Haven’t been on here in a long time still trying to get my life together

[BaronOfHair]

@needimprovement250 "B.) That has nothing to do with it, even BaronOfHair said as much"

So that I'm not misquoted/misunderstood:

One doesn't require any connection beyond an internet one(which OP clearly has)to find the sort of arrangement I'm describing. Dunno where OP lives or where he's searched, nonetheless just for the hell of it, I Googled "House sitter wanted" in my local area, and found well over a dozen hits(several them offering a stipend to the house sitter)immediately. I don't live in NYC or Los Angeles, yet these opportunities are plentiful

You're clearly online, thus I'm genuninely puzzled as to why you're unable to locate a residence that's cheap-damned near free of monetary charge. We're not discussing buying a house here, simply finding digs in which you can live independently. Again:

I Googled "House Sitters wanted" in the city I'm tooling around in, and received over a dozen listings instantly, several of which provide the house sitter with a stipend. These opportunities are plentiful, and I don't even live in NYC or Los Angeles

You'll need to at least be sober during/clean yourself up physically, before interviewing with the properitor of whichever residence you attempt to secure. Looking, speaking, and stinking like a poor man's Seth Rogan when you first meet the properitor will obliterate their confidence in you, faster than that Baldoni lawsuit destroyed the easy going, girl next door image Blake Lively had spent over 20 years cultivating