"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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have you guys ever asked a girl "do you see this going anywhwere between us"

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stoner1129

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just wondering because i'm thinking about asking this one girl tomorrow.

the reason i'm asking is because there's this one girl i work with and she is really really cute, her personality and everything and well i got her number a couple weeks ago because we were gonna go swimming together and she cancels on me last minute, then she starts texting me this week, tuesday she texts me asking me all these questions about me, (getting a feel for how i am and trying to get to know me better i guess) but she wouldn't stop til we fell asleep

then she texts me again friday and asks me what im gonna do for the night, i figured she wanted to hangout and she said she can't but probably saturday and again she kept texting me telling me all kinds of stuff and asking me questions.

she cancels on me saturday last minute again saying she's gonna study for her job because she just moved up to server and texts me again but i ended it and said ill let her study

she then texted me about two hours ago saying she was going swimming tomorrow and asked me to come, but this time we didn't really talk long.

so anyways what im thinking is for if she cancels on me tomorrow which will be the third time ill ask her if she sees it going anywhere between us or not, but i was just wondering if you guys think i should do it anyways even if we do hangout or if i should hold off on it?

sorry if i sound any afc right now, i hope i don't because i've been working hard since i've been gone on my game
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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stoner1129

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ha wow phat rabbit i'm not gonna lie i was half expecting to get a stupid response to my stupid question but that was good

so i kinda forgot about the whole screw the texting 24/7 thing and next time for sure im just gonna call and not text all night but i guess now for the most part ill see what happens tomorrow

oh and goodluck with your studies
 
Kailex

Kailex

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1) Do NOT ask that question, EVER. NEVER. EVER

2) Stop texting so much. You probably answer her questions right away when she texts you. You are a man, you are busy, you have other things to do than just sitting there texting a girl. Call her at the end of the day, if she asks why you couldn't answer her texts: "I've been busy doing other things."

3) No more setting up dates through texts. And from what I read, it seems like SHE is doing all the setting up and at the same time, all of the flaking. Take charge, NOW.
 
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stoner1129

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so i get your guy's points i just don't understand what is so wrong about asking any girl "do you see this going anywhere between us"???
 
I

Iceberg

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stoner1129 said:
so i get your guy's points i just don't understand what is so wrong about asking any girl "do you see this going anywhere between us"???
Click to expand...
What purpose is it supposed to serve? If the girl wants to be with you, then you'll see it through her actions. She can say "yes" and mean "no" or vice versa. Words mean nothing.

Also, it's just kind of a feminine thing to say. I've dated quite a lot of girls, and I've never asked that questions. Girls have asked me that question plenty of times. You're the man...you're supposed to be guiding the relationship. She's the one who's supposed to want to know where things are going.

You've got the roles reversed.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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TheCzar

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I agree with Iceberg.

You have to get out of thinking that women speak what they mean, they only speak what they 'think' they mean. Matter of fact, you have to realize a good percentage of what people say is obfuscated by their feelings. People inherently make decisions on how the feel, not what they think - so what she thinks to this question is irrelevant.

I had a girlfriend once that after a stressful relationship cycle sat down and listed off the 10 reasons why we shouldn't be together. I thought to myself 'oh welll, guess its over', 6 months later I broke up with her for my own reasons. What I learned from it though was that what she was thinking was really only what was on the top of her head, trying to translate what she was feeling in that very moment. And, the fact that she was conflicted by her emotions meant things were actually, oddly, still ok.

TC
 
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stoner1129

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well i get what you guys are all saying now but i think TheCzar summed it up best for me, my mom does that all the freaking time and i've never really been able to put my finger on it til now so thanks for that

but....anyways i just needa step it up with this girl so i actually have someone for valentines day
 
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sodbuster

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WTF? why do you NEED someone by VD? You are a man! or claim to be. VD is a freaking chick holiday. Means NOTHING to a man-except we need to spend money on stupid **** to please our GF.
AS far as the rest-I'd ask her if she was writing the book of my life. She has to show up for a date,not make and cancel them. IF she won't show up for dates, I wouldn't answer stupid questions-you are supposed to qualify her not her qualify YOU.
 
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stoner1129

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lol wow i guess i did become kinda a ***** in my time gone, i've never really seen it that way sodbuster but it makes sense

but....anyways we have one more date tomorrow and if she flakes again i'm just gonna cut this one cuz i work with a lotta other girls to try with
 
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