"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Have you succeeded in quiting cigarettes? What did you do?
- Thread starter Warrior74
- Start date
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Rookie_son
Don Juan
you gotta not use willpower man, you make it hard that way. you need to remove the desire, if you dont want something you're not going to do it. thats what i did. I found it pretty easy to quit that way after 6 years of smoking.
How do you remove the desire? you gotta research man. ill start you off, get a sheet of paper and create a pro side and a con side. list the benefits of smoking and list the disadvantages. Think about it, you're an addict, a drug addict i might say. smoking doesnt relieve stress, smoking is what caused the stress beforehand. You smoke too become normal for those 2 minutes you have that cigarette in your hand, then are back on withdrawal as soon as that cigarette is finished, someone who doesnt smoke, enjoys thats feeling non-stop. When your bored and you smoke, does smoking really get rid of the boredom? nah man, not really ay. We just say to ourself it does.
I also recommend you get that book by alan carr, "the easy way to stop smoking"
good luck brother
How do you remove the desire? you gotta research man. ill start you off, get a sheet of paper and create a pro side and a con side. list the benefits of smoking and list the disadvantages. Think about it, you're an addict, a drug addict i might say. smoking doesnt relieve stress, smoking is what caused the stress beforehand. You smoke too become normal for those 2 minutes you have that cigarette in your hand, then are back on withdrawal as soon as that cigarette is finished, someone who doesnt smoke, enjoys thats feeling non-stop. When your bored and you smoke, does smoking really get rid of the boredom? nah man, not really ay. We just say to ourself it does.
I also recommend you get that book by alan carr, "the easy way to stop smoking"
good luck brother
When you attempt to stop... never.... ever... do it on a week day... it messes you way too much up... Something that worked for me was not buying a new pack for the next day... then just deciding "this is it"
then stock up as crazy on bubbelgum and fruit
But be warned, The 8 first hours will make you feel like an heroin addict not getting his fix...
another tip that might work is getting a cold.... it seriously lowers your craving...
then stock up as crazy on bubbelgum and fruit
But be warned, The 8 first hours will make you feel like an heroin addict not getting his fix...
another tip that might work is getting a cold.... it seriously lowers your craving...
MikeBrown30
Senior Don Juan
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- 307
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What worked for me:
- The night prior to quitting, I chain smoked cigarette after cigarette until I felt like I was going to throw up.
- Made sure there weren't any cigarettes in the house at all.
- Any habits you have that involve smoking, stop doing them for at least a week. (Driving, drinking coffee/alcohol, going out/being around other smokers).
- Always keep yourself busy: Videogames, sex/jerking, exercising.
- Sh1tloads of gum in your mouth all the time.
- And although it's not pleasant getting sick, being knocked on your ass for a week will do you alot of good if you can resist the urge once you get better.
Also think about what will happen to your lungs if you continue smoking.
- The night prior to quitting, I chain smoked cigarette after cigarette until I felt like I was going to throw up.
- Made sure there weren't any cigarettes in the house at all.
- Any habits you have that involve smoking, stop doing them for at least a week. (Driving, drinking coffee/alcohol, going out/being around other smokers).
- Always keep yourself busy: Videogames, sex/jerking, exercising.
- Sh1tloads of gum in your mouth all the time.
- And although it's not pleasant getting sick, being knocked on your ass for a week will do you alot of good if you can resist the urge once you get better.
Also think about what will happen to your lungs if you continue smoking.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
My rule was not to try a cig until 18
I tried my first one when I was 24.
Now I can take a puff once in awhile and not care - I like the buzz I hate the smell the throat soreness the feeling like this is just really lame.
The person who can take the cigarettes "cool" and make it into something healthy/ doesnt kill you will make a billion dollars
sit down and think about what it could be, and don't smoke another cig until you make the prototype.
realistically though, if you really want to quit anything, just remember 2 words: JUST DONT.
wanna buy a pack? JUST DONT.
wanna reach for one puff? JUST DONT.
wanna smell some tobacco? JUST DONT.
jerking off:
wanna watch a bit of porn? JUST DONT.
wanna rub your **** a bit? JUST DONT.
thats all there really is, everything else is in your head.
I tried my first one when I was 24.
Now I can take a puff once in awhile and not care - I like the buzz I hate the smell the throat soreness the feeling like this is just really lame.
The person who can take the cigarettes "cool" and make it into something healthy/ doesnt kill you will make a billion dollars
sit down and think about what it could be, and don't smoke another cig until you make the prototype.
realistically though, if you really want to quit anything, just remember 2 words: JUST DONT.
wanna buy a pack? JUST DONT.
wanna reach for one puff? JUST DONT.
wanna smell some tobacco? JUST DONT.
jerking off:
wanna watch a bit of porn? JUST DONT.
wanna rub your **** a bit? JUST DONT.
thats all there really is, everything else is in your head.
Forty0ztoFreedom
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
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- 493
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Put the rest of the pack underwater right now. Thats how I started.
From there its just cold turkey until the addiction is (for the most part) gone. Expect this to take close to a year. I quit in March and gave myself one for my bday (September). By that point I was able to have just one and still not be phased by it.
I've been smoking when I drink lately (3-5 cigs), but I'm quitting that now too. It crawls back up on you.
From there its just cold turkey until the addiction is (for the most part) gone. Expect this to take close to a year. I quit in March and gave myself one for my bday (September). By that point I was able to have just one and still not be phased by it.
I've been smoking when I drink lately (3-5 cigs), but I'm quitting that now too. It crawls back up on you.
lorekeeper
Senior Don Juan
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- 252
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- 47
Wow. I was flipping through new posts on my phone, when I stumbled onto this one. I immediately jumped up and ran to the computer because I felt that this is actually something I can post constructively on. Let alone help warrior with
I'm 31 years old. I've smoked for 13 years of my life. And I quit once.
I've had many friends quit smoking. They all chronicled how difficult it was, and told me stories about their cravings, and whined and complained; but I've discovered one thing: Quitting smoking is easy.
How did I do this? I made a decision.
I made a decision to quit, and i kept it. It's been 6 years now and other than an occasional cigar (once every month or two) the last cigarette I put against my lips was the one that i smoked saying "this is my last cigarette".
Now, It's defiantly as easy as it sounds, but you will have cravings, so how do you sate those?
I'll give you the technique I used, you will need to modify it a bit to select something that is meaningful to you, but the principle is the same. I read it in some book a few years back, I just don't remember which one, but i do know it's the only part of the book that helped me, and I stuck with it.
As men, we do things for two reasons.
1) Avoid pain.
2) Gain pleasure.
More often then not, we will go out of our way to avoid pain rather then gain pleasure, but that's a discussion for another day.
You smoke because it gives you pleasure. If smoking gives you pain, YOU WILL QUIT. How do you associate smoking to pleasure? tell me, or at least admit it to yourself.
What's the ONE reason on top of all others that you would give yourself that makes you smoke?
"I, Warrior74, smoke because I ___________________".
We have to break that.
Associate pain to smoking. How? Just change that one sentance.
I'll tell you what happened to me.
One of my closest friends quit smoking. He was going through doing the non-smokers thing of telling me I should quit and was just being a pain in the ass. I told him yes, I did want to quit, as we got into a deep discussion about why. I smoked because I felt like it made me "fit in" It was something to do. We could smoke inside bars, I would drink almost 4-5 times a week, and smoke a pack or pack and a half a day. He asked me if I would quit. I said "yes". He asked me if I could promise that. I said yes.
Then this is what he said to me: "Good. The world is going to be going through some tough times; and I will need to know who I can trust. You've given me your word, and I trust that. You have honor and I know can trust you, because if I can't trust you, how can we be friends? I'm only friends with people I trust."
All off a sudden:
became:
I associated Losing my friend, losing my honor just by smoking a cigarette.
The next day I was in a bar. I had a smoke in my hand. I did not light it. I looked at it. I wanted it, but I did not crave it. My cravings were gone. I did not NEED it. My will was stronger then my desire.
I put it down and never touched a cigarette out of want again.
For MONTHS, people would offer me smokes. I would reply "no thanks, I am quitting" "no thanks, I am trying not to smoke" "no thanks, I'm quitting"; and they would all reply the same thing while firing up their little cancer sticks:
"Oh that's good, I wish I could too"
For months, I would tell myself I am quitting. I am quitting. and one day, playing a game of pool, something clicked inside me.
I HAVE quit.
I HAVE WON.
and that discovery of pleasure beat all the feelings of pleasure of ever instance of smoking.
May your victory be as sweet as mine.
Fight on, brother.
I'm 31 years old. I've smoked for 13 years of my life. And I quit once.
I've had many friends quit smoking. They all chronicled how difficult it was, and told me stories about their cravings, and whined and complained; but I've discovered one thing: Quitting smoking is easy.
How did I do this? I made a decision.
I made a decision to quit, and i kept it. It's been 6 years now and other than an occasional cigar (once every month or two) the last cigarette I put against my lips was the one that i smoked saying "this is my last cigarette".
Now, It's defiantly as easy as it sounds, but you will have cravings, so how do you sate those?
I'll give you the technique I used, you will need to modify it a bit to select something that is meaningful to you, but the principle is the same. I read it in some book a few years back, I just don't remember which one, but i do know it's the only part of the book that helped me, and I stuck with it.
As men, we do things for two reasons.
1) Avoid pain.
2) Gain pleasure.
More often then not, we will go out of our way to avoid pain rather then gain pleasure, but that's a discussion for another day.
You smoke because it gives you pleasure. If smoking gives you pain, YOU WILL QUIT. How do you associate smoking to pleasure? tell me, or at least admit it to yourself.
- Do you feel "cool" doing it?
- Does it give you something to do in a bar?
- Does it taste good?
- Do you get a smokers high?
What's the ONE reason on top of all others that you would give yourself that makes you smoke?
"I, Warrior74, smoke because I ___________________".
We have to break that.
Associate pain to smoking. How? Just change that one sentance.
"I, Warrior74, do not smoke because I ___________________".
I'll tell you what happened to me.
One of my closest friends quit smoking. He was going through doing the non-smokers thing of telling me I should quit and was just being a pain in the ass. I told him yes, I did want to quit, as we got into a deep discussion about why. I smoked because I felt like it made me "fit in" It was something to do. We could smoke inside bars, I would drink almost 4-5 times a week, and smoke a pack or pack and a half a day. He asked me if I would quit. I said "yes". He asked me if I could promise that. I said yes.
Then this is what he said to me: "Good. The world is going to be going through some tough times; and I will need to know who I can trust. You've given me your word, and I trust that. You have honor and I know can trust you, because if I can't trust you, how can we be friends? I'm only friends with people I trust."
All off a sudden:
"I, Lorekeeper, smoke because I feel social doing so"
became:
"I, Lorekeeper, do not smoke because if I do, I will lose my closest friend."
I associated Losing my friend, losing my honor just by smoking a cigarette.
The next day I was in a bar. I had a smoke in my hand. I did not light it. I looked at it. I wanted it, but I did not crave it. My cravings were gone. I did not NEED it. My will was stronger then my desire.
I put it down and never touched a cigarette out of want again.
For MONTHS, people would offer me smokes. I would reply "no thanks, I am quitting" "no thanks, I am trying not to smoke" "no thanks, I'm quitting"; and they would all reply the same thing while firing up their little cancer sticks:
"Oh that's good, I wish I could too"
For months, I would tell myself I am quitting. I am quitting. and one day, playing a game of pool, something clicked inside me.
I HAVE quit.
I HAVE WON.
and that discovery of pleasure beat all the feelings of pleasure of ever instance of smoking.
May your victory be as sweet as mine.
Fight on, brother.
lorekeeper, that is awesome. I use the same technique to quit other things as well.
I have to say something - smoking is not cool or popular anymore among the younger people in the US.
I have been to parties, where out of 200 people 5-9 would go smoke.
It clicked when I was at a party with 40 people, asked if anyone got the matches to light my cigarillo, and nobody smoked. WOW, talk about an eye opener!!
Europe is still not smart enough IMO to realize how dumb this is. But they will come along after the cool kids stop
I have to say something - smoking is not cool or popular anymore among the younger people in the US.
I have been to parties, where out of 200 people 5-9 would go smoke.
It clicked when I was at a party with 40 people, asked if anyone got the matches to light my cigarillo, and nobody smoked. WOW, talk about an eye opener!!
Europe is still not smart enough IMO to realize how dumb this is. But they will come along after the cool kids stop
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Warrior74 said:
Started smoking in my teen years.
Quit almost 3 years ago.
There really wasn't any real strategy to it. I just finally hit a point where I said enough was enough. I was getting chest pains, short of breath, etc..
For my age this couldn't be normal. So after what seemed like 100's of attempts at quitting over the years I stopped cold turkey and that was that.
Drinking was also the hard part for me but I got through it. I did not stop drinking but that may make your life easier if you want to go that route.
I think it just came down to how bad did you really want to stop, for me I finally reached that point.
Best thing I ever did for myself.
Just do it.
That was a good read. I really like what he had to say. I won't lie I finished up the pack called it a day.Rookie_son said:
I've quit before, 2 weeks, a month, 6 months. I always slide back and each time for longer and longer. But I feel confident about being an ex smoker. I know for a fact that after the first 5 days I'm golden. Day 3 and 4 is a total ***** and day 5 it starts to ease up, day 6 I'm good. Day 10-14 I usually get tempted again by friends or drinking That's my second dangerzone where I will have to remind myself that I don't smoke.
I haven't smoked for 1 year 4 months and 6 days. I quit new years eve night 2008 around 11pm. My girlfriend took my cigarettes from me and was like "your not smoking anymore" and I haven't had one since. It was really not that hard, yeah it sucked a little and for awhile, but a year later, it doesn't really seem like it was all that difficult.
It really is possible to quit. My suggestion, avoid alcohol for awhile. Eventually it become bearable to drink and not smoke, but for the first month or so, it's gonna be difficult if you drink. I know it's probably difficult not to have any alcohol for a month, but if you're really serious about quitting it shouldn't really matter.
-Go in expecting to quit forever
-Really commit
-Don't smoke
Three steps to success.
Good luck
It really is possible to quit. My suggestion, avoid alcohol for awhile. Eventually it become bearable to drink and not smoke, but for the first month or so, it's gonna be difficult if you drink. I know it's probably difficult not to have any alcohol for a month, but if you're really serious about quitting it shouldn't really matter.
-Go in expecting to quit forever
-Really commit
-Don't smoke
Three steps to success.
Good luck
taiyuu_otoko
Master Don Juan
I quit drinking a couple years back by reading Alan Carr's "Easy Way."Warrior74 said:
It took me several reads for it to "stick," (at least three) so you might want to read through it a couple more times, if you still have your copy.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
lorekeeper
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 17, 2009
- Messages
- 252
- Reaction score
- 4
- Age
- 47
crush your cravings in the wake of your determination, brother.
I've been nicotine free for 4 years now. It's not easy to quit no matter what method you use.
The way I did it was to condition myself to feel disgust at smoking. Every time I lit up I'd consider how bad the smell was, the horrible taste in my mouth and clogged up throat. I also educated myself on how the addiction works.
I see someone has recommended a book called "The Easy Way" by Alan Carr. It explains this technique in a lot of detail and I highly recommend getting it!
In addition to that I also chose a holiday to quit so that I was away from my usual habits. I also took up a fitness regeime, drank lots of water when I got cravings and really threw myself into improving my overall health. I felt amazing in just a few weeks and really felt an incentive to stay off the cigarettes.
The way I did it was to condition myself to feel disgust at smoking. Every time I lit up I'd consider how bad the smell was, the horrible taste in my mouth and clogged up throat. I also educated myself on how the addiction works.
I see someone has recommended a book called "The Easy Way" by Alan Carr. It explains this technique in a lot of detail and I highly recommend getting it!
In addition to that I also chose a holiday to quit so that I was away from my usual habits. I also took up a fitness regeime, drank lots of water when I got cravings and really threw myself into improving my overall health. I felt amazing in just a few weeks and really felt an incentive to stay off the cigarettes.
Desdinova
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 15, 2004
- Messages
- 11,680
- Reaction score
- 4,877
Believe it or not, I read a book. I haven't had a cigarette in the last four years. Here's the book:
http://www.amazon.com/Easy-Way-Stop...=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1270757558&sr=8-1
http://www.amazon.com/Easy-Way-Stop...=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1270757558&sr=8-1
i haven't successfully quit. but i have stopped for long periods such as a year before. Every single time i quit it seems harder the next time around. i think i've peaked already.
The only way i can get myself to go on a break is to test my limits.
I'll basically bet against myself that i can last 1 month, 2 months, or 3 months without cigarettes.
In any type of so called failure in my life.... i don't consider it a failure unless i don't give up personally. So if i bet against myself and lose....i would be really ashamed.
That always keeps pushing me to the next marker.
don't know if that makes much sense. It's the stubborn side of me.
The only way i can get myself to go on a break is to test my limits.
I'll basically bet against myself that i can last 1 month, 2 months, or 3 months without cigarettes.
In any type of so called failure in my life.... i don't consider it a failure unless i don't give up personally. So if i bet against myself and lose....i would be really ashamed.
That always keeps pushing me to the next marker.
don't know if that makes much sense. It's the stubborn side of me.
Accension
Senior Don Juan
Warrior74, I have indeed beat quitting by continuing smoking.
In all seriousness, smoking has been proven to cause cancer, but it also causes coolness.
brb highschool forum
In all seriousness, smoking has been proven to cause cancer, but it also causes coolness.
brb highschool forum
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.