"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Have you ever wanted to get rejected in a direct manner? I sort of do.

jeffthechef

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the girl at the top of my list of 6 has been there for quite some time..2 years about...and i didn't find ss till this summer..and before i found ss..i made 2 afc attempts at getting her number...when i first met her..we talked and i was 99.9999% sure she wanted me...and i still am that sure

HOWEVER...the first time i tried...i never directly asked or anything so that opportunity was just ****...the second time i asked...which i did through email..she didn't respond...which might be beacause she was taken and i didn't know...finally i find ss...HOWEVER...she hasn't said no yet....and i am so sure she's interested...but i'm not nearly as popular...i don't want to be popular but i think it might be affecting my chances...ANYWAYS.

next time i see her...i want to say hi and ask if she wants to hang that weekend.....but would i come off as too persistent...i mean i'm sosure she's interested and i really want to get rejected directly or of course get her number...but either awy i want a damn answer

any way to go about this?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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eaglez1177

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Hahahah you asked for her number through an email? Wow lol.

Anyways, how long ago was it that u asked for her number? A year? A month?

And if you're worried that your popularity is affecting your chances with her, maybe u should try to talk to her more privately and alone (like dont talk to her when shes around all her friends cuz maybe then the popularity factor will come into play. Like she wont wanna be see with you when shes around her friends).

Maybe you should just try talking to her one-on-one like in class or when shes alone. Idk if talking to her in the hallways is such a good idea, cuz then she might get worried that other people would see her with you.
 

jeffthechef

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eaglez1177 said:
Hahahah you asked for her number through an email? Wow lol.

Anyways, how long ago was it that u asked for her number? A year? A month?

And if you're worried that your popularity is affecting your chances with her, maybe u should try to talk to her more privately and alone (like dont talk to her when shes around all her friends cuz maybe then the popularity factor will come into play. Like she wont wanna be see with you when shes around her friends).

Maybe you should just try talking to her one-on-one like in class or when shes alone. Idk if talking to her in the hallways is such a good idea, cuz then she might get worried that other people would see her with you.
ahh it's really complicated... i asked for her number through an email aboiut 5 months ago...thing is on the last day of that sumemr class...she said bye to me even though her friends were around..the popular ones...but i think popularity will come into play if i ask her out somewhere...she's not a ***** about popularity...i think what i am worried about is that other popular people will find otu if she says no and all that...but hting is...i don't think she will even tell anyone besides her close friends...and they won't tell anyone else cause i don't think anyone cares...since i'm not in their crowd...kinda ironic haha...

and since the email..eevn though she didn't respond...during the last week before break...we were alone in a hallway and i was too ***** to say anything...i couldn't even look at her...but i did notice she was staring at me the whole time...possibly wondering if i'm going to say hi...or wondering wow that loser emailed me for my number...either way i'm overanalyzing....

I think i'm going to ask if she wants to hang the next time she's alone.

but should i bring up the email...or concede the fact that we haven't spoken in awhile and it might be a bit random

**** **** ****...this is so afc right now haha
 

eaglez1177

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jeffthechef said:
ahh it's really complicated... i asked for her number through an email aboiut 5 months ago...thing is on the last day of that sumemr class...she said bye to me even though her friends were around..the popular ones...but i think popularity will come into play if i ask her out somewhere...she's not a ***** about popularity...i think what i am worried about is that other popular people will find otu if she says no and all that...but hting is...i don't think she will even tell anyone besides her close friends...and they won't tell anyone else cause i don't think anyone cares...since i'm not in their crowd...kinda ironic haha...

and since the email..eevn though she didn't respond...during the last week before break...we were alone in a hallway and i was too ***** to say anything...i couldn't even look at her...but i did notice she was staring at me the whole time...possibly wondering if i'm going to say hi...or wondering wow that loser emailed me for my number...either way i'm overanalyzing....

I think i'm going to ask if she wants to hang the next time she's alone.

but should i bring up the email...or concede the fact that we haven't spoken in awhile and it might be a bit random

**** **** ****...this is so afc right now haha
Ok well first things first you cant get worried about other people's reactions if you get turned down. And trust me, I highly doubt anyone is even going to care. If anyone does go up to you about it for some reason, all you gotta say back to them is "hell yea I asked her out. Shes fvcking hot so I might as well have given it a try". (thats what I would say)

And how often do you guys talk? Cuz based off your encounter with her alone in the hallway, it sounds like you dont even have the balls to talk to her (no offense). If you guys havent spoken for a while, you should REALLY start talking to her more and SHOWING that you're interested. Just asking her out right outta the blue may wind up very awkward for both of you, and it may startle her because she might not even believe anymore that you're still interested in her (since you guys dont talk much).

I think you should start talking to her more, be more confident around her, and show her that you're interested. Once you've done that, just ask her out when shes alone. And its not like you have to say "Do you wanna go out with me?" You could just ask her to hangout on like a friday or saturday to see a movie. I think you should really start hooking up with her first and get to know her well before you ask her out. Oh and do NOT bring up anything about the email that will make things really awkward lol.
 

intrextrovert

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If you want to be rejected directly ask directly. Like say the word "date" straight out or something.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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jeffthechef

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i think you guys are misunderstanding my definition of asking out...i mean simply to ask out to hang not on a date...i read the bible alraedy....

and

eaglez i think i was forgetting what you mentioned...i should really build some interaction/rapport again...we talked before but haven't in quite a while...i think i'll try to talk to her a bit and express interest...and hopefully she'll reciprocate and i'll go from there

thanks
 

intrextrovert

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She could just be trying not to be rude. Would you straight up say no i don't want to hang out with you? To someone you're friendly with? That's just mean to do. It's different when there's a romantic interest, as it's not bad to say you're not interested in someone that way.
 

eaglez1177

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I think you should just try not to psych yourself out and try not to question yourself or her interest for you...build a rapport with her and then go from there.
 

jafyk

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I prefer a direct rejection that's not rude and is considerate. As opposed to the run around that ends with "I didn't wanna hurt your feelings" because at the end of the day the feelings are still hurt, time has been wasted and what could've been a mutual walk away becomes awkward.
 
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