kinda like me. If you don't have the balls to talk to girls in real life at least utilize the internet. That's how I found success.

Gray The Prince said:
Then why is your rep power so high then? o_O
:crackup: look at mine. I'll admit that it's better to take advice from more experienced posters but I don't think a massive lay count is necessary to know what you're talking about. A virgin who's read the DJ Bible can be more knowledgeable than the 30 year old who stumbled into five relationships and finally settled into a relationship with an obese wife who he supplicates to on a regular basis.
 

logicallefty

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Maximummax said:
totally agree with this
Ditto. I've been both a cop and I've also been arrested and in jail myself (for 3 days). Chicks, and even some guys, would rather hear about me being in jail than any of my stories as a cop. My 3 days in the County were pretty uneventful and the most boring 3 days of my life. I think my stories as both a beat cop and detective, the crazy people I met and sh!t I dealt with, are much more exciting than jail was, but to each their own.
 

sylvester the cat

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Cheeks said:
You're absolutely right about women being able to sense it, that's something that is never covered in PUA and dating advice. I guess there are just those who have the logistics favoring them and those who don't.
YOu have absolutely no evidence to back this statement up.

all you are doing is projecting your own fears and insecurities onto women and using that as an excuse for them not wanting to sleep with you. total BS.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

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